[maldonsfecht]

Brenda Brenda:

maldonsfecht maldonsfecht:

they're not married

yet

marriage should be a very serious matter in my opinion, and far too often divorces come about for reasons far less serious than this and could be overcome. But I believe physical/mental abuse supercedes the "to death do us part" part of the vows. It certainly is something that could be used to have a marriage anulled (I'm Catholic).

[Tricks]

Yogi Yogi:

I completeley understand your consternation over the fact that it seems that people are making a big fuss because she is a celebrity Tricks. In most regards I feel the same way about celebities. This particular situation is different in that a lot of young women who are in similar domestic situations are also watching Rhianna closely. The thinking in general is that if she had stood up to this POS and said NEVER AGAIN ASSHOLE, a lot of other women in abusive relationships would have followed suit. Unfortunately, they will now be more inclined to stay with their abusers!

I agree. I wouldn't mind so much if they used this opportunity to make light of the situation that many girls are in.

[DerbyX]

Brenda Brenda:

maldonsfecht maldonsfecht:

they're not married

yet

I just don't understand this at all. A former friend whom I met at UW eventually got involved with an abuser.

She lamented to me all the time about her troubles but when I enlisted a few friends to help her out and explain to him what he was doing was wrong all I got was her screaming at me about the damage I did to her life and a destroyed friendship.

It solved nothing. I just never understood the psychology behind spousal abuse.

[Yogi]

DerbyX DerbyX:

Brenda Brenda:

maldonsfecht maldonsfecht:

they're not married

yet

I just don't understand this at all. A former friend whom I met at UW eventually got involved with an abuser.

She lamented to me all the time about her troubles but when I enlisted a few friends to help her out and explain to him what he was doing was wrong all I got was her screaming at me about the damage I did to her life and a destroyed friendship.

It solved nothing. I just never understood the psychology behind spousal abuse.

You can not help people who don't want to be helped. Best thing you can do now is 'sit back quietly' and wait for her to come to you. Waiting and being willing. That will be the true test!

[maldonsfecht]

DerbyX DerbyX:

Brenda Brenda:

maldonsfecht maldonsfecht:

they're not married

yet

I just don't understand this at all. A former friend whom I met at UW eventually got involved with an abuser.

She lamented to me all the time about her troubles but when I enlisted a few friends to help her out and explain to him what he was doing was wrong all I got was her screaming at me about the damage I did to her life and a destroyed friendship.

It solved nothing. I just never understood the psychology behind spousal abuse.

the ultimate decision to leave definitely has to come from within, although support from their friends and family is necessary.

I was involved with a woman who'd been abused, and still years afterward she was having great difficulty in coming to terms with her past and dealing with the fact that she still saw this man passing on the streets now and again...

horrible... and the ones who care the most for the abused have a helpless feeling that is excruciating

[maldonsfecht]

Tricks Tricks:

Yogi Yogi:

I completeley understand your consternation over the fact that it seems that people are making a big fuss because she is a celebrity Tricks. In most regards I feel the same way about celebities. This particular situation is different in that a lot of young women who are in similar domestic situations are also watching Rhianna closely. The thinking in general is that if she had stood up to this POS and said NEVER AGAIN ASSHOLE, a lot of other women in abusive relationships would have followed suit. Unfortunately, they will now be more inclined to stay with their abusers!

I agree. I wouldn't mind so much if they used this opportunity to make light of the situation that many girls are in.

I know what you mean... (I assume you mean "if they used this opportunity to BRING TO LIGHT the situation than many girls are involved in")

[Brenda]

Its not easy to say "never again" when you are mentally dependent (or at least you think you are) to an asshole like that. They make you that first (of course you let them, but you won't see that till its long over...), and basicly own you.

It takes a lot of guts and willpower to get out of an abusive relationship. And you yourself are the only one that can do it. No one will ever be able to tell you what is going on, because you just won't accept it, even when you know they are right.
Bad comparisan, but... Its like quitting smoking... You can only do it if you seriously really believe you can and are going to... But only when you are ready...

