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 Toronto Maple Leafs

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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2014 3:45 pm

Redneck Engineer Exam
Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a
10 pound possum.

Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front
(A) '65 Ford Fairlane
(B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle
(C) '64 Pontiac GTO

If your uncle builds a still which operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of
moonshine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense
the product?

A woodcutter has a chainsaw which operates at 2700 RPM. The density of the pine
trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in
size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweiser’s will be
drunk before all the trees are cut down?

A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock
foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet. The porch
floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many dogs will
be killed?

A man owns a Georgia house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average
slope of 15%. The man has 5 children. Can each of his grown children place a
mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a
secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on
secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a

With a gene pool reduction of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town which has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

I betcha thought that this test was gonna be an easy one, didn't ya? It's okay if
y'all didn't do all that well. Just goes to show ya there's a whole heap of things
that big city book-learning don't prepare ya for in this life.

As an added bonus for taking the "RED NECK CHALLENGE,"
here's some southerly advice that may come in handy down the road a

Next time you are too drunk to drive, walk to the nearest pizza
shop and place an order. When they go to deliver it, catch a ride home with
them. Now that’s smart!!!

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