Hester's Head

I'm a great admirer of John's. The main purpose of this is to show you why he is more than worthy of admiration. I asked a friend to read this and I also emailed it to Sarah to be sure it does John justice. They both liked it and I am very happy with that.

This is the story of John.
I was hoping that Dorothy would be at John's funeral. I bought my house from her six years ago. She's been back a few times to visit the neighbourhood and has come over to see what I've done to her house. John's lived on the street since he was 6 and Dorothy bought the house in the early 60's. So John and Dorothy go way back and I've known John and Sarah and their two kids for 6 years. It's the kind of neighbourhood where you talk to your neighbours over the back fence. Or in the street – if they live across the street. John and Sarah, Mark and Jeannette, Moira, Darryl and Kelly, Pam and Mike. Just like King of the Hill, without the cartoon features. If you come to my house don't be surprised if you find the front door wide open, or at least unlocked, and I'm nowhere to be found. Either come back later, or have a seat, I'll be home shortly - an hour or two or three. John defined Tait St; Tait St was John – a charter member of the Tait St gang. It’s the best neighbourhood in town, in any town. When you live on Tait you know everyone watches your place for you when you are away. But John and his family went above and beyond. Ask them to look after your place and someone would come over to the house everyday - turning some lights on, turning some lights off, maybe staying there for a bit, sitting on the couch, watching soccer, hanging out the with cat and giving them some attention. When I was away for any length of time, they would mow the lawn, look after the house, do some gardening, collect the mail, and so on. See what I mean? Far above and beyond. One of my favourite things was the keychain that John used for my house key - he had one of those little ball-shaped compasses that he said was appropriate for me. I know I liked it. Thank you for the house Dorothy, I'm so very lucky. Thank you for everything John.
John taught for the last 15 years at the same elementary school that he attended. The school is only two blocks from us; Roxy knows it well. We usually walk through it and she gets to run around the schoolyard. If I try to walk by it she will try to drag me across the street to it. John was also a music teacher and a soccer coach there. At his funeral people were encouraged to come forward and share stories about John if they wanted to. Both the principal and vice-principal came forward, but the best story was from the parent of a student. Her son is autistic and met John in grade 1. The son would come home with stories of Mr D and looked forward to the Monday to Thursday afternoons that he spent with him. He didn't look forward to Fridays because he didn't have Mr D that day - he thought Mr D was his. The mother finished by saying that a lot of us thought John was ours and she thanked Sarah for sharing him.
I know that my words can't begin to convey what this really means. Though every one of us understood exactly what she meant, how she felt, what John was like. It was very difficult for her to finish and there were plenty of tears and sobbing in the pews. John was important to so many people.
Walking across the street to talk to John and you were very likely going to be offered a drink and, if you stayed long enough, there was a chance of being invited in for dinner. John loved to cook. The lady preacher presiding at his funeral mentioned how he could cook for the multitudes. People could keep showing up and there always seemed to be enough food. During the last world cup John and Sarah had people over for breakfast and soccer. Two soccer matches and a breakfast feast during the break between the games. In addition John also loved to play golf – yet he never kept score. I feel that that says so much about John and the way he was.
I like to think I know soccer. But I know the teams; John seemed to know all the players. It was beyond nice to be able to visit with John and Sarah and be able to discuss soccer with them. They had books and yearbooks and ran the pools. It was a running joke between John and I about how poorly we always did in our own pools. I'm sorry England let you down this year, but I'm glad you were able to watch and enjoy the World Cup, John.
Did I mention John was a musician? He had almost every instrument in his house, and could play them all. He had been in several bands over the years and some of his former band members played the music at his funeral. They played until the funeral started, then the preacher stood up and said that we would listen to them for a little longer. John also wrote songs and music. I think it was mostly for kids. Of course for kids. He loved them. He wrote and sang “I can dress myself and we had the pleasure of listening to John sing it at his own funeral. Another person who stood up to talk apologized for all the time with John that he stole. The two of them had worked for years to create a children's TV show that never made it to air. John also performed at children's birthday parties. He was most definitely not a clown although he did magic tricks and he did wear red suspenders and red socks especially at the many kid's Christmas parties he did over the years. Mostly his guitar and his kid's tape with his original songs. He would play and sing and with his rapport was far funnier than any clown. The kids must've loved him.
