Hello Darkness! The Official Blog of Helen Keller

Indigo Ribbon Campaign

Folks, I’m sure you’ve read by now about one of the battiest of batshit insane paranoiac’s campaign to identify mentally deficient people who believe in an invisible conspiracy to target them, stalk them, jingle keys at them and, God fucking forfend, put pictures of Tom Selleck up around the house. Perhaps you’re asking yourself why the massive cabal of stalkers simply don’t buy a Chevy Impala and floor it right into these shitheaded targeted individuals. If the conspirators did that, you simpleton fuck, then they would be unemployed and have to go back to their original jobs of city planning, iPhone advertising and ex-East German undercover newspaper readers.

Most importantly, if there were Chevy Impala tire-tracks right the fuck up the front and face of a paranoiac, they’d have some evidence rather than their constant subjective prattle of pulling together the most disparate signs, such as three seagulls eating thrown out French fries signaling to the others of an onslaught of distant car-horn attacks.

But, since Mushhead decided to start the Indigo Ribbon campaign, I thought I’d do what I could to pitch in. For all I really know, she’s getting good advice from her army of mental demons and this campaign might do something more than advertise mental fucktard moreso than any tinfoil tophat, “End is near” sign, dirty clothes and perch in Church doorway from whence they yell about taking shits in garbage cans (hello mayor of Oshawa!)

So, last night, while I was walking to buy myself a couple of Lexus’, I passed through a park. There were 5 guys just totally wailing the living shit out of this other guy. I stopped, pulled out my cellphone and was about to call 911 when I was reminded of Shitbitch’s posts about us living in a snitch-filled world called V. Well, sir, let me tell the fuck to you that I took her words to heart! I wasn’t about to become yet another snitch, in her words “pimping out” my fellow 5 citizens for doing nothing more than beating a man to within an inch of his life! According to her, sometimes you have to fight fire with fire to win the war and end the gangstalking holocaust! After reading her batshit insane descriptions of pimp-snitches, I knew these 5 guys were all “Targeted Individuals” (TIs) who had finally discovered a gangstalking conspirator receiving his instructions from a nearby child who was drawing ex-stasi hopscotch chalk messages on the pathway. Bitch.

I ran, I say sir, I ran right over to these 5 guys and offered them all Indigo ribbons to let them know that they were TIs. At first, they were puzzled, but once I explained to them that there was a giant system in place, a Matrix if you will, that had been pulled over the public’s eyes causing the world to view them as evil people, they were much more sympathetic. I ignored the conspirator’s lies that he was an insurance salesman just going for a run after dinner; he’d been caught and he’d say anything to keep his cover intact. If he were truly an insurance salesman and not an ex-stasi gangstalking pimp-snitch, why oh why did he have his the laces on his running shoes double-knotted? Everybody knows from the internet that double-knotting means “I am about to use Cover Story 9.2: Insurance Salesman Out For A Run. Please do not help me. Will meet you on hydrofoil at 2300 hours.”

After laying in a couple of boots to the conspirator’s head, I valiantly ripped off his iPod and gave it to these 5 guys, a trophy of their struggle against a system that snitches on them for nothing more than drug-dealing, gun-running, intimidation, theft, assaults, rapes and drive-by shootings. Afterall, as I had read during Bitch’s posts leading up to her Indigo ribbon campaign, who, except for the courts, radio talkshows and newspapers, ever really took the time to hear their side of the story? Maybe it was all a misunderstanding that the police could keep getting search warrants and finding drugs, guns and stolen property in their homes. Wouldn’t some of those “warrants” (a gangstalking word if I ever heard one!) be based on snitch information? Those damn cops using community policing to turn neighbourhoods into places where people don’t get shot. Fucking pigs.

Well, these 5 guys were very thankful for the ribbons. They didn’t think they would be able to wear them, apparently, their favourite colour is red and that’s what they all wear as a sign of their unity. They even have a name for their gangstalked crowd, the Bloods! Neat!

I learned a lot during the Indigo Ribbon campaign and I certainly can’t see anything wrong with Gangstalking’s ideas for making society a better place. She’s made a convert out of me alright!