Ask Blue_Nose

I don't know how these people get my email (I have no idea who the sender is), or if this is just spam along with the "12 inches or more" crowd, but nevertheless, it was a good read. AskBN received this just this morning,

"Do you believe?"

and, sufficed to say, this is the most consideration one of these emails has ever received. Unfortunately for my new e-saviour friend, I didn't come to the conclusion they'd hoped.

Keep in mind, as you read this, that although I'm not ashamed of being an Atheist, I'm not using this email to prove religion wrong, or to insult religious people. However, I have no tolerance for this kind of emotional rhetoric (that would insult my intelligence if I didn't find it so funny), so there's no limit to how this is going to be mocked. In other words, I have no problem with your believing what you want to believe, as long as it's not for these reasons!

That being said, let's get to the email. My e-saviour jams it into gear with an all CAPS hypothetical threat to my well-being:

IF SOMEONE HAD A GUN HELD IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE AND ASKED YOU IF YOU BELIEVED IN GOD, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? SAY NO AND FEEL ASHAMED THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

What kind of question is that? Why is the first thing mentioned not the love of Jesus, or the understanding of God, but some sort of life threatening ultimatum? Rest assured, though, that my values are not so easily shaken.

...OR SAY YES, I DO, AND DIE STANDING UP FOR GOD? IF YOU'D SAY NO, THEN DELETE THIS E-MAIL. IF YOU WOULD SAY YES, AND STAND UP FOR JESUS CHRIST, PLEASE READ THIS AND PASS ON.

Note the implication that this is a guy with a gun who's out to kill Christians, and that answering 'yes' is standing up for something, but standing up for free thinking or science is shameful.


Note: This is a true article that was printed in a southern newspaper less then a year ago

Ohhh, a "true" article, supposedly from some unnamed "southern newspaper". If this won't sway us atheists from our sinful ways, I don't know what will.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH BEFORE READING THIS

There was an atheist couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord. One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the Dad shot the Mom, right in front of the child. Then, the dad shot himself! The little girl watched it all. She then was sent to a foster home. The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church. On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her. The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?" The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."

Breaks my heart..... that people buy into this garbage.

Does this sound like a newspaper article to you? What does this tell us - Jesus loves ignorant atheists?

If I were Jesus, I might have been inclined to step in before the gunshots, but that's just me - God probably gave Jesus a convert quota that he had to fill, and the parents were making his job difficult.

If you believe this little girl is telling the truth that even though she had never heard of Jesus, he still held her the night her parents died, then you will forward this to as many people as you can.

Or you can delete it as if it never touched your heart.

Maybe if you picked a real story instead of sappy fake newspaper articles, my heart would have been a little more 'touched'. Note that they say, "as if it never touched your heart," as if it had to, and anyone who suggests otherwise is denying their religious tendencies.

Funny, isn't it?

Yeah, hilarious - funny that you knew what I was thinking just then.

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Someone's been listening to Pat Robertson, I see.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says.

When newspapers start reporting - nay, preaching - news that occured several thousand years ago that's got no chance of being verified, you might have a point. Not to mention the fact that plenty of people don't believe what newspapers say on many subjects.

Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says. (Or is it scary?)

I don't want to go to heaven. Sounds stuffy and eternity sounds really boring.

Funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (who, by the way, also "believes" in God).

Apparently the e-saviour has assumed they've weeded out all the atheists by this point, so now they're going after the undeserving religious people - believing in God isn't acceptable if you're engaged in unChristian practices - it's Jesus or bust.

Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.

Shame on those who wish to spread humour and entertainment, and don't use email for preaching religous beliefs. I'm glad my e-saviour is much more concerned with my personal life, and how they're going to change it.

Funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace.

No mention of the fact that public discussion of Jesus passes freely through cyberspace and the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene (LCVO) are suppressed in the school and workplace. Trying to get a little tricky, are we?

Funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week. (Are you laughing?)

Excellent point - crucifix tattoos on the forehead should be mandatory for all True Christians©.

Then again, by the same logic, why bother with the Sunday thing at all?

Funny how when you go to forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.

God bless those who aren't so invasive with promoting their personal beliefs to people who aren't asking for them. Is it that terrible that we respect the fact that not everyone believes in the same thing?

Before you start calling me a hypocrite, remember that you came here, and I'm not sending this to anyone's email (though sending this back to the e-saviour might be entertaining.... hmmmmm.)

Funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me. (Are you thinking?)

Maybe because other people are in our lives every day, all the time. Maybe if God stopped by every once in a while, we could get to know each other better.

Pass this on only if you mean it.


Yes, I do Love God

I wonder if Jesus will consider this a suitable manner in which to "pass this on". If he's as nice of a guy as everyone says he is, he'll probably forgive me.