[homealone]

I have been living in this city, Toronto for a year now and five years in Canada in total. I am an immigrant but I feel different from the norm of my own culture hence I thought I would have been able to find good friends from other cultures or the locals. Because of that, unlike my other countrymen here, I kept a distance from my community.
Results ? I am experiencing the loneliest time of my life. I have *ZERO* friends (male or female). I am an educated, multi dimensional and progressive thinking person. My English, although I do have an accent, is decent compared to many others whose first language is not English. In spite of all of this, I seem to be incapable of establishing my own circle of friends here. This has affected my life in many ways and I think is pushing me to the realms of depression. My work environment is unfortunately not the best place to meet new people. I have tried online dating, for finding some friendship with a possible romance as a bonus, and got utterly disappointed.

When I came to this country five years ago, I was full of energy and excitement. I left behind many friends that I didn't have enough time to catch up with all of them. Now, I am just sadly witnessing that my ever positive outlook towards life is gradually fraying into a vain of cynicism about everything and I can't stop it regardless of how much I try. Sure people are nice and tolerant, they don't offend me, sometimes they give me smiles in which I am losing my faith in their genuineness day by day, but what I really wish they did was talking to me, I'd rather be offended than be ignored.

What should I do ?

[EyeBrock]

You vote Liberal? Just kidding!

[OPP]

Move..? Where are you from, btw?

[homealone]

I dont have the right to vote, I am not a citizen.If I did, I know which party I wouldn't have voted for. The first one in ascending order.

[homealone]

"Move..? Where are you from, btw?"

are you asking the latter question so that you can fill the blank in the former ?

[Heavy_Metal]

The shitty thing about city life is that people are afraid to open themselves up to interpersonal relationships...why? fucked if i know, point is, if you are looking to strike up a relationship with someone walking down the street, it more than likely not going to happen.

Bummer your work environment isn't one that friends are easily made, I personally have made some damn good friends from work (don't mean to rub anything in ).

I suggest clubs...try to find people who share your interests, it'll be easy to relate and form a relationship with....so look at what you like?

reading? look for book club
sports? join a recreational sports club
board games?....i think you get my point.

the internet thing is a fair idea....but me thinks you would do better in face to face interaction, you know build a relationship face to face instead of email to email.

hope this helped a little....look into clubs, I think your efforts will be rewarded....lol keep us updated and good luck!!

[EyeBrock]

Yea, where you from?

[OPP]

homealone homealone:

"Move..? Where are you from, btw?"

are you asking the latter question so that you can fill the blank in the former ?

Ha ha! That's a tad cynical, don't you agree.
I'm from Sweden myself. Was merely curious, that's all.

[homealone]

"Yea, where you from?"

I fail to see how knowing that makes a difference. I am from a country that is not exactly the most popular place in the world right now, and I often get strange looks from people when I answer that question.

[homealone]

"I'm from Sweden myself. Was merely curious, that's all."

I like your country. I have an Olof Palme T-Shirt

[EyeBrock]

homealone homealone:

"Yea, where you from?"

I fail to see how knowing that makes a difference. I am from a country that is not exactly the most popular place in the world right now, and I often get strange looks from people when I answer that question.

Your not Welsh are you!?

[OPP]

Georgia?

[OPP]

homealone homealone:

"I'm from Sweden myself. Was merely curious, that's all."

I like your country. I have an Olof Palme T-Shirt

Cool! Haha! Get your ass over here then! Now that you mentioned Palme I'd go for Greece.. but they're not really impopular.. The U.S? Everyone hates the U.S.

[homealone]

"reading? look for book club"
Tried that. The members were a bunch of ladies in their 50s. When participating in the discussions, I got a feeling that everyone could hardly wait for this 20ish guy to get done exercising his freedom of speech and STFU. Again, everyone was seemingly nice, just didn't engage in conversation with me.

"sports? join a recreational sports club"
Have tried that with a local running club. That was the best and met some people there but again it didn't go anything beyond a chit chat during the runs. Offered some people for drinking beer sometime, got the answer "yeah, sounds good" but never really materialized.

[Yogi]

For starters; QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! Get off your ass and get involved in your community. Volunteer at a homeless shelter, or hospital,seniors lodge, youth group,church group,Rotary,Lions etc. What are your interests? There is some kind of club or group already in existence that focuses on every one of them. When is the last time YOU invited someone to join you in an activity?

FIVE YEARS and you still don't know anyone! I have lived in my community for less than 2 years. Didn't know anyone here at the time I bought. (later found that in fact I did know ONE neighbor from many years ago). I said Hi to everyone I met on the street. Introduced myself, invited them all to 'drop by' (several have) and didn't wait to be asked to do something. Many elderly here. One fellows tin roof was blowing off. I didn't wait to be asked, I went and got my ladder and tools and fixed it. Another had a heart attack. I cleared snow and cut grass until he or his family was able to do it again. Another neighbor was trying to repair her green house. I helped her out. The results; I have folks dropping by with fresh baking just cuz they 'happened to make too much' and didn't want it to go to waste. Another moved to a lodge and was insistant that I should have his antique oak dining table and chairs. The guy who plows the streets in the winter now does my driveway as much as possible with his front-end loader. When I am gone for extended periods of time I come home to see that 'someone' has cut my lawn or tied down things that I didn't before the wind has taken them out to pasture! No shortage of volunteers willing to take in 'Lil Yogi' when he can't go with me. Fresh veggies and lots of home cooked meals because my neighbors show up saying " I know that you have been putting in too many hours to be able to cook proper meals" and " I see you didn't get a garden in this year".
I don't do any of the things I do here in expectation of anything in return. I do it because I live here and I AM PART OF MY COMMUNITY!