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CKA Uber
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:40 pm
 


You know Rant Man, it seems like all you do is piss on everything in Canada like a hihuahua with one kidney.

If Canada is such a communist hellhole, then fuck off back to the US or wherever you're from.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:45 pm
 


Well put Xerxes. Ever notice that when one of these guys disappears, another shows up immediately after? Odd, eh?


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:54 pm
 


Personally I think that Ranting Man is the new incarnation of Karra. He uses the same type of language ("fiberals" and such) and he always goes on about the same things like a broken record in every thread he posts in.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 5:38 pm
 


I kind of quit worrying about who is who. The fact that they have to keep changing their names is a bit of a clue to how they act.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 12:49 pm
 


Rev Blair and Xerxes once again resort to insults when someone dares to challenge the status quo. You are both sad and pathetic esp. you xerxes. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth. Go take your ball and run home like the little pissant wannabe that you are!


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 1:01 pm
 


So who are you really 2cdo? You seem to think you understand what we're talking about, after all. Of course if you really are a newbie, you have no way of knowing that.

So either tell us who you really are or quit trying to speak on subjects you know nothing about.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 1:39 pm
 


The_Ranting_Man The_Ranting_Man:
A land where nothing is as it seems.

Before he arrived in Ottawa this morning, US President Bush was carefully briefed on the many baffling aspects of Canadian politics and culture. The briefing may have gone something like this:

Mr. President, when you land in Ottawa you will be received by the Governor General. You need to remember that the Governor General is neither a governor nor a general and actually has less power than almost any public servant in Ottawa above the office cleaners' level. Her main function is to spend her $19 million a year budget handing out medals and other awards, attending funerals and flying around accumulating tons of frequent flier points.

So right from the start of your visit, you'll learn that things in Canada, especially in politics, are seldom as they are advertised or seem. Other examples include the Employment Insurance program which is actually only for the unemployed and only about 30% of them and the armed forces which are now neither armed nor forceful. And the list goes on.

Don't ask about what Canada is doing to attract more highly skilled immigrants so as to become more productive and therefore more competitive in the global marketplace. This would only bring up the painful issue called Strippergate whereby the Canadian government is fast tracking the importation of foreign strippers into Canada, over 600 of these babes last year alone. This, in turn, might lead to the thought that Canada is the only country in the world which officially and deliberately is in the business of pimping which, by bringing in strippers to enable lonely Canadian men to ejaculate in private rooms in public bars, is precisely what the Canadian government is doing. And this can only lead to a discussion of how pimping ties in with the often advertised moral superiority of our northern friends compared with ourselves. Also, the fastest growing group of immigrants to Canada is now nannies and this, too, is hard to rationalize with a supposedly results-oriented immigration program.

Don't ask about who is the greatest Canadian of all time because they have just had a national vote on the subject and it will be another area of extreme embarrassment. You see, the father of the country John A. Macdonald finished well back in 6th or 7th place and such great men as Sir Wilfred Laurier, John Kenneth Galbraith and Pierre Berton didn't even make the top ten, finishing behind a kid who once ran across the country, a loud mouthed hockey commentator with louder clothes, and others too minor to mention. The winner was an obscure third party politician who had also been governor of one of their smallest states, a Mr. Douglas. I know, you're thinking this would be like choosing Ralph Nader or Ross Perot as the greatest American of all time. So keep quiet on this one, Mr. President.

Now at your dinner tonight over in Hull at the Museum of Civilization, not far from some great peeler bars with those foreign strippers we spoke about, you have to make some face time with another obscure third party politician, this one who wants to break up the Canada by taking away about one third of its territory and 25% of its people right out of the middle of it. Yes, I know, American Presidents don't make face time with national traitors in the US but this is Canada and it has already been arranged. Just try not to act surprised when you meet him, even if he's wearing his famous hairnet. When in Rome, as the saying goes.

Finally, Sir, when you visit Halifax do not ask to tour the two naval bases there with their submarines and helicopters. The Canadian government is trying to seal the leaks concerning the submarines, the leaks to the media, and don't want any attention drawn to them at this time. It seems that the submarines don't always go down and the helicopters don't always stay up. So if you do see them, try not to look surprised.

Always remember, Mr. President, that Canadians are a pretty smug, complacent and placid lot, not easily stirred or passionate about anything except three things in recent years: the time that Rogers Cable tried through negative marketing to sneak another buck or two a month onto their cable TV bills; the time when the CBC cancelled Coronation Street on Sunday mornings for three weeks to pre-empt them with the Olympics; and now the hockey lock out. And even these three things didn't arouse that much passion.

To sum up, President Bush, remember when speaking with your political hosts to keep the target small by saying as little as possible. Candor may be your forte but it is suicide in Canadian politics. So break a moose or skin a beaver or whatever they say up there meaning good luck.





Funny satire, but painful reality is within...

Good one rant... :D


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