Comment Corner

Folks, like anybody else with a proper brain, I'm excited to see news at all about the upcoming Metal Gear Solid movie. For those that don't know (retards), Metal Gear is just about the best video game series ever. It combines shooting (for the Americans), hiding (for the French) and throws in a plot worthy of the best accolades a Lost fan can dole out.

A big reason Metal Gear is so popular is that the voice actor for Solid Snake, the protagonist, creates a believable voice and makes a character out of a bunch of digitally rendered polygons. David Hayter does a remarkable job and seems to understand the movement that videogames are making.

Hayter's other talents include writing X-Men and X-2 (the Bryan Singer directed non-sucky ones. X-3, The Last Stand was nothing more than a teenaged loser-fan's idea of what to do with X-Men and $100 million dollars of pyrotechnics. Seriously, any executive at 20th Century Fox could have shit a better movie in his underpants and shook it free down his pant leg. Also, who the fuck gave Brett Ratner a chance? Up your's Brett Ratner, stick to your shitty music videos and Rush Hour trilogy mess. And do I even get into how goddamn awful Red Dragon was? Why Brett? Why did the Red Dragon do what he did? Please, give us the plot point that the entire motivation of the character turns on. Oh, don't bother to answer the question, just skip to an assinine chase sequence. Asshole.)
and the most widely accepted screenplay of comic book's greatest achievement: Alan Moore's the Watchmen. I believe I read somewhere that Alan Moore, who hates Hollywood like he would hate getting AIDS, thought it was the best adaptation of the graphic novel to the screen.

Essentially, David Hayter is THE voice of Solid Snake (and Big Boss, but fuck it, that's beyond the scope of this article...and Brett Ratner's directing talents. Did anybody notice that the first few episodes of Prison Break sucked donkey-dick? Want to know why? Guess who directed them! Asshole.) Therefore, fans the world over have remarked that since he's the voice of Solid Snake and bears more than a passing resemblance to the character:



David Hayter should play him in the movie.

However, some enterprising guy at GameTrailers (I believe) just came out of the blue to rip David Hayter a new one:

OUCH, MY ASS HATH BEEN RIPPETHED!

And that's it. I thought it was funny. Um, I don't have an ending. How 'bout Hugh Jackman? Just rinse the taint of Ratner off of him and he's good to go.