Hello Darkness! The Official Blog of Helen Keller

North of 49 readers:

Since this is easily one of the more (if not the most) popular site at Canadaka, I feel no shame in contributing here and there while blatantly plugging my own site at the Comment Corner.

The Comment Corner; It's awesome and found here on the Canadaka blog list.

Trying to keep in the vibe of things here in the North, I'll share a few common threads which bind all of us into the rich tapestry that is Canada, but nobody ever fucking talks about. These shared bonds unite us; nobody knows them.

Halls Cheek

Have you ever been sucking on a Halls or some other lozenge for a good long while? And the Halls is pressed up against your cheek? And then, when you decide to move it to the other side of your mouth, it sort of peels off your cheek's interior? Then, when you run your tongue over that little patch of cheek where the Halls was, it feels fuzzy? What the fuck is that? There's no name for it. Every part of the inside of a peanut is named in both English and Latin, but there are no official words for the gross patch of cheek left behind from a Halls.

Hence, I Dayseed, hereby proclaim it is called Halls Cheek. I was going to name it Scrotum-Cheek but there are children to think of. Next time you've got that sticky patch of cheek which feels sort of like a down-and-out hooker's bush, you've actually got Halls Cheek. Spread the word.

The Roll Forward Game

Have you ever been stopped at a red light with some guy behind you? Try this the next time it occurs. You can play the Roll Forward Game. Everybody's a contestant, they just don't know it. When you're stopped at the red, just take your foot off the brake and roll forward. The guy behind you, subconciously perhaps, perceives there is now an extra two inches he can fill and get through the intersection that much sooner. He'll roll to fill it. God knows why.

However, you can sit there and completely mess with somebody's head by simply taking your foot off the brake of your car, rolling forward a few inches and then looking in the rearview for a cheap laugh. You will actually OWN somebody else, if just for a brief moment. Ideally, you could hypnotize him into eating his gearshift, which would just be awesome, but there's only so much time at a red.

Anyway, that's my two cents in contributing to a truly awesome blog.

Thanks for the opportunity Arctic and keep up the good work!

Shameless plug #2 www.canadaka.net/blog/dayseed