Hello Darkness! The Official Blog of Helen Keller

Folks, citing Mr. Canada as an example, sometimes, having just a bit of knowledge is even more dangerous than having absolutely no knowledge, like Gangstalking and her army of mental demons. Motorcycleboy is a much better example of that shit head out there in life who, by virtue of becoming aware of a topic and catching perhaps as many as one whole documentary on Discovery, becomes the irrepressable know-it-all dink, a runaway retarded elephant, galavanting and dumbing everything in its path.

There are a few caveats that come with knowledge and they are thus:

Other people may know as much, if not more, about a topic than you do

Didja just take your first course at a university? Didja just manage to scrape out a 65% in Introduction to Native Studies? Guess what? You're not fucking Michael Bliss. (Of course, that sentence can be read two ways and I certainly can't vouch for the second interpretation.) Think long and hard about the course, Persiana, you just took. Introductory classes are just that; introductory. They're designed to give you a headstart on actually tackling more in depth topics in that particular field and hopefully, if you haven't gone to a Hairdressing for Forest Rangers academy like Trent, they'll also teach you valuable scholastic fundamentals, such as historiographical evaluation and properly quoting sources. Persiana, this doesn't mean scouring the internet and xeroxing shit you like.

Moreover, even if you've managed to get into a school that doesn't offer eduplomas in numerology or dishwasher repair, you've still got to allow for the possibility that there are people out there who have, gasp, studied the same thing you have. Imagine that! You're not the first fucker to ever grace the halls of a university, nor are you the cumulative product of academic inquiry. Other people taught you what you know, or should know and that should factor in to the self-analysis of the uniqueness of your knowledge.

Another good indicator of being full of horseshit is the education level of those people with whom you normally engage in debate. A lawyer debating finer points of the law with other lawyers is acceptable; they're peers. But, if you're King of the Bus Stop Scholars because you drown out every other fucker unlucky enough to have to ride a city bus AND with you, stop, pause and reflect. Just because the lady with the shopping bags smiles kindly at your analysis of the sacking of Rome, doesn't mean it's tacit approval of your theory. The people who populate your World of Warcraft General Chat Lobby probably aren't the greatest critiques of your knowledge either. Stick to claims of infidelity when you catch the "girl" you've been adventuring with teaming up with another elf.

Outside the Hallowed Halls, Reading A Book Does Not Necessarily An Expert Make

Here's the next threat to sanity everywhere. The self-taught drip who persuses the bargain bin section at Chapters picking up illustrated guides to tanks or infantry uniforms and then using said picture books to piece together what happened at Paschendale. Thus, when somebody presents their retardo-quilt of stitched together bad knowledge, they get schooled and sent home crying.

Also, picking up a book, ANY book for that matter, and simply reading it doesn't necessarily mean you got it. Y'know what I mean here? Anybody can scan their eyes across the pages of Animal Farm, but it doesn't mean that same person withdrew the meaning intended by George Orwell.

That's why teachers test kids. To make sure they understood the material that was presented. So remember, just because you battled you way through Barbara Tuchman's Guns of August, doesn't mean you're automatically an expert on the opening days of WWI. Didja enjoy To Kill a Mockingbird? Great! You're not a civil rights historian nor a lawyer. Well, maybe you happen to be one of those people and you're reading the book on a bus. But then you probably wouldn't stoop to riding the bus with all manner of what won't fit down society's sewer drains, would you? Smartass.

The Internet Scholar

This is the low point of any argument on the internet and is included here to remind people that letting your fingers do the walking over to the sunny campus at Wikipedia College or Google University is bound to get you ass over teakettle into trouble.

This is so fraudulent and easy to spot. Usually, the entire link is posted with NARY a relevant reference to the point at hand. Somebody bluffing their way through Napoleon's 1812 campaign into Russia? Look for the broad quote about Napoleon, or the link, and the lack of any meaningful conclusion drawn from the source. Or they've gone and xeroxed in the preamble to something. The ignorance is astounding.

The bottom line is: If you've got to bolster your argument and you look to the internet for some easy-to-reach bolster, don't. Just don't. It clearly means you're well beyond your academic tether and you're asking for trouble.

Anyway folks, the Comment Corner is going to have to go on hiatus for two weeks as I'll be out of town. Perhaps in the interim, you can direct your PMs, kudos and wishes to name your children after me to either Mustang or Derby.

The Comment Corner: Even the archives will rock the ass right off your face.