Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:51 pm
How to Avoid a Lengthy Jail Term for a Minor Traffic Offence
Avoid eye contact with your persecutor at all times, this is a must to avoid unwanted giggles, a respectful countenance should suffice, we are not in Russia.
The Practice of self-abuse, though an erstwhile pastime for teenage boys and lonely computer programmers, is not acceptable in a court of law, it can and almost certainly will, guarantee a lengthy spell behind bars. That being said, it should propel one into the legend category, which can be nice.
Be respectful, no matter how innocent you presume yourself to be, the holders of the "Scales of Justice" do not share your view, announcing your innocence in an unruly fashion is nearly as dangerous as public self-manipulation.
Finally, do not, under any circumstances, enquire into the judges private life, the presence of a father in his noble life, is entirely his own business and can offer no mitigating circumstances regarding your present situation.
Above all, stay resolute and cheerful, it probably wont be as bad as you think it might be, though for the unfortunate Sidney, my beloved uncle, it was undoubtedly worse.
Dont try to emulate Sid, Sid was born great and deserves his legendary status, when he is once again amongst us, the sun shall shine again and laughter and joy will fill our daily lives..Respect to Sid, you earned it bad boy.
CKA Uber 
