Istanbul's blog

**Posted:** Sun Feb 04, 2007 11:35 pm

So Gus is back and coming over for a visit. That is fine with Emmy as she wants him to remove his Harley from the living room. I had to store his motorbike there when he went to Oz. It was the only empty room available for secure storage since the furniture was reclaimed by that horrid mamby pamby Sheriff. Bloody Poofter!
Don't ask whats in the garage but both boarders intend to move out before the 12th proximo.

However Gus's visit was not so fine with me. I had enticed EmmyLou to sharing one of my hot tubs and wined and dined her while she relaxed. The quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach it's been said. Mebbe so, but to a woman's heart nothing beats hot feet, pretzels and beer.

Gus tends to hang about til the wee hours of the morning. I knew my carefully laid plans for a romantic interlude before Emmy turned into a pumpkin was gone, lost ..... never to be realized.

I had muted the television news as it would have been distracting.
Watching that news anchor phallic symbol deliver the news may register in Emmy's subconscious. That was part of my carefully laid plans to romance EmmyLou. Some people try soft music and candle light.
Hot feet, male sex symbols, pretzels and beer. A winning combination I heard at Murphy's Bar and Grill. I even had a package of Clintons under my Humphrey Bogart fedora.

Seduction Methods worthy of Examination.

"And then one should search... for connections, conditions and situations that have acted at once or slowly, and with which perhaps the origin may be justifiably linked... Moreover, it is necessary to understand why these conditions and situations have brought about such results, when in another person they would occur without the slightest effect; and furthermore, why they all lead in the case of one person to just such a complex, while in another to a totally different one."
- Pavlov

Other symbols.

It is clear from my demonstrated deep understanding of the female psyche that Emmy would have been mine at the end of the night. Visual, oral and gastronomic stimuli would have cinched it.

The TV Prick kept gesturing with hands held high and wiggling two fingers on each hand. I asked Emmy whats it mean? The audio was off but she said it indicates the Gentleman was "quoting" something or somebody. Jeez and I thought it was a guy scratching on a bedroom window.

"Well Emm" says I not wishing to appear unsophisticated. "I know all about quotes."

Luckily I had memorized some and had them down pat.

"First they came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up, because I wasn't really constipated. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up, because I still wasn't constipated. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up, because I was not fully constipated. Then they came for me, and I then sh*tted myself!"
(... Niemoller, 1945)

"Shoo shi shoo shi shi shi shi shi shi shi shi shi shi" thats the Master licking lion spittle" (Chinese proverb...)

"Enough quotes, here's Gus " Emmy announced as he drove his Austin Somerset across the lawn and parked on the African violets. No couth Gus has I thought to myself me.
We were sharing one hot tub here. One foot each in my bucket. Emmy's foot was scrambling my brain. I couldn't think straight.
"Hi Gus, glad you back, why so soon? Was it because of global warming?" I asked.

"We will leave the global warming for tomorrow." Emmy said. "Tonight it is just beer, pretzels and song."

Yeah, my swan song gone South.