[Tricks]

maldonsfecht maldonsfecht:

Tricks Tricks:

Yogi Yogi:

I completeley understand your consternation over the fact that it seems that people are making a big fuss because she is a celebrity Tricks. In most regards I feel the same way about celebities. This particular situation is different in that a lot of young women who are in similar domestic situations are also watching Rhianna closely. The thinking in general is that if she had stood up to this POS and said NEVER AGAIN ASSHOLE, a lot of other women in abusive relationships would have followed suit. Unfortunately, they will now be more inclined to stay with their abusers!

I agree. I wouldn't mind so much if they used this opportunity to make light of the situation that many girls are in.

I know what you mean... (I assume you mean "if they used this opportunity to BRING TO LIGHT the situation than many girls are involved in")

Yeah, sorry, long day.

[DrJones]

Brenda Brenda:

Its not easy to say "never again" when you are mentally dependent (or at least you think you are) to an asshole like that. They make you that first (of course you let them, but you won't see that till its long over...), and basicly own you.

It takes a lot of guts and willpower to get out of an abusive relationship. And you yourself are the only one that can do it. No one will ever be able to tell you what is going on, because you just won't accept it, even when you know they are right.
Bad comparisan, but... Its like quitting smoking... You can only do it if you seriously really believe you can and are going to... But only when you are ready...

I completely agree. It scares me though that if we don't intervene and really try to force these people apart then the women are often abused again and again.

I have personally been involved in criminal cases of domestic violence where the first time the guy gets the proverbial slap on the wrist, takes some counselling, and we assume it'll be ok. Then they're back, and it's worse. But she still keeps him. Sometimes kids are abused or witness the abuse. It's horrible.

In rare cases, a homicide later follows (usually him killing her.)

I don't know the answer, but how do we make sure the women "are ready"... left to their own, they just stay with him. Even a rich woman like Rihanna with access to incredible resources (presumably.)

[Brenda]

DrJones DrJones:

Brenda Brenda:

Its not easy to say "never again" when you are mentally dependent (or at least you think you are) to an asshole like that. They make you that first (of course you let them, but you won't see that till its long over...), and basicly own you.

It takes a lot of guts and willpower to get out of an abusive relationship. And you yourself are the only one that can do it. No one will ever be able to tell you what is going on, because you just won't accept it, even when you know they are right.
Bad comparisan, but... Its like quitting smoking... You can only do it if you seriously really believe you can and are going to... But only when you are ready...

I completely agree. It scares me though that if we don't intervene and really try to force these people apart then the women are often abused again and again.

I have personally been involved in criminal cases of domestic violence where the first time the guy gets the proverbial slap on the wrist, takes some counselling, and we assume it'll be ok. Then they're back, and it's worse. But she still keeps him. Sometimes kids are abused or witness the abuse. It's horrible.

In rare cases, a homicide later follows (usually him killing her.)

I don't know the answer, but how do we make sure the women "are ready"... left to their own, they just stay with him. Even a rich woman like Rihanna with access to incredible resources (presumably.)

We can't make sure the women are ready. They can only do that themselves... I have been in an abusive relationship, and I took him back.
What they forget is that life without them is way better than with them. But before you realize that, AND have enough guts to take the step... Can take years... Most women have nowhere to go. They are alienated from their friends (or alienated themselves), have no money, and completely lost themselves...

[dredscott]

Linen!!! I told that girl to stick with her own WEst Indian guys. Those Americans are too damn not classy. She should take a hint from Whitney Houston with Bobby Brown, and also the late James Brown. They are women abusers. Stay away from any American male with the last name 'BROWN'.

[Brenda]

You're weird...

[Yogi]

Brenda Brenda:

You're weird...

I'm already starting to 'dread scott'!

[dredscott]

I like that, yogi stick man.

[Dudeman320]

i want to know what Rihanna did to get Chris to hit her, i think that she is too innocent. nobody would hit rihanna for no reason, think aobut it, She could have kicked him in the nuts and if he hit her, then its all his fault, its the way the U.S. media works