[Needyou527]

I can't talk to girls anymore because I always say something silly that just spoils everything. I'm 20 years old and I've never had a proper girlfriend before, it's terrible! Why is there never anything to say? It just feels so weird going up to a random girl and introducing yourself - because they can tell that you are interested in them by the approach and they tend to judge you on the spot, before you can even start to ask questions about them. Then they start making excuses to get away from you instead of actually listening to what you have to say, how shallow can you possibly get? Then sometimes when you try and add them on Facebook, they won't accept you even though they have hundreds of people on their list anyway! I know that I'm not the only guy who gets treated this way but I really don't understand what I do wrong. I've been told I'm good looking from various people and I'm really nice to be around with, although I'm more independent and don't always want to be around people. Anyway thanks for reading.

[Mazerini]

Your young and you shouldn't be worried getting tied down to a girlfriend. You need to just get out there and have fun first! Get pissed! Haha. When your out in a club don't make it your mission to pull girls and just enjoy yourself you might find that girls pick up on this! You need to get in there with some banter and maybe buy them a drink when the conversation gets going. If you approach them without breaking the ice then it is abit weird. As for facebook and if they ignore you then its not worth knowing them!

[GreenTiger]

I entirely agree. The first thing is to be comfortable with yourself, don't get or worse appear dispirit.

Enjoy life and be seen as confident in your self, that by itself may attract women also you may be looking for women in the wrong places.

[Brenda]

Maybe girls are smarter than the average bear. Stop telling people bullshit and it might all become a lot easier. We do not like pathological liars.

[dino_bobba_renno]

Needyou527, Dr. Dino here. I will share with you the single most important tip to keep in mind when trying to pick up chicks:

When stuffing your underwear all ways remember that the sock goes in the front

[BeaverFever]

Most importantly, you need to have confidence. The best meetings take place when two people get into a passing conversation with eachother, end up talking with eachother longer than expected and before parting, decide they'd like to talk to eachother again sometime. You need to go into the whole thing with the attitude that regardless of how the conversation goes, you'll have a great night either way. If youre secretly saying to yourself "Oh please god, let this work out for me!" then youv'e alreadey lost before you've begun.

When it comes to approaching women, I learned when I was your age that just walking up cold and blind-siding an unsuspecting woman with a pick-up line isn't very productive. Its ten time easier if you make eye contact with her from a distance first. You need to use some judgment and make sure she's receptive and that its not just accidental eye contact or shes not just looking at you because youre creeping her out with staring. Just flash her a quick smile, if you get one back, turn away for a while, don't run right over like a moron. If it looks like she's interested, AFTER A SHORT WHILE, go over and just say hi. Don't creep her out by looking over at her every ten seconds, and don't let it go on all night either...if you think it looks promising, you should find a way over there and talk to her before somebody else does.

But use judgement and make sure its socially appropriate to approach her. If it looks like she's with her parents or busy talking with a bunch of friends, you should probably wait until youre both at the bar or on the dancefloor or something and not crash in on her little gathering. Don't use any cheezy lines, just a simple "hi" is fine.

1) Don't kiss her ass. No need to tell a girl you've just met that shes attractive (if she is really attractive, she probably knows it already). And don't fawn all over her like she's the first female to ever give you any attention. Don't just agree with everything she says and pretend to like everything she likes, feel free to take an opposing viewpoint, but keep it short and don't get stuck in an argument. If she finds you attractive and she's not sure whether you're interested in her or not, it'll probably only increase her curiosity and interest in you. Depending on the circumstances, it's probably obvious that you find her attractive, from the simple fact that you're talking to her.

2) Don't tell her your whole life story. Most women like a little mystery and like to "figure a guy out" for themselves over a few dates. Just provide enough details so she understands that you're not a creep or a deadbeat, and maybe an interesting BRIEF tidbit about an interesting experience or hobby. If your experience is something boring like stamp-collecting, you might want to keep it to yourself. But if you're a sky-diving instructor, volunteer at the animal shelter, or once got bitten by a shark, that might be worth a mention if you can slip it in to the conversation gracefully...but again, keep it brief and don't be clumsy about it. In those crucial first few conversations and weeks of meeting someone, the sooner she figures you out, the more likely it is she'll become bored. Women like to talk about themselves, so keep throwing the conversation back to her. Show that you have a personality, but don't reveal so much about yourself that she feels like theres nothing more to learn about you.

