Comment Corner

Folks,

The Comment Corner's Review of God of War II was rejected by gamefaqs.com for being too offensive, using obscene words or containing objectionable content:

You be the judge:

The Review



STORY:

GW2 picks up right where the first one left off. We're treated to an opening cinematic where we learn that Kratos has been a busy lil' dude with his newfound powers. A lot of people die in the opening. Faceless, anonymous people destined to die...a lot like the people who died in their theatre chairs after witnessing the hellish abomination that was Shark Tale. Delving more into the theme that the Olympians are vengeful tricksters, Kratos is stripped of his powers as he clobbers the snot out of the Colossus of Rhodes, who happened to be in town lookin' for that hot-momma, the Statue of Liberty. Kratos, first name Jerry, travels to meet, greet and ultimately slice up the Sisters of Fate so he can wonk out HIS revenge on gods who got their revenge on him after he got his original revenge on Ares. I imagine all of the violent revenge piling up is what it's like to work backstage at the Ellen DeGeneres show.

Without revealing plot spoilers, the tale is rather an accomplished one. Kratos plays out like a typical Spartan, driven with zeal for combat and revenge in his heart. The god's actions could have fallen out of the Illiad and the story comes to a partially resolved cliffhanger. The story is easily told and understood, unlike the plot of Tetris. Try figuring out THAT one without a few lightbulbs of meth in your veins.

GRAPHICS:

One of the reasons the PS3 isn't selling well is that the PS2 is still holding player's expectations. GW2 is one of those holding games. Even in chinzy 480p, the game looks stunning with crisp visuals, not much slow-down even in hectic battles, small touches like bloody foot-prints and other such fare. The cinematic zoom-in in key areas hightens the mood, especially during brutal context-sensitive kills. The backgrounds are highly detailed, creatively imagined and for the most part show a vast amount of effort for such little screen-time or even being noticed.

Good show all around Sony.

SOUND:

The sounds sound mostly like they were pulled from the first game. However, how greatly different can one make the whiz and bang of chained blade onto metal, stone or other materials? Kratos and others' grunts, groans and strains of effort are particularly well done. Rumour has it they were taped while Howie Mandell and Hillary Duff read an automotive repair manual. Nothing like poking powerful stupid to get the result you want. Hayley Duff probably recorded the pigs/dogs sounds. I'm not sure but I'm going on a balance of probabilities here.

MUSIC:

The music was great. I'm not a Greek historian so I'm not sure what sort of music they would have actually listened to (some believe it was Nickleback and Boney M), but the orchestral score with the chanting really draws you into the game. The score lends an epicness to your actions. Coupled with the astounding visuals of running towards a distant temple while kettle drums and voices chant really have you believing you're doing something worthy of historical attention or the fare of legend.

Needless to say, it fits the game. Blare it out your car-window while ordering from a McDonald's drive-thru to see if it fits other things. I betcha it won't, but it may score you some free fries.

GAMEPLAY:

Others have decried the game as being a simple push, push, push the button affair. PoppycockbullruddyrubbishDrPhilhogwash. Each enemy seems to have been designed around a particular strategy or two and discovering those stategies leads to the use of Kratos' repetoire to a greater degree than the first game. Simply wailing away on a single button will lead the player nowhere. Strategic attacks, brutal head-on tactics, blocking and rolling, ranged-weapons, magic all play a massive role.

If somebody decides to paint a picture using two or three brush-strokes and a few colours, they're frustratingly going to complete a junky picture. If somebody else decides to use all of the different strokes (i.e. Arnold, Willis and Kimberly), paints with the full palette and throws themself into the design of the whole thing, they're going to walk away with a masterpiece.

The other facets of gameplay, like the wings or grappling, add to the adventure. They seem to open up the world more than simply jumping from one platform to another could ever accomplish. Other creative interactions with the backgrounds involve button-presses, stick-rotating or jostling. It helps to keep interest in the game rather than just surviving wave after wave of monster onslaught. It's well executed and keeps things fresh.

The puzzles return and take some mental effort to get through. You don't need to be a member of MENSA to solve them, but people like Casey Affleck are going to bleed out their ear.

OVERALL:

Overall? If you're going to be buying a game, buy this one. Sony put some money into this one and it shows. It's going to last you about 20 hours or so the first run through if you don't use the hintbooks to solve the puzzles and want to find every secret. That's a long time to ask from an engaging action game these days. There are other challenges as there were in the first game to occupy your time aside from the main game. Some of those are particularly tough and warrant playing too. The story is enthralling, the graphics are wonderful for a last-gen system, the sound and music entertain and the gameplay is top-notch.

Sony, ya done it.


I didn't see too much objectionable content. I guess gamefaqs likes pussier commentary. Oh well, I like piss-gargling references too much.