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PostPosted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:52 pm
 


BartSimpson wrote:
During the 1973 Yom Kippur War an Israeli observer is spotted spying on the position of an Arab armor formation.

The general in charge orders a platoon of crack soldiers to deal with the pesky Jew.

They don't come back.

He then orders a full brigade assault on the position.

They don't come back, either.

In frustration he orders his whole armored division to assault the wicked Jew's position and to utterly annihilate him!

The next day one bloodied, bedraggled man comes back.

The general is furious! "Report!" he demands!

"Sir, it was an ambush...there were two of them!"


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 7:20 pm
 


People really need to stop plastering my car with all these flyers.

I have no interest in seeing "Parking Violation" at "The Court House".


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 10:30 pm
 


Told a guy our town's motto should be changed to "Murphy's Law Strictly Enforced". He laughed and asked if I'd ever heard of Cole's Law.
When I said no, he replied "It's mostly shredded cabbage...."


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 10:15 am
 


An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other. He says to the waiter: "Me want coffee."
The waiter says, "Sure. Coming right up."
He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, takes a selfie with his cell phone, then turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.
The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter: "Me want coffee."
The waiter says "Whoa! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?"

The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in Trudeau's Liberal government: Come in, drink coffee, get selfie, shoot the bull, leave shit for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 04, 2018 1:29 pm
 


ROTFL ^^

Make him PM, right away.


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2018 6:20 pm
 


Dr. Jones, how could you?

How could I what?

You fucked my goddam sister!

Well I walked into my office and there she was laying naked on the table! What else was I supposed to do?

The autopsy you sick fuck!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2018 7:12 am
 


So, a Republican is on the street, pulls out a gun and shoots himself in the foot.

A guy walking by stops to offer assistance, and the Republican shoots himself in the foot again. He says 'thanks, but I'm ok'. And shoots himself in the foot again.

The good Samaritan asks "Doesn't that hurt?". The Republican says, "Yes, but it drives Democrats crazy!".


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2018 8:25 am
 


DrCaleb wrote:
So, a Republican is on the street, pulls out a gun and shoots himself in the foot.

A guy walking by stops to offer assistance, and the Republican shoots himself in the foot again. He says 'thanks, but I'm ok'. And shoots himself in the foot again.

The good Samaritan asks "Doesn't that hurt?". The Republican says, "Yes, but it drives Democrats crazy!".


ROTFL


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 9:15 am
 


A woman went to the emergency room where she was seen by a young, new doctor.

After about 3 minutes in the examination room the doctor told her she was pregnant.

She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was.

After listening to her story he calmed her down and sat her in another room.

Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" he demanded.

"This woman is 68 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said:

"Does she still have the hiccups?"


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 18, 2018 11:53 am
 


Funny one Bart! :lol:


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