Istanbul's blog

**Posted:** Sat Dec 02, 2006 10:02 pm

So where is Emmy Lou? She has not called me for over a week. Not that it would have cost her a dime as I gave her a Vonage calling card before she left on her Constantinople vacation. I don't think she could have exhausted it as I had a caveat included when I bought it from Gus Slobomavitch, a Yankee drummer friend of mine. It would only be valid between Istanbul and Constantinople.

Gus worked as a sanitary engineer in Ottawa for many years but is a jack of all trades. I traded him $150 for the phone card. Suggested retail was $25 but according to Gus this one was guaranteed virus free. Apparently with some of these new digital phones a virus can be added to a conversation, something like a Trojan horse.
They attach themselves to regular scuttlebutt and any gossip behind a person's back. This makes sense as there is less chance of that person discovering the virus if it's behind their backs in the first place.

It also had a pop up blocker according to Gus but I asked him to remove it before I would consider the sale.
Hearing Emmy Lou's voice often triggered a "pop up" which could be dangerous when shaving. I use a straight edge razor, not one of those girly Bic shavers.
Also I nearly messed my panties when I first used it. Emmy Lou must have been out as her answering machine kicked in:

"Is this Istanbul or Constantinople?
I like Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night

Every gal in Constantinople
Lives for Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you've a date in Constantinople
She'll be waiting for Istanbul"

Just as I was trying to figure out what she was whispering about I get a text message from Gus. A contact of his - Al-Bar, the Bubul Emir, showed him a picture of Emmy Lou leaving town. Yep she left Constantinople for Constantinople. That is my best guess. In the past she would hurriedly get dressed when he called.