Tatt's mind

You know it really sucks when people are sick and there is nothing you can do about it, except to sit back and watch them die. My lifelong close friend is dying, his kidneys have failed and there isnt a donor to be found...it will be his third transplant. It doesnt look good. It sucks though, I would love to give him a kidney but I only have one as well...LOL...wouldnt work out well for me if I did that.

He has a brilliant outlook though about all this. He says he has had a great life, even though he still has a major list to get through. He started that the first time around with kidney failure...he got through quite a bit. One of the big ones is touring Europe, we were supposed to do that together, but I dont know if it will happen. I am planning it anyway, I will go by myself and tour...I said I would finish off his list. Well, the stuff a female can...

But his one recommendation was to make a list of my own...we both know that one day I will be lying there waiting for that transplant...and wouldnt it be a shame if I waited till then to do a list. So I have started my list...I hope I wont have to finish his and mine...I want my best buddy to hang out with me on all our adventures, just like all the good times.

I would like to encourage everyone...make that list and get started on it...You got one shot at this life...well sometimes a couple but they do run out

I don't really know what the hell I was thinking when I said I would be on call for this week. I mean I already work full time and get up at 4:30am, I make good money...its not like I REALLY need it. I can be a bit of a work-aholic, but this is nuts. So I must be insane
It was put to me in a way that it sounded fool proof, a great idea...HAHAHAHA. The deal is I'm on call for the hours i don't work, I get paid for this...COOL!!!! If I get called out, then it is O.T....Even Better!!!! If I get called out my next shift is covered so im not working doubles...WOOHOO!!! This last part, isn't quite like that...in the last 35 hours I have worked 24 hours and i am expecting a call to work the graves and go to my regular shift in the morning...I do this for a week...AHHHHH

I have now realized that when Im sleep deprived, Im quite the anti-social bitch...I wonder if I was always like this or if with age I just need sleep. I don't sleep much anyway...I'm too hyper but I do like down time. I don't remember If I was like this when I was younger and pulling the party life off, but if I was I would like to apologize to everyone who I ran into, lived with, slept with, dated, partied with, strangers and to civilization in general. I must have been hell!!!

In just this little bit of time I have gained insight into just how important chilling out is...and how much of an evil, narcissistic bitch I can be...so for this week I vow to keep my mouth shut, stay away from crowds and just not talk to humans...Cheers everyone, I chat when I am no longer psychotic

I take transit to work, one bus, and skytrain. For some, transit sucks, for me I generally find it relaxing. Driving makes me homicidal on most days, too many fn idiots in front of me. Anyway, i was riding into work on Friday, minding my own business, listening to Black Flag and reading a good book "Shame". When a mutant rider, sitting beside me, talking on his cell phone, drinking out of a thermos, drops the thermos spilling it all over me!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?
Dude cant drink and talk on the phone too? Instead of hanging up the phone, this poster child for abortion, tells whoever is on the other end to hold up. He looks at me and says 'OOPS'....
OOPS?!?!?!? MotherF%&$@r? You just spilled coffee, cream and sugar all over my coat, jeans and boots!!! All you have to say is OOPS?

He really didnt know what to say at this point...all the other riders were mumbling and starting to stare at the broken condom accident. So he went back to talking on the phone and dripping the remaining coffee on the floor of the train. That was the final straw, I ended his call for him. Snapped that little phone shut!!!
Then we had a chat...well I did the talking, at the end of it he handed me 30 bucks for drycleaning and he got his phone back...I should have thrown it off the train

On the way home, I had the pleasure of two teenagers exchanging bodily fluids and having a conversation that sounded more like verbal diarrhea. These two were a prime example that forced sterilization should be looked at seriously. All I could think of was, if these two ever got married, there would be alot of banjo playing and mutual relatives.
I think the girl must have had a digestive issue, every 30 seconds, a loud belch would come out of her mouth. And the...

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Tonight was the orientation for my middle kid at Kwantlen University College. It is one helluva a nice campus in Cloverdale. He is part of a high school program where he will get first year apprenticeship in Masonry as well as finishing his high school courses. The bonus is that the various school districts pay for the kids tuition...Sweeeeet!!!
So, Cam is very excited about this opportunity, he can already see and hear the bling...well according to him...HAHAHAHA

The strange thing about all these kind of gatherings is I'm always the youngest parent...everyone had to put their hand up if this was the first kid going to college...I was one in a few that didn't put it up. A man beside me said 'aren't you going to put your hand up?' I responded with 'I have one that is nearly 21...been there done that college first year thing.' He looked at me very oddly...I have seen that look before...I just tell them...'Yep, I know, I started young, but I'm almost done and I'm still young...HAHA!!!'

It brings me to think that when you hear of a kid having kids, the first thoughts are negative. But, I really don't believe that being a parent that can raise successful kids doesn't come down to age, religion, financial, or education, but it comes down to dedication, sacrifice, and trial and error. It is as simple as they eat first, are clothed first and go to sleep first. Being able to stand back and let the kids make decisions for themselves and if they fail, not to say I told you so, but to say 'Hey you gave it a shot, good on ya!'. I sometimes wonder if it would have been better to have kids when I was secure financially, owned a house, been older, but would I have still been able to remember what life was like as a teenager...probably not.

Just my thoughts...god knows I'm not perfect,...

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