my sister Gina is having open heart surgery tomorrow to replace her mitral and aortic valve...


RED






bright enough to blind you...CARROT RED it's called....pink ...pink...pink.....not my first memory...but a strong one....

i was 2 1/2 when she was born....i must of been an IDIOT because i didn't even seem to notice my mum was pregnant....and when my Auntie walked in holding her i thought she was my auntie's new baby....and cooed pleasantly all smiles for everyone....that is until my mum took her....i was confused..and NOT amused by this turn of events



no no no no no......this can't happen...all eyes on the new baby...and the little Shirley Temple look alike began to pull all her tight blond curls in dismay...my pouty face and one teared eye didn't garnish any attention.....pushing...pushing between long legs to get to stage center again....but still no eyes glanced my way



until i reached out and said "MINE"....as if someone wasn't letting me hold MY RUBBER DOLLY !!!



i sat down on the floor and put my chubby hands into my eyes and twisted....and mum knelt down and placed Gina across my lap....she was very cute in that soon to be freckled REDHEAD sort of way

no no no ...don't put your finger in babies eye !!!



when my son Michael was born...his 19mos older brother was just as unhappy as i had been.....so i placed David in Michael's crib....saying "this is your baby brother...he's yours now...you must be very good to him...he's depending on you to protect him"...



and of course that worked...it had been shown to be successful before to assuage sibling rivalry and replacement angst...



i didn't however leave any safety pins around connected together...as when Gina was small and crying for a feeding i had fed them to her thinking it was the perfect snack...LOL...and my mum came in just in time to pull out the long pin string hanging out of her mouth.....and a proper food for baby lesson was learned



oh dear redhead my own...you will do fine....my sweet and loving one....a kiss on your forhead tomorrow as in times of old



when bubbling laughter filled

my heart and made us sisters one

crawl deep beneath the hedge

in castles only we could see

fluttering hummingbirds tasted our nectar

of the Star Jasmine above our heads

and i covered your head with leaves

so no one could see you shining there



except in Autmn when you were

more in tune with crimson's windy bloom

and i wasn't as easily camoflaged

and later when you chose to hide

within you're narrow minds domain

and sometimes none of us could find you



i'd sing that little song of old

come out...come out...

sweet sister... Autumn sprite

i will watch

you're safe tonite

sleep now....let all the voices go

and only hear my own