[Yogi]

Just had to share this one!


For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

'If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics.

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.


7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

PS - I 'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!!!

[PublicAnimalNo9]

Tres amusing

[DanSC]

Quote:

You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

[RUEZ]

A friend of mine bought a Ford Focus in 2008. Right about now she gets more use and more enjoyment from her Windows computer.

[DanSC]

I'm driving a rental 2012 Ford Focus, base model, for work right now, and for what it is, I love it. It even sounds good. I'm attributing this to the new Focus being a European car.

[BartSimpson]

Yogi wrote:

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

That's long been one of my pet projects. Every year I pester a number of people in Congress and in InfraGard to get a law passed to allow computer and software makers to standardize terms and processes the same way auto manufacturers have been allowed to standardize things like steering wheels, brake pedals, accelerator pedals, and etc.

[DanSC]

BartSimpson wrote:

That's long been one of my pet projects. Every year I pester a number of people in Congress and in InfraGard to get a law passed to allow computer and software makers to standardize terms and processes the same way auto manufacturers have been allowed to standardize things like steering wheels, brake pedals, accelerator pedals, and etc.

I can think of one good reason that will never happen.

[Tricks]

Terrible joke.

Yogi wrote:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.

Learn to take care of your computer Ford, maybe then you'd have more time to develop cars that aren't pieces of shit.

Quote:

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

That doesn't even make sense. I assume it's because new technology makes old ones obsolete. Wouldn't a better comparison be that every time a new engine is made you have to buy a new car? Newsflash, that's already sort of what happens. Most people I know have a car for 3 or 4 years, trade it, get something new. Same for a computer.

Quote:

3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this

Read number 1. This is also implying cars don't break down apparently, and as we all know of domestic vehicles, that's completely false.

Quote:

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

Look above.

Quote:

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

Further proving lack of knowledge. Macs aren't more reliable, aren't five times as fast, and aren't twice as easy to drive. Infact, buying a mac is like buying a lexus and getting a toyota. Same shit for twice the price and a little flare.

Quote:

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

I get it! It's a control alt delete joke!

Quote:

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

If someone finds they need to relearn how to use a computer when a new version of an OS comes out, I question how they made it out of grade school.

Fail.

[Yogi]

Tricks wrote:

Terrible joke.

Yogi wrote:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash.........Twice a day.

Learn to take care of your computer Ford, maybe then you'd have more time to develop cars that aren't pieces of shit.

Quote:

2.. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

That doesn't even make sense. I assume it's because new technology makes old ones obsolete. Wouldn't a better comparison be that every time a new engine is made you have to buy a new car? Newsflash, that's already sort of what happens. Most people I know have a car for 3 or 4 years, trade it, get something new. Same for a computer.

Quote:

3... Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this

Read number 1. This is also implying cars don't break down apparently, and as we all know of domestic vehicles, that's completely false.

Quote:

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

Look above.

Quote:

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

Further proving lack of knowledge. Macs aren't more reliable, aren't five times as fast, and aren't twice as easy to drive. Infact, buying a mac is like buying a lexus and getting a toyota. Same shit for twice the price and a little flare.

Quote:

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

I get it! It's a control alt delete joke!

Quote:

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

If someone finds they need to relearn how to use a computer when a new version of an OS comes out, I question how they made it out of grade school.

Fail.

[DanSC]

Tricks wrote:

Learn to take care of your computer Ford, maybe then you'd have more time to develop cars that aren't pieces of shit.

Blasphemy!

[BartSimpson]

This is in reply to Dan's post with the pictures of some decent Ford cars...

[DanSC]

Even Lancia had the Beta and Ferrari the 512.

[Tricks]

4 examples stretching over 40 years. Not a good track record. One of which is a race car. Is the RS even available in North America?

Edit, 6 stretching over 50.

I'll also note, not many from the last 20 years either. Face it, domestic companies shit the bed for the past 20 years, and aside from a few well done performance cars, they've failed miserably. Gates was right. They became stagnant thinking that they'd always have the market share while Japan and Europe advanced.

[OnTheIce]

Tricks wrote:

4 examples stretching over 40 years. Not a good track record. One of which is a race car. Is the RS even available in North America?

Even though I work for the competition, Ford is making some great cars and has made some great cars over the years.

Their trucks are awesome add to that the new Edge, which is arguably the best looking cross over on the market. The Mustang is miles ahead of the competition (Camaro and Challenger)....they're doing very well.

[Tricks]

OnTheIce wrote:

Tricks wrote:

4 examples stretching over 40 years. Not a good track record. One of which is a race car. Is the RS even available in North America?

Even though I work for the competition, Ford is making some great cars and has made some great cars over the years.

Their trucks are awesome add to that the new Edge, which is arguably the best looking cross over on the market. The Mustang is miles ahead of the competition (Camaro and Challenger)....they're doing very well.

They have made some excellent cars, but virtually every manufacturer has. Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Their trucks are fantastic, that's one thing Ford knows and knows well.

The Mustang is ahead of the domestic competition, but foreign competition is another matter. It's a beauty of a car no doubt though.