Hester's Head

Ok, I didn't really turn around and go back to the ship that last afternoon in Hong Kong. I jumped the train and went to China. Shenzhen, China, to be precise. It wasn't the MTR - it was a real, above-ground train. It took me through Kowloon, the New Territories and then to China. $6 and 45 minutes is all it took.

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The train ride was uneventful; the rest of it was not. After getting off the train you have to go into the country. There are no choices - you can't turn around. There are "No U-Turn" signs hanging from the ceiling. They are meant for me and other pedestrian traffic, not for vehicle traffic. To get into the country you need to get in line and show your passport, etc, of course. There are locals, Chinese, foreigners, visitors, and they each have their own lanes. I couldn't decide which one specifically applied to me so I went to the far right (I don't remember what it was, but line 50 something seemed right.) Let me tell you, though I suspect it is quite obvious, that in the thousand or so people going from Hong Kong to China that this kid stuck out.
"YOU!"
"Me?"
"OVER THERE!"
He points to the far FAR left - aisle 9 - "Foreigners."
Ok. I get in line and it moves fast. I'm asked for my passport and then my ID. He asks me what I'm doing in China. I'm just here to visit and kill a couple hours. Do I have a leave pass? No, I'm just here to visit and kill a couple hours. I have to follow him.
I end up in an office, seated in the corner and get asked a couple questions. There are four of us in the office - two Chinese ladies and a third lady that... I don't know... looks kind of Eastern European but with darker skin. She has a very long coat on, but it has a very deep neckline and a furry collar. She kept nervously looking at the clock.
The agents in the office phoned Hong Kong to make sure there was an HMCS Ottawa in town. I was there about 15 minutes before they were satisfied and I was able to go. But I had to get into another line. Where they promptly asked for my immigration card.
"What's that?"
"You go over there and fill it out."
"Ok."
It wasn't much of a form - half the size of a postcard, but the pen I had to use was noteworthy. It was some stainless steel thing attached to a heavy stainless steel chain and the nib moved up and down a millimetre or two. Beyond annoying. The forms were scattered all over the counter and after filling out half of one I notice that it's supposed to be filled out in duplicate. Damn it. The thought of starting over with the pen irked me. I considered for a second but figured that I had no choice, so I did it.
Then I got back in line. Did I mention that a train leaves Hong Kong every three minutes for China? That means that a train arrives every three minutes from Hong Kong. I got in line.
I arrive at the front of the line, the guy flips through my passport and asks, "Where's your Visa?" C'mon it's gonna be dark before I get out of here, I want to take some pictures.
"Where do I get that?"
He points behind me.
I wander off, only vaguely following the direction his finger was pointing. Another agent is obviously very familiar with this - he asks me, "Visa?"
He points me upstairs. So I go upstairs and fill out the form. The line-up isn't too long and I hand in the form. There is a webcam perched on top of the counter but I'm more interested in the stuff on the walls. Not for long though.
"LOOK INTO THE CAMERA!"
"Ok, sorry, I, uh, had no idea I was supposed to look at the camera."
I don't know what they do, but they give me a number, 45, and I take a seat. There is a girl sitting next to me with the number 10. A number is called out and it makes no sense to me at all. I tell the girl that she should go, it was probably her number. She honestly thought that was funny. I'm not kidding, she smiled and laughed. Then the guy whose number they did call showed up. It's not long before they call another number. A number that is completely unintelligible to me. The girl tells me it's me. Of course I don't believe her. A guy on my other side asks to see my number and say that it was me. 45? I was certain they were messing with me. But they weren't. I get a big sticker that they stick in my passport.
So I go back downstairs and get in line. I should mention that a train arrives from Hong Kong every three minutes - the line-ups never really go away.
This time I'm through. All done. A big sticker and a few stamps in my passport and I am on my way. The duty free shops have ridiculously expensive bottles of alcohol. Those several thousand dollar bottles of Louis XIII brandy and others. I buy some lemon Fishermen's Friends for my sore throat. And another bottle of water.
I finally get out of the train station - I'm on the third level and looking out. I could see two buildings as we came into the station that I can't see from here. I want to go see them but I'm not sure how long that would take.

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I'm uneasy - a little freaked out. I finally feel like if something went wrong this time I wouldn't be able to fix it and save my ass. There are three lanes of traffic - which is really three lanes of taxis stopped in front of the station. This also means that there are plenty of horns blowing.

