Hello Darkness! The Official Blog of Helen Keller

WEEK ENDING JULY 14th, 2006

There was a ferocious onslaught of outright stupidity dumped right into the laps of the forums this week. Anybody unprepared for the tumultuous idiocy would have been no more than an errant toddler wandering onto a busy freeway.

However, here at the Comment Corner, we donned rubber gloves, clothes pinned the nose, took a deep breath and waded into the bubbling cauldron of shit to pull out three bloody peanuts most deserving of special attention.

Our first award is to another first-time winner, but no stranger to developing cutting-edge retard thoughts. Always leading the field in both outlandish stupidity and yellow-bellied cowardice is none other than resident moron, Jaimes Souviens who wins the You Can't Torquemada Anything Award for this rather chilling and assinine defence of dehumanizing torture.
[quote="Jaimes_Souviens"]A bag over his head? That's torture? A bag over the head = physical torture? How? because the bag is heavy? Because it's dark?

Sure it's disorientating, but is disorientation torture? Torture like racks and sharp spikes and thumbscrews? Is it?[/quote]

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? Folks, this is a first here on the forums where somebody actually TOOK IT UPON THEMSELVES to RANK tortures using nothing more than sheer imagination and a lack of common sense. That's right fanaholics, Judge Dredd here is more than willing to let loose a stream of tortuous pee all over the Geneva Convention because his widdle imagination told him it was okay. However, it's not all that surprising seeing the rampant torture he inflicts on logic, good taste and sensibility each and every day. Congratulations again Souviens, please don't beat somebody with the award!

Moving right along we come to the Comment Corner's first time three award winner! Long time fanaholics will no doubt guess that Dummy Matt, aka Motorcycleboy, would find himself with yet another award for his masterful dominance of being a dumb shit. This time, Dummy Matt finds himself pondering what to do with all of the Gitmo prisoners being denied due process. With the same eloquence of a drunk rubbing shit in his hair, Matt answers the prisoner question with this rather sinister final solution winning him the Pegasus Down? Fuck Pegasus Down! Award.
[quote="Motorcycleboy"]No, I have a better idea. The guys I served in the CF with would have made sure young Khadr never made it out of the desert. There wouldn't have been any need for Gitmo.

I'm serious too.

But then, that was another era...ah memories.[/quote]

Jumping Jesus Dairy Queen Miracle Treat Day Christ! Fucking Ivan the Terrible here is not only condoning the outright murder of people, he glibly passes it off as a proper solution! Does he not realize that the Airborne were disbanded for their incredulous actions in torturing and murdering a young thief they caught? Guess not! Maybe one too many Airborne hazing dogshit sandwiches for our resident Pol Pott in training! Holy fuckdoodle!

Continuing on with the trend of outright hostility towards those in lesser situations, Saint_Lucifer (or whatever name he's posting by now) shows he's no slouch when it comes to excusing torture! Picking up the Kunta Kinte? Sounds Like An Ice Cream Flavour To Me Award, Saint Lucifer gladly dispenses with any suffering endured by indentured servants whose debts were purchased by North Americans with this little heartfelt sympathetic overture: [quote="Saint Lucifer"]My very post points out at least three-quarters of those who arrived here from Europe were indentured-servants. They could not afford the cost of travelling here. Did they have a gun pointed at their head and forced to become indentured-servants? Did they not become free after their contract obligations were completed? Many are treated poorly today at their place of employment. Do you consider this to be 'slavery'? You applied for the job. You accepted the consequences of your actions. [/quote]

Were you whipped? Were you beaten? Were you denied food? Well, did you make it to America? Then shut the fuck up says Saint Lucifer, you ungrateful bastard! Maybe if the indentured servants were more like Mr. Belvedere, landowners wouldn't have had to purchase African slaves instead thinks Saint Lucifer. Well, congratulations on the understated understanding Saint Lucifer, let's hope you don't fall in a time-machine and travel backwards to where you'd be fucked!

And that folks is probably the scariest Comment Corner Weekly Awards we've ever seen. The excuse of hateful oppression is hard to stomach just in a textbook let alone when three posters carry forward the practice to modern day Canada. But, the Comment Corner is here to alert you, the faithful reader, to the dangers they pose, the mistakes they make and the hearty laugh we can all have at their expense. After all, they posted it so they earned it!

the comment corner is brought to you this week by a generous grant from the ee cummings foundation