Then there was the John who also liked tools and working around the house as much as I do. If I had a new tool he would come over to check it out, if he a new tool he would bring it over so that we could check it out. There was an imitation fireplace in my house taking up too much space that I ripped it out one weekend and then some time contemplating what to do with the wall. John came over to see what I had done and I told that I would like to install a couple more outlets, as there were only two in my entire living room. John and Sarah had a cottage on Gabriola that John had mostly built and fixed up himself. He had lots of skills, lots of tools, and lots of experience to share. So he took a moment to check and figured out that two more outlets were possible and told me to come get him Sunday morning. Sunday come around and I was debating if 9:00 was too early to go knock on his door, when there was a 'knock, knock, knock' at my door. John didn't wait for me to come calling; he had come over with a tool kit he had just bought. I had the materials; he had the knowledge, skills and tools. It didn't take us (I really mean 'him') long and the job was done. Just like that. It was awesome. It still is. Thank you John. Thank you again. He was quite pleased that we had also used almost every power tool in the kit and hadn't looked at a single instruction manual. John had borrowed my power washer in July but never got the chance to use it. When I get back I'll get it done for ya John. Gladly.
I went over to visit John and Sarah when I needed some help picking colours for my living room. With their help I picked a cool minty green. I was very pleased when they then fixed up their living room and painted it a warm orange (not really orange, but I'm a guy - to me it's orangey) and said that I inspired them to use a bold colour. Those were very kind words indeed. It was a very nice, cozy, comfortable room – the perfect spot to watch the European soccer championships. Good times, good times.
I have yet to mention his sense of humour. John was a funny guy with his always insightful, sometimes cutting, wit. I would cross the street just to talk to him and get his point of view on whatever. He also liked my sense of humour - one of the few, I think, who understood it. John could make anyone laugh. Everyone loved being around John. At his funeral there were a few stories from people who John had 'put one over on.' I'm not aware of him ever putting one over on me, but you know what they say about the best criminals - the best ones are the ones who never got caught. I know that would make John chuckle.
I keep talking about what John did, what John could do. I don't know if I successfully or adequately conveyed how great he was, what a nice guy he was. He had time for everyone, of any age. But especially children. Well, especially anyone. He never said no, not because he couldn't, but because he didn't want to.
John's funeral wasn't just a funeral, it was an event. His drum set was there, his guitar, his England national team soccer ball cap, and his music. There was music and laughter. People were encouraged to come forward and talk about John – they almost had to line up. Not many funerals that you can attend were there is so much laughter and music in addition to the tears. I'm so glad I was able to make it home and be a part of that.
I have to echo two comments from two of the speakers. “I hope you are happy in your new home John.” I'm sure you are making it a better place. I've always joked why would I want to go to heaven? I won't know anyone there. Well, I know someone there now.
And even though we miss him a tiny fraction of what you do, Sarah, we do miss him. “Thank you, Sarah, for sharing John with all of us.” And thank you John, for so much.


“John was a devoted husband & father who deeply loved his family. He greatly enriched all family gatherings with is warmth, wit & music. John was happiest when cooking for a big table of family & friends. A lifelong resident of Victoria, John touched many lives through his work at McKenzie school in the classroom, on the soccer field & with the music program. Since his teenage years John played drums, trumpet, guitar & sang in a number of bands & groups. With trumpet in hand John made us believe “What a Wonderful World” it could be. Over time John became a dedicated gardener, with pruning shears at the ready, & a great fan of soccer Man United in particular. John enjoyed golfing & will be remembered for his long iron shots that dropped gracefully onto the green. John was easy to like & to love. He will be fondly remembered by all those who were fortunate enough to have known him.”


To Those I Love and For Those Who Love Me

When I am gone, release me, let me go;
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears,
Be happy that we had so many years.

I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave me in happiness.
I thank you for the love each of you have shown,
But now it’s time I travelled on alone.

So grieve awhile for me, if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It’s only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart.

I won’t be far away, for life goes on.
But if you need me, call, and I will come…
Though you can’t see or touch me, I will be near
And if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear
All of my love around you, soft and clear…

And then…when you must come this way alone…
I’ll greet you with a smile, and “welcome Home.”