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I talked to a few taxi drivers, kind of; I had to point to indicate where I wanted to go. One of them finally agreed and told me to get in. It was the inside of the three lanes but we went to pull out anyway. It would seem that we hit the taxi in front of us. I didn't feel the bump, but the driver of the other cab got out and looked at his bumper, then my driver got out and they talked for a bit. At the time I didn't know what was going on, but it seemed to be an accident. I wondered if this was some ploy to get me to pay for some damage to his car and I got ready to bolt back to the railway station. They talked and argued, rather mildly, for about five minutes - this trip was quickly going no where - before my driver got back in and we got underway. The driver asked for HK$100, and showed me one as an example. I took it from him, thanked him, and put it in my pocket. He thought it was funny and wasn't too worried about it. We made it to the first, green glass tower then I had trouble getting to the other one. I kept pointing and he kept driving around. We made it there though. By then I needed a washroom. I had been rather dehydrated so I had been drinking lots of water. It was turned out to be impossible to tell the driver I needed to go. He first thought was to make a circle with one hand and insert the forefinger from his other hand in the circle a few times. I guess that's the universal sign for getting laid. I said, "No thanks." Next he squeezed his wrist, his elbow and his shoulder a couple times. It took me a moment and then I realized he wondered if I wanted a massage. "No thanks." He gave up and we stopped at a hotel. "The Panglin" - something like that. It certainly looked beautiful (it also turned out to be the building I wanted a picture of, just not from 40 feet away.)

Image of the Panglin Hotel

The doorman knew some English. I think he was the reason the cab driver stopped there. He gave me directions to the bathroom and was waiting when I came back. The driver wanted him to interpret for me so he would know where I wanted to go. I said I wanted to get something to eat, something Chinese, at a place close to the railway station. I wanted to be walking distance so that I wouldn't have to attempt to give directions to the train station. How would I indicate that? I need to learn charades.

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He points out some places as we pass them. Like the "Kung Fu" restaurant. It appears to be a fast food place, but I'm not sure where we are so I don't want to stop. He pulls over in front of a Chinese restaurant and away I go. Unfortunately it is too Chinese. There are pictures of the food on the wall at the entrance on the first floor but other than that I'm unable to communicate. There are four waitresses standing beside my table helping me. They know a grand total of NO English. The menu is all Chinese characters - still no English. I indicate I can't read it. So one of the waitresses reaches over and grabs another one for me. Two menus are not better than one for these two are the same. No English. Normally that wouldn't be a problem as I would eat damn near anything in a Chinese restaurant, but I'm still bugged out and worried about time. I apologize to the waitresses and beat it out of there. Across the street is a Starbucks - I have no problem getting a coffee.

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I go to McDonald's to check it out. The lady in front of me turns around, uninvited, and offers to help me. That is very much appreciated and I order the chicken burger thing with the drink made from a fruit that looks like a tomato on the inside but is green on the outside. The drink turns out to be a float, made with ice cream and ice cubes. How annoying is that? I licked the ice cream off each and every ice cube. As for the chicken burger thing, he asks me, "Cutta? No cutta?" I tell him that I don't know that one. The lady doesn't know either. He suffers enlightenment, and asks me "Spicy? No spicy?" I had the spicy - I guess 'cutta'.
After eating I decided I didn't want any more of my Starbucks so I left it on the table when I went to wash my hands. The Starbucks cup was still there when I came back even though the rest of the table had been cleared and cleaned. I figured I would take it with me and save some confusion. From there I headed back to the railway station as I was worried that it would take me a few hours to get out of the country. I kind of, almost really enjoyed my hour in China.

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The highlight of the walk back was the lady sitting on the sidewalk with a one-year-old asleep in her lap.

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She was eating McDonald's french fries, one by one, directly from the garbage can.

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Shenzhen had many beautiful buildings, but it still seemed very seedy. Getting out of the country wasn't easy, but it wasn't a chore either. When there are that many people in the station and so many are leaving it's hard to tell where line-ups are and where people are going. I got on an escalator loaded with people going up. Things did not look familiar at the top so I asked "Hong Kong?" and pointed down the hall. At least Hong Kong is the same word in Chinese and English and I was easily understood. So they pointed in the opposite direction I was pointing and indicated I had to go that way and then down the stairs. This was easy to follow and I found myself at the bottom of the escalator where I started. I asked for directions again and headed off. This time I got on the right escalator.

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When the crowd is 100 people wide, it's hard to tell if you are following something. Top of the escalator and a couple turns and I was where I needed to be and things were fine. To get back into Hong Kong I had to fill out an immigration form and get in line. Only a couple of questions and then I was off to buy a ticket. They were nice enough to ask me if I wanted first class. $6 for a regular ticket, $12 for first class. I went first class. It was serendipity. I stepped through the doors just as they allowed people out on the platform to get on the train, so I was one of the first ones through. Then the first class people got in line to get onto their own car - I was second in line for that. The car had nice comfortable cushioned high back seats for everyone. Everyone else was jammed into cars where most had to stand and the others sat on metal seats. I was able to snooze most of the return trip. Just like that the trip was over - I figured there must be more bureaucracy waiting at the Hong Kong end. But there was nothing. Just a walk to the MTR and a hop from this station to the next, on the other side of the harbour though, and a walk back to the water taxi to the ship.