Tatt's mind

so I got those damn transfusions...now I am sicker than I have ever been. I now have a reaction to the plasma and H1N1 that my Doctor attributed to being in the blood clinic. Like WTF?

I have had to cancel my trip to go surfing...I figure I am too weak for trip overheads (30 foot breaking waves)...I am going to miss out on tubaler. No one misses out on that!!!!

I miss out on so much....I slept through a Canucks game...bullshit. I am pissed off beyond all belief. I have the most fucked up sleep schedule in the world...I sleep when I feel like it, more like pass out...I hate it. I have no energy, my friends want the hyper active me back but I cant do it...my ADHD is apparent but the hyper activity is gone. I hate this shit. My boyfriend and kids are freaked out cuz I aint me....well I am freaked out cuz of it too. They dont know the truth I wont tell them.

So at this point in time....the Docs(ya I have 4 cuz I am anomaly)give me a 30/70...I get the 30, better than the 10 a month ago eh?

So the gist is....I am not taking anymore transfusions, I will fight this on my own. Transfusions just fuck me up and make me worse...sorry to say it, but I would rather be dead than be a zombie loser on my couch.

I dont even think I can go to U2 on wednesday....bullshit right?