Wolf Within

In 1999, I worked on a home is Sunnyside-Hillhurst (Calgary) that needed repairs. It was a contract that lasted 10 months due to the severity of damage that occured to the home. The home was condemned due to the black mold seen in the pic above (it was the bad stuff) and

My meeting today, somehow reminded me of this contract for some reason and I had an echo in my ear from when I brought an elderly friend out to the house last week, one who I had hoped would come out to stay with me to assist with cooking and tending to my grandson - and she loved the house, but..... "noticed" it needed fixing... round these parts... news travels fast and not always in the way that it should. I'm hoping things weren't said out of context and spread around cuz i'd be pretty disappointed in that person that I brought out... for my needs and with my talents, I see beauty in that house and I see a future - not only for me, but for the animals and especially for those who come out and benefit from the programs.
I can't even begin to tell you how it feels, cuz words don't express the "emotion" enuff, when you start off with a child - who draws dark colored pictures of herself, tied up in a closet (hiding in a closet, naked in a closet, crying in the darkness of a closet) and ends up painting pictures with oranges, yellows, reds and cobalt blues of sunsets - a child who had dark evasive eyes that ended up with a twinkle in her eye every time she got love from the animals and hugged for the beautiful pictures she would give as gifts.


The entire situation from 2001 to now, I view as, my cup being half full - not empty - because everything happens for a reason and I realize that what I am gearing towards, is relatively new in Canada - but even more so in Yahoo country! So it's been a rocky road and one that I took on willingly and with open hearted committment - and hey, as we all know, life has it's ups and downs and lessons we learn and I've learned many over the years (i'm not talking about the shelter now - cuz my personal life, is my personal life - here is where I express my sentiments to activities and happenings with the society's goals and the shelter), so dealing with the shelter's issues - have been easier to endure thanks to life's lessons.

There is now an open option to buy the house and because our meeting was with the homeowner and other half, one of which is an Enviromentalist, it was decided that the Health Inspector should come out right away prior to any further decisions made that permit me to live in the "new" house. (i'd also understood that the first agreement - was - that the house get fixed up cuz the price was right and materials would be assisted with, by the owner)
I had stipulated that when the work was moreso "complete" by Spring07, that I'd have to have the Health Inspector in to view the house - prior to being permitted "clients" in the house for stay overs so it would confirm that he work that was wanted done to the house, would be done, cuz I too needed it done to open my door to the "public") Otherwords a committment that the work would be done.
Also because there are animals involved, everything would have to be on the up and up and for my own personal business with people and kids, I'd have to have an inspection, but I guess that after they spoke to their Lawyer concerning the Health Inspector coming in (next year after repairs?), it was decided, that the house was to be inspected immediately..

I am permitted to leave the animals that are there already and to store my stuff that is there for now....till the Health Inspector comes and views the home - saying yeah or neah as to whether or not repairs have to be made prior to residency. I will be there when he comes and so will the homeowner.
I need that house so bad, I am prepared to stay in the Camper until I can enter the house when things get a bit done.
Hey, even winter camping is fine by me, I already know how toasty that camper stays in the winter - it holds the heat very well and is in good shape. I did afterall, use it all last winter.

As someone who "is buying" the home per say, then no matter, I would have the right of choice as to whether or not, I wished to live in a house that is in repairs.

It was agreed that for a purchase agreement, our lawyers would get together and draw up a contract and later I wondered if their property lawyer, was in fact the same as the woman I am returning to court with. There are not that many property lawyers around and if so, there would be a conflict of interest between my lawyer and theirs. I will ask "who" their lawyer is.

Funny, cuz I went today thinking things like I'd have to ask "which dump do we haul our garbage to" - "if they knew where the cap was for the hot water tank so it could be closed off prior to the pump starting back up and doesn't flood" stuff like that ... and now I am anxious (again) because there is an option of purchase, fully understanding that I need some time to clear up my finances and get up on my feet a bit and of course the initial excitement over finally moving, the hold up, the extra work I've put in on top of my daily chores - to move things out there, the extra gas (it's a 70 km round trip each time I go) .

I tell myself that with this deal, I was not the one who initiated it and so I am not sure what the other party(s) was/were told to attain the house and nor was I part of the conversation that occured that initially began the arrangements, but I do know what I was told, what was said to me by the other party and that I need to buy this house to survive or everything I've done to date and I kid you not, I have worked 7 days a week - without one day off in 2.5 years!!! - let alone the additional time spent doing research for the business plan, doing my studies, drafting all the paperwork for the society's bylaws, the applications, my Play, the art program I put on with the kids here, the new agendas for future programs - time sheduels - routines - activity calendar , the investment that has been sunk into all this and the lives of alot of animals - are at stake.

So guess who's going to be on the hustle!????

Meanwhile, with frustrations at the ultimate max, I literally beat on the winnebego! It's been almost 5 months I was trying to get some help at taking the fridge and stove out of the winnebego to make more room, clean it up, remove the linoleum to replace it with new that was donated and to make things better organized, cleaner and nada!
So.... Nothing like being frustrated, dominated, insecure, pissed off and full of piss and vinegar to get a job done
And while I was doing some smashing, ripping and tearing apart, I thought of the movie "Fried Green Tomotatoes" when "she" decided that one of the walls in the house - had to go..... well now the fridge, the stove, the stove fan and the end closet have been beat on, smashed, tugged, cursed at and torn out
Voila - the victims~

Removal of Victim 1 - the stove

Removal of Victim 2 and stove fan

Voila - More Space!

Done!
Well, I at least got something accomplished in the past couple of days!
enuff jibber jabber babble - need a rest.