Wolf Within

What a sweet sweet little dude this guy was, he never fought with any of the crew and had such a pleasant disposition. H was a total people friendly, loving soul who was timid around the crew so he never fought, but loved to cuddle!
He had a relapse from a couple of weeks ago. He was being kept in my bedroom and I had company over the weekend. Huck was on specialty food and after the weekend was over and my grandson at school, my visitor's daughter was bored and was permitted to be in the room with Huck - my bedroom is where I keep all the cat food so the crew doesn't go stir crazy and he got into the regular food. The little girl didn't know any better and I never thought to tell her cuz he did have food in his cage!
IT took all but 24 hours for him to react, vomitting and peeing blood. He went back to the vet who called me a day later to tell me that Huck had somewhat removed his catheter during the night but was eating and alert. He also said that Huck required having his penis removed and that he would be ok after (another $600.) The option had been discussed the last time Huck was there at the Vets a couple of weeks ago and I discussed it with a galpal of mine who has been a vet tech for 30 yrs - she told me that he would still get infections and because he had one almost right after another (and because of when we first brought him in - in 2003, he'd been fed bloody PEOPLE FOOD!!!! for a week by kids who hid him from mom - he had a kidney failure within 4-5 days of bringing him in - he was all but 3-4 months old) Huck's history would be urinary infections - so in tears I asked the vet to put him down - he wasn't even 4 years old!@!! I was sure he'd be ok! (the vet thinks I can't mentally or financially handle the shelter and stressed that on the phone while I was trying to talk normal but had tears - and I'll be damned he soak me another $600 and expect me NOT to cry when such a beautiful - young little soul like the Huckster - is lost!!!!) I am SOOOO sick of all the negative and nothing good to say!!! The fool WANTS to believe I bashed him a couple of years ago when I'd never met him (and those yahoos who hacked me, couldn't have possibly known that, but they sure knew where to find where the bashing was in fact written, in the middle of a paragraph that was totally irrelevant and way back in my archives where I'd never have looked!), so be it, but give me credit where credit is due and it's not as though I get any financial reductions or physical assistance from anyone in this county! Not even the Vet! So he can think what he wants, he may know how to mend some critters but he doesn't know very much about me! What a thing to say when I was feeling such a loss and worse yet, I had to tell my grandson who had had a blast with Huck and company on the weekend (Huck would literally prance like a horse when he'd see my grandson, he sooo loved him!)- due to all the people who think their opinions count for something, my grandson and daughter were not permitted to have their cats because of all the calls the homeowner received, on account of what I do - you know, the family of freaks who care about animals, might have flooded the house with a ton of animals? ----- so Huckaberry was in my care!

I have never seen so many illnesses and animal abuse as I have since we moved here and such rude behavior towards people who care about animals - farming community or not, it's all been very disrespectful!
And YES, I cry when they DIE! I can handle watching them being operated, the blood and innereds don't bother me, but should they die while being operated, the tears just fall!
I may have a kitten in for a week and it gets sick and off to the vet we go and if that kitten has to be put down, I cry! AND SO?!

I still owed $195 on Huck from the previous bout and I'm afraid to find out how much the recent bill was - then to have added another $600 - there's a Thousand Dollars!!! $1,000.00!!!
Can't handle it mentally or financially - no breaks, no verbal credit, just bashing and bashing since 2001~
People just don't want me to have the shelter and as far as I'm concerned, they don't have the right to make any decisions concerning any career moves I make, let alone the 12-18 hr days I put in and the outrageous billings I get, aren't paid by anyone other than me! (as of late, I have had a couple of gals who helped me with $100 each on the vet bills - thanks again ladies, you have NO idea just how much your help has meant!!!)

I am still seeking a private lender to lend us enough to buy a property and screw em all with their mentality! I have a lender who will lend me half and I called a credit advisor, am trying to get a bank loan to clear up what's left on my credit cards and I still say, there's things on them that I did not buy!@ (i did owe close to $3,000 - add on the interest made it about $4,200 but not $6,400.) And the last time I was at the Vet in Nanton in 2005, I tried passing my card cuz I knew I'd just put $220 on it and it wouldn't go through! I hadn't spent anything so the bad transaction was blamed on my eel skin wallet!
I tried explaining that something was up - but I have sooo been treated like a liar when in fact NO ONE has been able to catch me in any lies, I DO NOT LIE! That really pisses me off too! I always have to defend myself, get someone to back me or prove what I'm saying - no more! I'll do it when the time comes to prove that I was mistreated and disrespected -
And ya know, it's not the animals that are making all the problems, it's bloody people and their attitudes! All the problems that have been created are by people! The animals are friggin awesome!
The people on the other hand are shallow, deceiving and malice - not the animals!
Whatever - right!?
I will find a way to straighten all this out once I can relocate and get my paperwork in order. I will find a way!
I'm not a quitter nor a liar!
My poor Huck, maybe he wasn't in the best of hands afterall. He was generally healthy, he was alert but on both occasions when he was at the Vets, he apparently had the opportunity of removing his own catheter - first time is a mistake, second time is on purpose!
Just one loss after another, in soooo many different ways too.
I need to relocate REAL bad!
chow for now - a warm bed is calling!