CanuckMom's Front Porch

**Posted:** Sun Dec 10, 2006 10:59 am

[align=justify]Okay, so I fancied the place up a little again. And yeah, I made it look a little Christmasy, even though I'm having issues with the whole holiday thing. I figure that since this is going to be the last year I get sucked into it, though, it wouldn't hurt to spruce the place up a little. At least I didn't put Santa, or flying reindeer, or presents, or anything like that on the walls. :roll:

I think I'm getting a bit obsessive about this holiday, though. I mean, the more I realize how commercial and artificial it's become, the more frustrated I feel at how other, more important issues are being shoved further back into the dark corners of our society. It makes my "save the world!" complex more overwhelming to cope with than usual.

Ironically, however, this whole time of realization for me has led me to another realization - one that I can actually take action on. Giving doesn't have to hurt, it doesn't have to be frustrating, and it doesn't have to be hard - if it's done all year long. So, I'm working with that, and planning something I hope will really make a difference.

Because for me, making a positive mark in this world is vitally important to me.

I'm always building things, trying to find that one special thing that will be my niche, my passion, THE ONE. Some of what I build, I stick with even after it's gotten going and can hold its own. Other projects I've gotten off the ground have been given to others to care for and manage. And still other projects I've launched have fired, but failed to launch properly, and I've let them go. I guess you could say I'm great at coming up with ideas and putting them into play, but I'm not always very good at keeping them going.

But I launch these projects because I'm searching for THE ONE. I'm searching for that one project that will be held above all others, and nurtured and grown with all the love and dedication I possess. I have my passions, but I have yet to find that one, true passion...

So, while this place is sort of spruced up in semi-recognition of a holiday I won't be participating in after this one is done, at least I have the comfort of knowing that this whole process hasn't been for naught. In a strange and profound way, it's helping me reach further to find what it is I've been looking my whole life for, and there just can't be anything wrong with that.

Have a good day and a great week, everyone.[/align]