Hello Darkness! The Official Blog of Helen Keller

Folks,

Some of the topics may have to be dropped from consideration for the 2006 Annual Poster Awards of Year Awards. Some of them I'm having a hard time distinguishing new jokes from repainted old jokes. But, that's never stopped Robin Williams, so fuck it, I may just go with it.

Here's another sneak peek:

2006 WORST WORD OF THE YEAR

Facilitate.

God, I hate this fucking word. This word is one of, if not the most, empty fucking words in the English language. It is vacuous, useless and ultimately needs to be explained anyway. Just picture the obnoxious son of a bitch in a thirty dollar yellow tie explaining away on TV how he wants to facilitate something. Like, God forbid, dialogue between two people. Some smarmy glurge-ridden asswipe wants to facilitate dialogue between people. Make it easier, all with a Poopy-Faced Smile. Fuck him. He wants to arbitrate. He wants to middle. He wants to even ORCHESTRATE but he doesn't want to facilitate. Even in this example, facilitate still needs explanation. How is he going to accomplish his goal? Duct-tape the two motherfuckers together? Chain their wrists together "Beat It" video style? Lock 'em in a cramped Volvo S240?

The word is useless. It means nothing, it accomplishes nothing and it only serves to add to confusion ultimately making it a barrier to communication.

Also, it's too close to fellate. Facilitate. Fellate. Next time you hear this word in action, feel free to yank down your pants and whip out your johnson. When dipshit notices a dong just flapping in the wind, you lean in and tell, "Well, go ahead, facilitate me."

He'll say, "No, that's fellate you."

To which you can match that poopy-faced smile and say, "Whatever, just blow me."

Trust me.