Hello Darkness! The Official Blog of Helen Keller

Folks, I think it's safe to say that Gangstalking is batshit insane, her army of mental demons are stressed out from the constant warring with reality and the CSIS Mason baby she carries is most likely the result of a backseat drunken poom-poom with a stranger pretending to be Jesus Christ. The clap was just a bonus.

However, let's take a critical look at the story as advanced by Gangstalking, to see just how full of shit she really is.

The Conspiracy Begins...

Gangstalking may as well be writing about stories she read from golden disks inside a hat for all the sense she makes. This conspiracy begins, not with her uncovering a bomb plot, witnessing a murder or even stumbling across a rigging of an election. Nope, instead our intrepid victim mouths off that the cable company for which she works has billing problems with their cable-boxes. Yup. The dreaded conspiracy which the cable company is trying to hide is that sometimes, people who didn't order movies get charged for them and the cable company is willing to waive the charge if the customer brings it to their attention. Those bastards! Well, Gangstalking wasn't about to whittle down her soul for errant movie-charge refunds; she had to act! So, she invented a conspiracy and told people about it. Rational people. People who believed in error rather than sinister machinations. Whoops. Despite styling herself as an ordained Joan of Arc, destined to lead us to a New Jerusalem, Gangstalking got fired for being a wingnut, AFTER having met with the shrinks.

But, the cable-company couldn't let this go public! They had tried to ruin the Messiah, but they had failed to crush her soul completely! Fearing a wrongful dismissal lawsuit for maybe, ten thousand bucks, the head honchos of the cable company gathered in international waters aboard their hydrofoils to plan what to do.

There, in the dark of night, they decided to forgo giving up their errant movie-charge refund scheme to bring the world under their heel and cause Gangstalking to...get another job elsewhere!

The Hunt Continues...

Our plucky retard heroine wasn't about to give up that easily. Instead, she got a job at CIBC. Uh, go team? Anyway, once hired, the cable company executives decided to continue their plan to protect the errant movie-charge refund scheme and ten-thousand dollar wrongful dismissal lawsuit by convincing the entire bank that they had hired a goof! Gangstalking, not one to let the conspiracy push her around, beat them to the punch by convincing people no conspiracy was necessary for her insanity! Having recruited at least two mental demons to aid her in campaign already, Gangstalking set about her task. Every time somebody was at the photocopier and made more than two copies, conspiracy! Every time somebody got on the elevator, conspiracy! Every time somebody drank from a cup of coffee with their left hand, then their right hand, then their left hand again, conspiracy! Key jingling, paper-clipping paper or even answering the telephone were all signs of a vast effort to ruin her. In a failed attempt to convince her bank superiors she wasn't a loon, she reported all the conspiratorial signs she had seen in order to head the conspiracy off before it began.

Electronic Salvation

Itching from the clap and out of yet another job, our resourceful little heroine was desparate to convince herself the conspiracy was real, it wasn't just her really being batshit insane. Having tucked away enough money from her two jobs by never doing laundry, she was able to eke out a small connexion to the internet. Where else, but in a poorly organized repository of unchecked, unverified and anonymous information of dubious origin could she find her answers? There, all alone in her apartment, she connected to a world of survivors! Other people who were convinced they weren't crazy either! Other people who found it to be wholly acceptable to skip medical treatment for mental illnesses and instead whip poisoned meat at dogs. Yes, she had found her rock, her beacon, her raison d'etre. There was no way the years long conspiracy to convince her she was too insane to sue for wrongful dismissal was going to win now!

Yes, Gangstalking had successfuly found a panacea for the gangstalked blues; acceptance from random anonymous whackjobs on the internet.

The Omniescent Presence

What I like most about Gangstalking's theory regarding her plight is the exactness with which the conspiracy operates. Wouldn't you like this amount of perfection from say, anything in this world? If the conspiracy is tapping her phone, they have the best techs in the world who can drill into the phone-lines, without a single soul noticing, at any time or at any place. If she has the lines tested, the conspiracy can retrieve ALL of their equipment IN TIME without leaving behind a SINGLE clue! Fuck, the Watergate burglars couldn't even do it!

The precision that must be involved in installing vibrating floors without ever upsetting any other tenant. The amount of money that must be spent renting rooms or paying bribes or covering their tracks must be enourmous, especially after such a long time.

Nobody ever confronts her directly either. Notice that? If word gets out that there's a pedophile living in a neighbourhood, it's front page news as local residents camp out front of the person's house, threatening to kill him if he doesn't leave. News stories abound about undesirables being found out and mobbed out. In Gangstalking's world, the world is complicitly silent. Somehow, people find out that there's this retard or looner or pervert or slut and NOBODY ever makes mention of it.

Can a conspiracy really keep EVERYBODY silent?

The Flaws

This brings us to the flaws in her theory. For the sake of argument, let's accept her words as true. Fuck, I know, but I did say for the sake of argument...

1. Why would the conspirators be willing to spend this amount of money to keep her silent about a wrongful dismissal or even a cable-box billing scam? Samsung got nailed with a collusion lawsuit not-so-long ago and they're doing just fine.

2. Do the actual conspirators have lives? Don't they ever go on vacation, see their families, get sick, catch a movie or just chill? If they do, this would increase, almost exponentially, the number of conspirators needed to maintain the conspiracy the way Gangstalking says it happens. You'd need any number of conspirators on call to quickly remove vibrating floors at a moment's notice. But, according to dipstick, it happens.

3. If the attempt is to keep her silent, why do the conspirators allow her to maintain so many different websites exposing them? If Gangstalking tries to make a phone-call, the conspirators have it tapped, recorded and redirected to keep her from doing whatever, but they miss ALL of her many websites which expose them. Are these conspirators just sloppy, stupid or lazy?

4. Why not just whack her? What's the point of the grand cat-and-mouse game the conspirators are playing with her? If the conspiracy is as large and as vast as she says, don't the conspirators have something better to do than maintain a facade that she's bonkers? Shouldn't they be preparing for the Martians landing, raising Atlantis or the New World Order? Instead, they devote their time to one person who had threatened to expose their cable box billing scheme. Doesn't that seem out of kilter with a vast conspiracy?

5. Why are the groups she feels may play a part in the persecutorial conspiracy interchangeable? She thinks maybe the Masons are behind the conspiracy to "get her", but it could just as easily be the CSIS or the RCMP or an international banker's cabal. Nothing in her accounts makes out specifics as to why one group is involved and not another. So, in order to make a conspiracy able to do all of the things she needs it to do in order to deny being retardedly insane, she homes in on a shadowy group. But, it could have just as easily been any other group.

6. Why does the conspiracy use East German hand signals? Firstly, I'm not convinced she was able to cull actual Soviet spycraft from the internet, but again, assuming she did, why use publically available signals? Don't the conspirators have anything new to use? The CIA never made up their own series of signals? Don't the conspirators have the money for a cellphone or two to communicate with each other? Radios? Nothing? Just 50 year old publically available hand-signals. Okay.

In Conclusion

Do I really need to wrap this one up in a bow folks? Gangstalking is pure entertainment. I love reading her site as it's some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. That she attempts to defend it as real reminds me of a 12 year old WWE fan defending wrestling as real. A whole lot of "Nuh-uhs!" from pouted lips and clenched hands on hips.

I can't wait for her next installment.

Remember folks, the Comment Corner will always be here with Batshit Watch, yet another public service offered to you, the grateful public.