Istanbul's blog

**Posted:** Wed Jan 17, 2007 2:18 am

Gus took me to the Doctor today. He was worried about me. He thought I was too depressed. Actually he made an appointment and dropped me off as he had some enforcer business to attend to.
I could tell the gum chewing receptionist did not approve of me. She swallowed her gum when she first caught sight of me. I had noticed she had a cute smile when she greeted the other patients. Her button nose crinkled slightly when she laughed. I had a brief compelling overpowering urge to playfully tweak her nose.
Luckily I had sufficient "restrainte inborne" as the French elite like to call it. If they do not well they should as I would if I was one of them.

The receptionist bared her teeth in a weak smile and her nose crinkled when she informed me no panhandlers were allowed in the clinic. OK I had not shaved for a few days and Friday's weekly shower was still a day away. Gus's garlic laced scrambled egg breakfast didn't help either so I understood her misconceptions.
Her nose was wrinkling and twitching uncontrollably so I bumped the desk fan so she was not down wind.
Her name was Edith as she wore a nameplate shaped like a UFO pinned to her chest.
"Nice name Edith, out of this world," I said trying to make some friendly conversation. She had beautiful teeth. I counted all 34 of them.
"How can I help you?" she managed while eying the door.

"I have a appointment with Dr Rosemarie Rosario about my chronic depression" I mumbled, mesmerized by the nameplate pinned to her chest. Just my bad luck that I would have to dribble all over her phone at that moment. It looked like I was slavering after her chest when in fact it was a side effect of the medicine Gus gave me for my moods. Gus is quite an enterprising guy. He often lets me share in his inventions or new medicinal concoctions. Being his best buddy he always lets me sample them first. You couldn't find a more thoughtful sharing buddy if you searched for a month of Fridays. Some times he calls me Friday.

Dr Rosemarie was a doll. Prim and proper in a business pant-type suit covered with a white smock. The heavy rubber gloves looked strange but I gave it no thought.
She steered me away from the couch and offered a stack of bundled printer paper as a seat.

"So what is your problem?" Dr Rosemaie Rosario asked.

"Gus says I'm a worry wort. Just because he does not worry about earthquakes, floods and a pandemic.
In the 1500s European epidemics killed most of the aboriginals. The plague killed one third of the humans in Europe. The worldwide influenza of 1918 killed 30 million, and AIDS had killed more than that.
Now we have genetically-engineered pathogens to boot.
What about Alien aggression? The arrival of extraterrestrials is a worrisome threat to human civilization.

Also there is interplanetary impact danger. The impact on Earth of an asteroid would have a devastating blast, tidal wave, and incendiary effects. It would set back human progress by one or two centuries. What if a small black hole hit the earth? It would effectively destroy the surface of the earth and most or all life on it. Suck our atmosphere down the black hole. Disruption of the Earth's orbit could cause a greenhouse effect like on Venus.

Then I worry about a supernova. Gus says a supernova would have to be within a few tens of light years of Earth for its radiation to endanger us and no stars that close to Earth will go supernova in the next few million years. I worry about when Earth's next ice age arrives in 10,000 years or so, although it will grant welcome relief from the problem of global warming.

The Magnetic Field Reversal is a duzy. Earth's magnetic field reverses polarity every few hundred thousand years. During the next reversal the ozone layer will be unprotected from charged solar particles that will weaken its ability to protect humans from ultraviolet radiation. Skin cancers galore.

I don't want to think about nuclear wars. Full nuclear war would kill hundreds of millions and could trigger a nuclear winter that might starve hundreds of millions more. It would set back human progress by one or two centuries.

Bio-terrorism is scary and worrisome."

" I see" Dr Rosario said as she controlled her rolling eyeballs.
"Here take two aspirin and have a little lie down in a tub of hot soapy water" she prescribed.
"Call back when that ice age arrives."