kitty's claws

For more than just a few reasons i have had a rough couple of months. i am not going to whine or complain or ask for sympathy.

i am instead going to thank the many people in my life who have been there for be regardless of my ever changing mood.

my family tends to hover and worry and sometimes i tend to overreact to their helpful suggestions. i am reminded time and again that they are only trying to help and that they do what they do because they love me.

my friends too have been patient with me. i didn't mean to break our plans or to ruin our weekends because sometimes pain happens. They have kept me smiling and making me remember that i am still the same girl who threw up at Wonderland and fell asleep on the car ride home.

my boy has seen me at my best and worst and remarkably, he still loves me. He doesn't care that i complain or that i whine or that i want His sympathy, he gives me everything. He means the world to me.

In order to appreciate how good i feel today, i need to thank those who helped me get here. There are many people people who deserve to know i appreciate them, including my doctors, the nurses, my boss, the girls in the office, and the very kind people at CKA ... you know who you are.



[youtube width=400 height=350:53349fd11b]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESOVrc4K3CQ[/youtube:53349fd11b]

and lets not forget the good food and wine too

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends.
Okay, here's what you're supposed to do, and try not to be a SCROOGE!!!
Just copy this and paste it into a new email that you can send. Change all the answers so that they apply to you.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Gift Wrapping… it’s an art
2. Real tree or Artificial?
Both, I have already decorated 3 trees this year and I still have 2 more to do
3. When do you put up the tree?
Second weekend in December
4. When do you take the tree down?
After January 6
5. Do you like egg nog?
Yes please
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
Roller skates
7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Quite a few … this year we put up the large one
8. Hardest person to buy for?
My sister Nancy, she has everything
9. Easiest person to buy for?
me, i know what i like and i end up buying my own gifts
10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Both
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Re-gifted Group of Seven print … I bought it for him in the first place
12. Favorite Christmas movie?
National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
A couple of weeks before
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
yes
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Walnut stuffed wine soaked figs with honey
16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Both for different trees
17. Favorite Christmas song?
Grown Up Christmas List, Amy Grant
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Stay home
19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Of course
20. Angel on the tree top or star?
Star
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas Eve after midnight.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
People who put no thought into Christmas and just let me do everything for them.
23. Favorite ornament theme or colour?
Pink Victorian Santas
24. Favorite items for Christmas dinner?
Seafood… all of it
25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
Santa aleady knows my true hearts desires

I spent a wonderful night with an even more wonderful man. Pyjamas, socks and hot chocolate with marshmallows… these are the makings of a perfect evening. We cuddled together and talked and told stories about Christmas past. We laughed at some of the crazy things we both have done and smiled at the shared memories of similar experiences.

He asked me about my favourite Christmas present and immediately i thought about my crazy ceramic Christmas Shop that looked like it came right out of Whoville. It’s whimsical and funny with the sign that reads “gift wrap” with a cute little pig. i was not sure why i cried when i thought about it but i did.

i told him about all the trees that i would decorate at Christmas and how much i used to love laying under the tree when it was all done. The room would be dark except for the Christmas tree lights and the Christmas music would play and everything was right in the world… in my world anyways.

Every year, ever since i was a little girl, i bought special Christmas ornaments for my mom and dad and for all my sisters. All their trees show a little token of my love for them throughout the years. When my dad died, my mom gave me all the “dad” ornaments. i put them on my tree and smiled when i saw them mixed in with all of my trimmings. Last year my nephew gave me all of the “sister” ornaments that i gave to his mom so that i could add them to my tree of happy memories.

i did not put up my tree last year. My mom was still too sad and Christmas was just not quite the same. i bought her an ornament anyways. It was a beautiful angel with “Mother” written across the ribbon in her hands. She asked me to save the ornament and to give it to her when she felt a little happier. i understood what she meant so i left it on my dresser in the pretty box that it came in waiting for just that right day. That day never came and my mom passed away and that pretty angel in that pretty box is still on my dresser.

i am still not sure if i will put up my tree this year. i still don’t feel that “spirit” that moves you to find joy in writing hundreds of Christmas cards or to buy and wrap hundreds of gifts. We’ll see.

Finally he asked me, “What do you want for Christmas?” This should have been an easy question. i love pretty things and i could have said anything and he would have got it for me. For the first time in my life, i really don’t want anything for Christmas. All i wanted to say was that i wished that we could stay just how we were at that moment forever and that everything would be right in the world again… in my world anyways.

But forever is a long time.

[align=center:3b00b8fff4][/align:3b00b8fff4]