the flower bed

I love driving in my car. I love long trips and I love the short jaunts. I like to be alone and I like when the car is full to capacity.

But what I love best is when I'm with one or both of my kids.

Driving, especially at night, offers a unique opportunity to discuss things that might otherwise make someone uncomfortable. Because there's no eye contact, the prickly subjects like sex and relationships can be brought up with little to no embarrassment. Anything and everything is a subject to be talked about.

The other night was such a time. We'd been in Squamish for the 50th Anniversary of the Loggers' Sports, and while we were there, we went to a family barbecue with lots of people from the extended family we don't always have a chance to see. Having just returned from our holiday visiting yet more family in Norway, we're pretty much up to date with who's doing what in the family... at least one side of it.

Returning home, my kids asked about marriages. They've started noticing that some are different from others, and they wondered why. We talked about the pros and cons of staying together for the kids, and what happens when those marriages eventually break apart... and why do the kids seem so surprised when they saw it coming from years ahead?

Of course we ended up discussing my own relationship with their Dad... they didn't exactly ask, but I knew where they were headed. I talked to them about the decision and gave them the basics of how we came to the final decision... and how it affects them, both in the short term as well as the long.

Making matters a bit stickier - or easier, depending - is the fact that their Dad is seeing someone. Not the first, but this one seems more serious than the others, and she has a son the same age as they are. They really like her and she seems to like them. The kids all get along too, which is a bonus. We talked about that too - how when you first start dating, it's all about you and what you want. Once you have kids though, things change, and there are other people and things to consider... like do your kids like this new person? Do they like your kids? If they don't, are their reasons valid or are they still clinging to the hope that their parents will get back together?

Turning at the lights into town, they said they thought I should look for a boyfriend... my daughter even requested that I look for someone with a daughter.

Maybe I should.
But I'm not ready to give up my dreams.

Not yet.