Comment Corner

Folks,

Every so often, people need to try something different. Sometimes, people try a new haircut, fuck a barnyard animal, try whole milk or give a barnyard animal a milky new haircut while pouring sugar through a funnel into its ear.

So, I tried rather a new style for me, the antithesis letter. I sort of enjoyed it, I sort of didn't. Kind of like stop-signs. They're good for a diversion but they're not to be taken seriously.

However, during my sojourn from small-world Commenting, I couldn't help but be bothered by a few different types of people. And by bothered I mean driven to the edge of madness with but a tether keeping me from going more berserk than Lindsay Lohan on a Friday night bender. If there's anything wrong with society, it's the people. Somehow, my car has some sort of shithead magnet installed in it. I didn't pay for it, I guess it just comes free with certain models.

PEOPLE WHO FREAK OUT ABOUT WORDS THAT AREN'T EVEN REAL SWEARS

It may come as a shock to people here, but I swear. I enjoy it. I find that it rankles people's feathers, it's needlessy offensive and it can deliver relief in situations denied even to prayer. In other words, it's fuckin' A. However, there are certain dipfuck prudes out there that cringe at words that aren't even real swear words. Every so often, I'll act responsibly in social settings. I won't necessarily talk in great detail how funny I think it would be if a parapelegic was slowly being eaten over weeks by his dog, but didn't know it because he's a parapalegic. I won't let an ugly person know I think their face is the equivalent of the end-result of a man butt-fucking another man with a claw-hammer. Or women with buck-teeth that look like a can-opener.

I'm also a sensitive person.

But sometimes people take things way too seriously. If, when being socially responsible, I say that Joan Cusack can get bent (when really I mean she can get blasted in the head with a steel-belted radial tire fired out of a cannon), I don't need some bitch getting crab-bitchy about "get bent." Naturally, I assumed this lady was kidding around. My ego wanted to jump-kick her in the nose. My superego wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but still jump-kick her in the nose. So I said, "What's wrong with get bent?" "It's nasty." "It's nasty? What does that mean?" "I just don't want you saying that."

As I said earlier, I enjoy swearing and I despise censorship. I especially don't like it when people try to control my language. To make a long story short, we all think in language. The quality of your thoughts can only be as good as the quality of the language in which you express it. By limiting one's diction, even slightly, it has a detrimental effect on the range of thoughts one person may have. I don't need a frumpy, fat-assed self-appointed censor limiting my thoughts.

I still sort of thought she was joking, so I said, "Son of a bitch, really?" She got red in the face and explained that Jesus didn't like bad words. "Jesus doesn't like bad words? Jumping Fucking Jesus Shitbanger Blowfuck Christ*, I'm so embarassed."

*I said something similar to this, but this is funnier.

Well, didn't this lady refuse to even look my way for the rest of the barbecue, let alone acknowledge I existed.

Ah, it was a fantastic return to form. I was so happy I jerked off in front of everybody.