Comment Corner

Shit folks, where does the time go? One minute I'm attacking nuclear pirates off the coast of Madagascar, then I'm fighting the ghost of Mussolini with a robo-Indiana Jones before I end up noticing that I haven't been to the Comment Corner in a while. And then I notice it's fallen into worse disrepair than David Schwimmer's career.

So to clear out a few cob-webs and reduce my own stress on a couple of mud-cocks that have really caused me to burst a colon. Also, I think the image of a man fucking a wet pile of mud is funny.

WAL-MART GREETERS

I want to smack the living fuck out of Wal-Mart greeters. These people are nothing more than living testaments to the value of a good education or a Logan's Run style execution of the 65+ crowd. Here's their added-value. If I come into Wal-Mart with a bag from another store, they'll attach a green sticker to the handle without inspecting the contents of the bag. What the fiddledy-dee fuck bullshit security measure is this? Firstly, they've no clue what's in my bag. So, if I wanted, I could ram my other bag full of blu-rays, buy a bag of milk, call it a day, wave to the dopey fucking greeter and be on my way with a shitload of extra cashola. If I were arrested, I would point to the little green sticker and claim that the greeter already inspected the bag.

It's a terrible waste of my time.

Secondly, these greeters don't greet everybody. Sometimes, they're a little too selective for my liking. If I have to go out of my way to get in a greeter's face to get a free hello, I'm beating her down with the guitar they have on display near the Guitar Hero boxes. If as I'm smashing her down, there's any random string plucking that bears resemblance to Rush's YYZ, then fuck it, that's Star Power baby.

CLOVERFIELD

I finally got around to watching this movie. Fuck you JJ Abrams. WHY DON'T YOU EVER EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK SOMETHING IS? The movie was good, I enjoyed it, but then I got a full-sized cock of no-answer up my ass when JJ Abrams couldn't include an epilogue of some military fucker explaining what the Cloverfield monster was. Was it an alien? A Godzilla? Oprah Winfrey?

And here's another question just for JJ. Could the Smoke Monster from Lost kick its ass?

LOST SEASON 4

My thoughts on the season finale. FUCKING A. I'll have to go back and explain why Season 4 was so awesome compared to the fetid stink-shit of Season 3. While the war for the island actually played out as tepidly as two gay guys lightly slapping each other before crying, the whole flash-forward thing actually worked. I thought Abrams and the gang, well, Lindelof and Cuse, were going to fuck it up royally, but it added intrigue and actually segued quite nicely to Locke being dead on the mainland under an assumed name.

Shit. Spoiler alert on the last sentence. No, the one before "Shit." Yeah. Don't read that one if you didn't already know that Jeremy Bentham is John Locke in 2007. Or that one.

Did I think of an ending?

Nope.