Ask Blue_Nose

Another curious reader asks,

"should dreams be followed or should they be left as just that..dreams?"

This is perhaps one of the tougher questions AskBN (like the catchy new nickname?) has received, but fortunately personal counselling is an area in which I am particularly an expert.

I'll answer this with some anecdotalation, which will hopefully express my point to you:

In one of the buildings at work, there is an open area that's almost never unoccupied - coffee stand, couches, chairs, yadda yadda yadda. Most notably, however, to me was an old upright piano, sitting the corner, rarely acknowledged by anyone. Having been involved in music most of my life, I've rarely ever walked by a piano without sitting down and playing, but in this much more formal, non-musical setting, there's an attitude that's less than conducive to such a musical outlet. Music has always been a very personal thing for me, and to display that to people who don't know me is tough. I don't have a piano at my apartment, either, so the urge was that much more potent.

This resulted in many an evening walking through this area to the building exit, gazing longingly at the piano, looking over to the few strangers typing on a laptop or reading a paper, looking back to the piano, and sighing. I would then promise myself that, someday, I would pull the dusty cover off the piano and play it. This promise was probably rooted in my dream to be able to get back in a band and to play again.

A few months ago, after almost two years of this, I faced the opportunity I'd been dreaming about all this time: there was nobody around, it was quite late at night, and I was going to play that damned piano. With some anxiety, I pulled off the cover and lifted the keycover, assured to see all the keys were present.

That assurance was short-lived, however, as I began to play (Billy Joel's 'Lullaby', if I remember correctly); neglect and time had not been kind to this particular piano, and unbearable tuning, clunky pedals, and missing felts made put somewhat of a damper on my eagerness. Nevertheless, I sat there for over an hour remembering when and where I learned to play the songs, being snapped back to the present by the particularly sour notes.

Since then I've noticed that I don't gaze at that piano as I walk by anymore - I know what's waiting under the shabby cover, and it doesn't inspire me to think of the days gone by. In fact, that constant reminder (every day for almost two years) that I had to someday get back into playing music was better for me than an hour of plunking away at an untuned piano will ever be, but it's gone now, and I sometimes forget my little daydreams without it.

I've come to realize that even though I thought what I wanted was to play that piano, what I really wanted was to remind myself each day to reflect on what impact music has had on my life. Perhaps playing that night made me come to terms with the fact that it hasn't been as relevant in the past few years, and maybe that's a good thing to realize, but it wasn't a fun one.

Does that apply to the situation you had mentioned? I have no idea; it's not the same situation, and dreams are a little too personal to make such assessments. What I can say, though, is that while dreams may represent something you wish to have, you might find a little deeper that they represent something you've had all along.

Thanks for asking; keep the questions coming!