Istanbul's blog

Welcome to my Blog

Page 4 of 11

[ 51 blog entries ]

Previous 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ... 11 Next

Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2007 9:34 pm

So where to start? How does one recover files off a damaged hard drive? That is a question that the 1st Earl of Beaconsfield could maybe answer. EmmyLou suggested I contact him as one can never tell for sure. People often find new solutions if they sleep on the problem. Mind you hard drives were a bit before Disraeli's time. Nevertheless I was convinced he would have solved the problem if he was confronted with it.
I also knew he would be more cooperative if he was dealing with a youngster or a ravishing young woman rather than with one of his peers.
So I sent him a email requesting assistance. I figured if I used EmmyLou's email addy I would get super personal service.

Dear Mr Disraeli.
1st Earl of Beaconsfield.

My name is EmmyLou and I am a blond 24 year old. (Picture attached.)
I have a problem with my toasted hard drive.
Will you help me retrieve some data from it? ( see pic)

I am using DOS ver 6.2 which is one of the latest if not the greatest DOS versions.
Also the size of my drive is about 3 1/2 inches wide by 15 centimeters long. It uses a fixed diskette (see pic)

rather than floppy disks as you no doubt probably very very well know.******

Thanking you in anticipation of a expeditious reply.
Emmy.

******
I figured a little flattery here would get Benjamin's attention.

Well the ploy didn't work. Damn server must be asexual. Message returned as "Server detected spam" "No such address". That seemed preposterous as even a common Fishmonger can have a email addy. Why shouldn't an Earl?
So much for the Earl of Beaconsfield.

So what to do now? I can't let a pumpkin pie and a tuck-in fly...

[ Continued ]

Viewed 95 times

0 Comments

Malice and aforethought

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 4:55 pm

So someone is after Gus. He/she may be a hacker or the IRS, a ex wife with malice and aforethought or a random stalker? Anyway Gus' laptop froze. Who done it? Some nefarious rascal hacking his machine?
Actually it didn't freeze, it heated as it caught fire. There has been a lot of talk lately about laptops spontaneously combusting.

AN INQUIRER READER attending a conference in Japan was sat just feet away from a laptop computer that suddenly exploded into flames, in what could have been a deadly accident.
Gaston, our astonished reader reports: "The damn thing was on fire and produced several explosions for more than five minutes".

Cindy Brown wrapped an Apple laptop and put it under the Christmas tree last year, thinking about the future of her 11-year-old son in an increasingly digitalized world.

Instead, her gift turned into a flaming nightmare.

To curb this trend, laptop companies have recalled more than 150,000 batteries since Jan. 1, 2005. Hewlett-Packard recalled 15,700 of them in April alone. Dell retrieved 22,000 batteries in December and Apple recalled about 120,000 batteries in 2005.

When we heard the news Emmy was concerned that her pumpkin pie recipe was lost. She had emailed it to Gus the day before. She had no backup as it was not in her 'sent file' where she normally can find copies of her recipes.

Emmy said if I could retrieve the recipe from the damaged hard drive she would bake me a pumpkin pie and later tuck me in bed. Whoooo.... how could I refuse?

Well quick as a bunny I called Gus...

[ Continued ]

Viewed 108 times

1 Comment

Mozart Bobbitted. Missus Mozart distraught.

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 1:16 pm

So they did it. I guess they had to. Man or beast should not have to suffer endlessly even if the Missus was outraged. Word has it she is disconsolate and dejected. She dumped Mozart's "5th concerto in G minor" for Mick Jagger's "Now I don't get no satisfaction."
Mozart had difficulty walking. They may be a distant part of the Dragon family but draggin' it along the ground is cruel and inIguana punishment.

Mozart The Iguana Loses Penis No. 1
Zoo officials at the Aquatopia in Antwerp, Belgium have cut off the penis of Mozart the iguana after determining that his permanent erection (priapism) was too uncomfortable and made it difficult for the reptile to walk.

The iguana had been suffering from a permanent case of priapism for a week when officials called in experts to help decide what to do.

Officials at the zoo made the decision to remove the iguana's "thingy" after consulting with the experts and veterinarians.

Mozart is expected to make a full recovery. Plus, he has his spare penis to rely on.

Gus wanted to know what Mozart's instruments looked like and how they were situated? For instance were they in line nose to tail or side by side? Were they identical in size? Did they react to Mrs Iguana simultaneously or was there insufficient blood for two?
Was the secondary organ underneath the primary offering a steady rock hard foundation?
Praying-mantis females and some spiders eat the male after the deed is done. Did nature give Mozart two in case the Missus snapped off the primary with her sharp beak-like jaw?

EmmyLou wanted to know what the Missus' equipment looked like. Was it somewhat like a guillotine that punished would be iguana rapists? Also slackers who were not quick enough to remove their uncomfortable back breaking weight and go foraging? Is that why nature gave...

[ Continued ]

Viewed 84 times

0 Comments

The week that wasn't.

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2007 2:58 pm

Well what a week had by all.
Sunday morning Gus dropped in early. This was odd as he is a nightie, a guy who stays up nights and sleeps days. I said he was a night owl but Emmy corrected me. Night owls do not wake up with nighties wrapped around their ankles she said.
Gus looked glum and depressed.

"Whats up Gus?" Emmy asked.
"Its me Mom" says Gus, opening a beer and flopping in a chair.
"You know she hurt her foot, went to a orthopedic and had a cast on for 5 weeks?
Well it got worse instead of better. A newby nurse gave her cortisone in her buttocks instead of her foot. This was discovered days later as she became acutely constipated. Her rear end was numb for days. Well Mom is in her eighties and is quite ornery at times.
When she is constipated for any length of time she really gets hyper.
They put her on Valium and antidepressants. The side effects affected her long dormant libido. She started making passes at her therapist!"

"Well she is bound to get over over it Gus, Just wait and see," Emmy said while consoling him with another beer.

"Well that's not all, Istanie died last night"

Aw c'mon Gus you will get another Istanbul. There are many fish in the sea," quipped Emmy.

"Anyway just why did you name that damn old goldfish Istanbul anyway?" asked Emmy.

Gus fished a picture out of the inner lining of his fisherman's hat. "Just look at those eyes" he said.
"Reminds me of Istanbul's when he first got hooked on you."

Instanie with the scarf Gus knitted for him.

"The neighbour's cat ate him but I'm sure he died in his sleep. He had to be asleep for that fat tabby to catch him."
Gus wanted to...

[ Continued ]

Viewed 83 times

0 Comments

Rest in peace.

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2007 5:49 pm

Gus Slobomavitch here.

It is with pain and sorrow that I must report the death of Istanbul. He must have passed away peacefully in his sleep sometime during the night.

I will miss the little bugger. EmmyLou seemed unconcerned as on hearing the news merely commented that there were many fish in the sea.