Istanbul's blog

**Posted:** Sun Oct 21, 2007 1:45 pm

So it has come to this. I have decided to move on. No not to gravitate to moveon.org. Heaven forbid. That would be admitting I had lost my mind completely. Given up on civilization as most female oceanography scholars would doubtless agree.
I have decided to visit my roots. My Constantinople as it was once known.
I have been a conformist here but it time to be a non conformist. What better place than Constantinople?
Some would say Finland was a better choice. But on previous visits I discovered some Finns are boozers. An irate Finn drunk is more than I can handle. I don't know what it is but the combination of Finnishness and a empty Scotch bottle equals anarchy.
I found it interesting that the women and vodka mixed well. It often happens in a frigid environment where bikinis are only seen in magazine ads. Many became overly friendly and often sprang a biscuit with a cup of tea when I was down and out. The downside was I often had to listen to tales of vodka drinks going back to the 15th century. The broken English parts I understood but the Swedish was beyond me. Why Finns switch into Swedish when they are drunk is a mystery.
I once asked a professor of International Studies that question on a train from Hämeenlinna to Tavastehus.
Phallic symbol he said matter of factly in Swedish. Just look at the shaped bottles.
I nodded even though I had no clue what he said. It was only after he got off the train at Jyväskylä did a fellow traveller translate the answer for me.

Once while I was in Finland I went to the Finnish Embassy. I wanted to enquire about citizenship. It was not a long line but it didn't seem to move too fast. I didn't mind it at first as it gave me time to observe the other customers.
I counted 15 guys in the renew passport line and 5 in the expired passport line. The expired line were all dead-faced unshaven types. I couldn't say for sure about the renew line as they wore veils. There were slits so they could peep out every now and again.
I was getting peckish and need to go the bathroom as well. If I pulled out my ham sandwich would the renew guys object? I could be summarily deported or dumped in the slammer for sensitivity training. Never know about the deadpan guys either. Maybe they had not eaten in a week and would kill for a ham sandwich? They probably could not speak English so I would not be able to explain that there were many more where I found this one.
The best before date was smudgy but I didn't mind second best.
Looking around I decided I didn't want to be a loser in such a place so I left.
Good thing too because that started me on my journey to Constantinople.

Later..........