Subsandwich's blog

By Suzanne Berton © 26-Oct-06

It’s morning. Bleary eyed, I plod my way down the hall to use the washroom. With eyes half-closed, or half-opened, I reach for the toilet paper. Empty. RRRR! Someone forgot to replace the empty roll in the bathroom, again!

My home goes through this all the time - the age-old battle of whose job it is to change the toilet paper roll, only I seem to be the only one who cares. Somehow, I got nominated to do this job. Only, no one asked me to volunteer, but for some unexplained reason everyone assumes this is my duty in life. I suppose my home is the one place on the planet that goes through this.

Believe me, I have tried everything to pawn off the job on someone else, but there are no takers. I even decided not to change it every time. I’ll fix them. They’ll have to change the roll because I refuse to do this every day. (We do use a lot of toilet paper). The last person to finish the roll is the one who will have to add a new one was my thinking. Strategy, that’s what is needed here.

Yeah, right! I fixed them all right. My family must be blind because no one, and I mean no one, bothers to stick a new roll on the toilet paper bar. It’s like they can’t see for looking. I mean, it’s right there in front of them. They can see where the new rolls are kept all right, but not the toilet paper bar on the wall.

Next thing I did was ask, “Who forgot to put a new roll of toilet paper!” Dumbfounded looks stared back at me as if to say, “You mean we have a place to put a new toilet paper roll!” Or, they look at me gawk-eyed as if I’ve just arrived from another planet. More to the point, “That’s your job, not mine.”

Nobody asked me if I wanted this job all my life, changing roll after roll day after day anytime the last one is used up. Mechanically, I do this once I see no one is giving in, telling myself if I don’t do this, no one else will. Do other people have conversation about this subject with themselves, I wonder.

In the end, I doubt if I am the only woman whose job in life is to change toilet paper rolls - unendingly. I’ve decided it’s just a toilet paper roll. Suck it up, girl and do it, even if you are sick and tired of doing so. Too bad, there’s no competition for this job; I’d win hands down.

END

Kingston, Ontario
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