Hester's Head

FROM RCRM HQ OCEANIA
TO HMCS OTTAWA
INFO NEPTUNUS REX OCEANIA

SUBJ: SUBBIES GUARD

REF: RCRM NR 0230 170100Z9 OCT 06

1. MY SPIES HAVE JUST REPORTED TO ME THAT IN YOUR WARDROOM THERE APPEAR TO BE THOSE WHO SAIL ON MY OCEANS BLUE, THAT ARE NOT SHELLBACKS TRIED AND TRUE. ON THE NINETEENTH OF OCT, FAIR WEATHER OR DIRTY, AROUND THE HOUR OF NINETEEN HUNDRED, UPON YOUR FLIGHT DECK IN A CLUSTER, AN HONOUR GUARD SHALL BE MUSTERED. NOT ENOUGH SUBBIES ONBOARD, WE SHALL SEE, THE GUARD WILL BE SUBBIES, AND UP TO LT. LED BY THE ONE WHO LEADS THE SAME, LIEUTENANT TRATTNER IS HIS NAME. ALSO ATTIRED IN SUITABLE THREADS, SHALL BE ALL THE OTHER WARDROOM DEAD HEADS. ILL SEE THEM ALL, FOR THAT IS MY CHORE, SAVE THOSE THAT HAVE ENTERED MY ESTEEMED REALM BEFORE. FAIL YE NOT, AT THIS SIMPLE TASK, LEST IN MY WRATH YOUR SHIP WILL BASK
2. DAVY JONES SENDS


FROM ROYAL COURT OF THE RAGING MAIN
TO HMCS OTTAWA
INFO NEPTUNUS REX OCEANIA
RCRM HQ OCEANIA//DAVY JONES//

SUBJ: GREETINGS AND BEWARE

1. WHEREAS, THE GOOD SHIP OTTAWA, BOUND FOR THE PERSIAN GULF, IS ABOUT TO ENTER OUR DOMAIN, AND THE AFORESAID SHIP CARRIES A LARGE AND SLIMY CARGO OF LAND-LUBBERS, BEACHCOMBERS, CARGO-RATS, SEA-LAWYERS, LOUNGE-LIZARDS, PARLOR DUNNIGANS, PLOW-DESERTERS, PARK BENCH WARMERS, CORN STARCH COMMANDOES, CHICKEN CHASERS, CHERRY PLUCKERS, HAY TOSSERS, SAND CRABS, FLOUR-FLUSHERS, GRANNY GRABBERS, WART-HOGS, CROSS-WORD PUZZLE BUGS, NEWFOUNDLANDERS AND ALL OTHER LIVING CREATURES OF THE LAND, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, HE-VAMPS, LIBERTY HOUNDS, PONGOS, AIRMEN AND DRUG STORE COWBOYS FALSELY MASQUERADING AS SEAMEN AND MAN-O-WARSMEN, MANY OF WHICH HAVE NEVER APPEARED BEFORE US
2. THE ROYAL COURT OF THE RAGING MAIN WILL CONVENE ONBOARD THE GOOD SHIP OTTAWA 0900 HRS ON THE 20TH DAY OF OCTOBER 2006 TO JUDGE AND INITIATE THIS MOTLEY COLLECTION WITHOUT EXCEPTION
3. NEPTUNUS REX SENDS