Hello Darkness! The Official Blog of Helen Keller

Sorry folks, but the Comment Corner Weekly Awards are going to be a shorter version this weekend, much like Pearl Jam's latest foray into album sales.

However, despite being a tad shorter, it is none the less just as critical we examine another repeat winner and the resiliency he displays in ensuring his continued place in these hallowed halls dedicated to the dullards who walk among us. It is none other than Calgary123 who walks away easily this week with the Eye of the Fast and the Furious Fight Club Award for this Don King like promotion of what he deemed to be THE heavyweight battle nobody could miss!
[quote="Calgary123"]Mustang1...

Here's a challenge for you then. I'll let you pick.

- A 3 rounder in a ring with baby gloves, and everything goes... kicks, punches, and full submissions (arm-locks, leg-locks, chokes, etc). Even though I'm a lightweight, I'm spotting ya on my hunch that you probably outweigh me, but don't have the tools. If you do, then you should have a clear advantage.

- A street-race. As I mentioned, I've got a shiny new Mustang GT Vert coming in that will have a few performance mods on it (not too many) before I pick it up at the dealer next week. If you are a "mustang" guy like your nick-name, then I should think you will have the wheels to come out and play. For all I know, you are drivin something similar, or faster, in which case it will come down to who shifts better. Or are you one of those guys that drives around a toaster on wheels, cause his wife won't let him buy a sports car?

Alright... I know... you probably live in Newfoundland and couldn't make it in, no matter how bad you want it.[/quote]

First, it's an invitation to the Thunderdrome, courtesy of Master Blaster Calgary 123. Despite allowing a generous weight advantage, Napoleon Dynamite here is confident in his "skillz" that he could still emerge victorious. Hell, a buttload of gangs tried to recruit him at his highschool for his bo-staff skillz alone! However, recognizing that there is a latent cage-fighter inside all of us, he quickly hedges his bet (much to the dismay of the odds-makers in Vegas) rather than risk entirely the reputation he's awarded himself and his Rex Kwan-Do skillz.

But does he stop there? No! After mastering the Tokyo Drift on his Dodge Neon, he boasts of an imminent upgrade to a modified Mustang GT where he and his machine will blend Akira style into a single hybrid capable of shifting faster than any mortal could dare dream! But wait, if the other car is equal, it's going to come down to Napoleon's "skillz" AGAIN! Spotting himself a generous amount of undeserved machismo, he then finishes the whole thing off by insinuating that Mustang's wife is a henpecker, whereas he wisely lives a solitary Steven Seagal like Zen life, mastering fighting and driving skillz before entering them in the Thunderdrome.

Also, Newfoundland takes a beating for no real reason. Dummy Matt wrote in applauding unjustified attacks on items based on speculation. Also, he wrote in that he likes having poop in his mouth, and that the darker it is, the more like butter it tastes.

Anyway, that's it for this week, but a sincere around of applause for Calgary123's historic meltdown in trying to establish an online octagon! Congratulations!