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PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 5:35 am
 


I play guitar, been playing for about 9 years, I also play a little bass and can play a few beats on the drums


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2005 5:44 am
 


Stellar wrote:
Oh cool!

Have you ever noticed that drummers get picked on? Like why did that drummer ____ ect... It seems that a lot of music jokes are based on drummers. :lol:

I guess you have never heaqrd of Bag pipper jokes huh?? Theres a LOT of those around...

Bagpipes-(noun)-I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig.

-Alfred Hitchcock


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Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.



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Q. What's the definition of a minor second?

A. Two bagpipes playing in unison.



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Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?

A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe.



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Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?

A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.



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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. To get away from the bagpipe recital.



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Q. Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards?

A. So they can park in handicapped zones.



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Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?

A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.



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Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?

A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.



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Q. What's the difference between the Great Highland and Northumbrian bagpipes?

A. The GHB burns longer [but the Northumbrian burns hotter]



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Q. What do you call bagpiper with half a brain?

A. Gifted.



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Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?

A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.



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Q. How many bagpipers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Five, one to handle the bulb and the other four to contemplate how Bill Livingston would have done it.



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Q. How many bagpipers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. 5-one to do it, and four to criticise his fingering style.



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Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?

A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.



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Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?

A. Add vibrato.



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Q. How many bagpipers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Five. One to handle the bulb, the other four to tell him how much better they could have done it.



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Q. What's the definition of a gentleman?

A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.



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Q. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead bagpiper in the road?

A. Skid marks in front of the snake.



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Q. What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?

A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.



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Q. What's the range of a bagpipe?

A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.



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Q. What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A. A bagpiper.



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Q. What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test?

A. Drool.



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Q. What's the definition of a quarter tone?

A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.



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Q. Why are bagpipers fingers like lightning?

A. They rarely strike the same spot twice.



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Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?

A. Someone is blowing into it.



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Q. Why is a bagpipe like a Scud missile?

A. Both are offensive and inaccurate.



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Q. What do bagpipers use for birth control?

A. Their personalities.



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Q. How do you know if a bagpipe band is at your front door?

A. No one knows when to come in.



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Q. Why did the bagpiper get mad at the drummer?

A. He moved a drone and wouldn't tell him which one.



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If you took all the bagpipers in the world and laid them end to end-- it would be a good idea.



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Q. What do you call ten bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean?

A. A start.



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Q. If you drop a bagpipe and a watermelon off a tall building, which will hit the ground first?

A. Who cares?



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Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?

A. To get away from the sound.



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Tom: "Hey, Buddy. How late does the bagpipe band play?"

Buddy: "Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer."



And this is just a small sample


BTW I play Blues harmonica.. Used to play on week ends at the Nash, and the King eddy in Clagary, and in Edmonton at the Blues on Whyte...


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 4:50 am
 


My first post...

I play guitar(6 years). Im pretty decent at it and hope something will come out of it later on in life :) I practice 2-3 hours a day and maybe up too 6 hours on the weekend, if Im feeling it. But I didnt always play this long. For the first 4 years of playing I just learned intros and riffs of some simple rock tunes....Now Im obsessed..
Listen to all sorts of music also, but rock is the majority.

Im also just starting on keyboards. Its comming along....slowly..


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 6:17 am
 


I starting playing Clarinet in middle school, I don't get to play it as often anymore but once in awhile when I get the chance, I play!!

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 7:31 am
 


BlueRoseCallisto wrote:
I starting playing Clarinet in middle school, I don't get to play it as often anymore but once in awhile when I get the chance, I play!!

Image

Reminds me of Benny Goodman and the big bands.. I love he big bands sound


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 12:54 pm
 


Yeah I'd play some of Artie Shaw's music too...I'm open to pretty much everything, my husband's a big Star Wars fan so owning some of John Williams' compositions is must-have :) I do wish schools would require kids to learn an instrument, I think everyone who played an instrument can honestly state it does enrich your life.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 12:29 pm
 


Steller wrote
"Air drums or pretty cool, have you ever played the timpani? Whenever I hear the timpani I get goose bumps! The Timpani is my favourite drum."
_________________

I played timpani :D for about 5 years in Drum Corps with the Edmonton Stutters known back then as the 1st Canadian Regiment I reallly enjoyed playing the tímp :)


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 4:11 pm
 


I play the trombone . I also play the sax but not too good . As for the big band sound I like the music of Glem Miller.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2005 1:48 am
 


I've been playing drums on and off for about 8 years.


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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2005 8:42 am
 


Guitar for almost 5 years now.
I fool around with the bass every other day.


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PostPosted: Thu May 05, 2005 9:16 am
 


I played a white clarinet in school...oohh...I enjoyed it. :)


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PostPosted: Fri May 06, 2005 3:45 pm
 


Trumpeteer here...


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PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2005 6:59 am
 


Played trombone for ten years, up until 2nd year University... unfortunately, the schedule of an engineering student didn't leave much space for me to keep it up at the level I am accustomed to, so I had to drop it. Played in everything from a Dixieland band, to the Nova Scotia Wind Ensemble, to the pit band in our high school's presentation of Jesus Christ Superstar.

I acquired the basic informal piano skills that pretty much every musician develops, and I bought an acoustic guitar a few years ago, to try and make up for ditching the trombone.... I'm learning awfully slowly, though... I went straight to the James Taylor and Joni Mitchell though, so it should be slow.


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PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2005 7:12 am
 


I just started learning to play guitar a few months ago. It's really hard.


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PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2005 7:50 am
 


I have been playin guitar for 12 years. HEre is a pic of the guitar I just bought.

Image

Gibson Explorer, schweet !!


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