Hello Darkness! The Official Blog of Helen Keller

Fanaholics: There will probably be one minor new article (The Lies What Public Figures Tell)posted before the Comment Corner 1st Hundred Days Extraveganza.

I'm not a fan myself of short updates only a few sentences long with nary a joke to be seen. Instead, I tune into Ellen, so I can witness a ton of sentences with nary a joke to be seen. I'm hoping that one day her audience snaps out of its hypnotic trance and recognizes the shitty dancing, the shitty new D-list DJ and the shitty new dancephrase, "Let's go."

I had a dream once where there was a truck accident outside of her studio. A large 16-wheeler truck tire came bouncing through her studio, crashing, smoking and ruining the stage before bouncing on out the other side. During those brief few fiery seconds, the bouncing runaway tire successfully interviewed a cowering Jude Law better than Ellen ever could before it smashed its way out of the other side of the studio.

Unfortunately, Runaway Bouncy Fire Tire isn't a show.