Comment Corner

Folks,

Updates are going to be pretty scarce round the Corner for the next foreseeable while. I only have four minutes to save the world and it's coming up on minute three.

Here's just a short list of people I think need to be bludgeoned to death in the moonlight and then pissed on by a hobo with AIDS.

ASSHOLES WHO WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT THEIR IPODS

Have you heard of iPods? Of course you have. They've been out for 400 years now and they've become so abundant that older versions are routinely used in public bathrooms as a cheaper substitute for toilet paper. So, consequently, I don't need to hear about YOUR fucking iPod. Fuck, I don't bore people to death with tales of my Wonderbread Headstart Omega 3 bread and how it can cure Graves disease because it's fucking bread.

There is nothing spectacular or amazing about iPods anymore. They're too common place to be impressive. I don't give ten fucks if it can hold 8,000,000 songs, has a grooved wheel or could give a better tongue-job than that hooker that Elliot Spitzer spent all the money on. If you have an iPod, keep it to yourself. Please.

CHICKS WHO THINK GREY'S ANATOMY IS A GOOD SHOW

Grey's Anatomy is the television equivalent of a man taking a shit while running at full speed. So much needless drama is packed into each episode that it literally oozes implausibility at each interval. Maybe if they had Dr. JACK Shepard instead of Derek "Made of Honour" Shepard, the show wouldn't be an aneurysm. The only interesting drama on the show was when Isaiah Washington called T.R. Knight a "faggot". Bring fucking Michael "Kramer" Richards on the show and let those two loose for an episode and I might consider watching.

Who doesn't enjoy watching a nice train wreck?

So, to you girls that can't shut-up about this show, keep this in mind. It's terrible. It's absolutely an awful show and you should be ashamed for watching it. I would rather watch film of me getting raped than this piece of shit show.

Katherine Heigl is hot though.

PEOPLE WHO WEAR AMERICAN EAGLE

American Eagle makes terrible clothing and makes assholes that much worse for wearing their crap. The styling seems to be taken from last year's Old Navy summer line up, but then run over by a poorly repaired Toyota Corolla. Think about that for a second. You're buying clothes that looked like somebody chewed them. And you're paying extra for it. Why not go to the Bay, buy a nice Polo shirt for $90, then spray it with barbecue sauce and let two hobos fight over after you've promised the winner a bucket of gin?

Usually you'll find people who wear American Eagle are assholes. They drive poorly, quote funny lines from movies about three months too late and probably brag about drinking a small brewery beer like Steam Whistle.

Fuck them.

P.S. Clear bottle beer sucks ass. If it comes in a clear green bottle, return the fucking thing at Mach 9 to the temple of the fuckface that served it to you. The beer is always too bitter.

P.P.S. The same rules apply to dipshits who get Stella Artois or Strongbow. Get a Molson Canadian and shut the fuck up.