Comment Corner

Hello,

I am one of the Ladies for a Perfect Tomorrow. I spend all of my day on talk-shows telling people how I am fit to manage their lives from afar. I oftentimes write letters to newspaper editors where I will take the latest news story and type it up as proof-positive of my theories about the need for my personal morals to become adopted by everybody.

Rather than require a parent to listen to the music their child so dearly loves, I do it for them. Parents might come to a different conclusion than I would about certain unsanitary lyrics, and then it would be very difficult for me indeed to have Wal-Mart put warning stickers on the albums I personally don't like or understand. The same can be said for rather repugnant television shows. Since there are comedies I don't like, I expect to have government institutions marginalize these shows and condemn them for not meeting my standards regarding word choice, marital-relations not in a marriage and a lack of people learning.

Nothing sickens me more than people who refuse to surrender their bodies to me. Women having abortions is criminal, however criminals being aborted is certainly acceptable. Since I have the perfect plan for how the world should be structured, it's no small leap that I will further dictate who shall live, who shall die and the whys about it.

Veterans shouldn't be allowed to have cigarettes in a separated room. I'll never be in a Legion-Hall where it could possibly affect me, but obviously these veterans need my supervision, otherwise, they wouldn't be smoking in the first place.

Veterans shouldn't be a problem too much longer. Since I occasionally catch the six o'clock news, I am sufficiently ensconced in the intricacies of world affairs to advise my Member of Parliament which wars we are no longer allowed to fight. However, if there is a war which meets my criteria, I will expect nothing short of conscription to blast away a foreign villain of my choosing.

I am also very vocal about school curriculum. I have a child of my own, thus I am an expert on the educational needs of this new generation. I demand school prayer, provided it's a God of whom I approve. Evolution is a nice idea, but it needs to be taught side by side with Creationism to allow children a choice. I would lynch a scientist who wanted equal time at my church's sermon. Children need more physical activity, but nothing competitive. If children learn there's a chance they could lose in life and further learn to cope with that, I would have less of a victim-pool on which to draw support for my social agendas.

The only acceptable interpretation of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms is that which allows me to do as I please. I will brandish Supreme Court rulings like a sword when it benefits me and rail against judge-made-law when they thwart me.

I don't run for public office because it's easier to say what won't work, what's wrong with things and how upsetting the world is than to propose ideas that do work. People will not cross-examine my views while I remain on the sidelines, coaching the players from the stands.

I am one of the Ladies for a Perfect Tomorrow. You'll be hearing more from me.

Enjoy my life,

Dorothy Upmanbirthbridgeson