3) Don't go too far on points 1 and 2 above and act like an asshole because most women hate that too. Don't pretend like you're Captain Awesome at Everything and have no flaws either. Most women have a pretty good bullshit detector and can spot a phoney a mile away. DO NOT fabricate stories and tell lies about yourself. If anything, a little self-deprecating humour about a minor flaw of yours will show that you have self-confidence and you're comfortable with who you are. Be modest, but don't humble yourself.

4) Be funny but not too funny or you'll clown yourself right into the dreaded "friend zone". One or 2 good lines should do it, but putting too much effort into making other people laugh is often seen as "approval-seeking behaviour" and it makes you look desparate. Everyone loves a clown, but nobody wants to sleep with him.

5) It's also not enough to just be good-looking. You need to have good personal hygene and some sense of personal style. I'm not saying you need to get a radical haircut and wear some ridiculously funky-trendy outfit, but take a good look at your haircut and the clothes you wear and ask "what does this say about me?" If it says "these were in the half-price bin at Winners" then you've got an image problem. Dress apprpriate to your lifestyle and social scene and make sure what you buy fits you the way it was meant to and make sure that you're comfortable and confident wearing it. Are you a hipster or a prep? Do you hang out at dance clubs or neighbourhood pubs? This is where female friends come in handy, they're good at helping you pick out clothes and sense of style that works for you.

Lastly, don't let rejection get you down and don't live in fear of some worst-case humilitation scenario. Most girls who are not interested will be nice about it and will politely excuse themseles from the conversation by saying the have to go find their friends or the bathroom or whatever. Just say "ok see you around" and let them go, don't ask for promises that they'll come back. If she actually DOES have to go somewhere and is interested in you, she'll let you know. It's pretty rare that one is actually mean and rude about it, and those are usually the girls who are themselves insecure and are being mean just to feel better about themselves. That said, have realistic expecatations about what kind of girl you can get. If it's ridiculously obvious that the girl is WAAAY out of your leage, you'll look like you're completely clueless if you try to pick her up, and you're more likely to have an unpleasant experience.

[Regina]

BeaverFever BeaverFever:

1) Don't kiss her ass.

No?? I always figured once you've kissed her ass..............you were half way there.

[raydan]

If you have a cell phone with a camera, here's something you could try...

[dino_bobba_renno]

Regina Regina:

BeaverFever BeaverFever:

1) Don't kiss her ass.

No?? I always figured once you've kissed her ass..............you were half way there.

Terrible , not to mention I heard they kind like the tongue the bung thing. (I can see this thread spinning way out of control )

Yes, my young padawan, you are now on your way to mastering your sexual force.

[Brenda]

dino_bobba_renno dino_bobba_renno:

Yes, my young padawan, you are now on your way to master(bat)ing your sexual force.

fixed

[dino_bobba_renno]

Brenda Brenda:

dino_bobba_renno dino_bobba_renno:

Yes, my young padawan, you are now on your way to master(bat)ing your sexual force.

fixed

Hey, he bought the soap and it's his body, he can wash it as fast as he wants

[xerxes]

In my experience (admittedly somewhat limited) being nice, treating women with repsect, not acting like they're a sex toy. Those are all the wrong thing to do. Threading them like crap, being selfish, those work great.

I say this becuase I've tried being repectful and non-douchebaggy and what has it gotten me? It's got me in the friend zone and alone. I also say the above becuse the second last girl I dated broke it off because she found a guy who mooched off her and stole from her. And because of my last girlfriend who left me for a model and ending up being his "other" girlfriend who he treating like shit. And she was ok with it.

Oh, and that's another thing. Be good looking. I'm not and I'm alone. The guy who My last girl left me for was gorgeous and an asshole and the former trumped the latter. So the better looking you are the bigger the asshole you can be and the more girls you can get.

[Choban]

Meh, It'll happen, most likely when you least expect it.
I'd say use your friends to hook you up, or if you know any girls as just friends see if any of them are interested in dating you.

[dino_bobba_renno]

xerxes xerxes:

In my experience (admittedly somewhat limited) being nice, treating women with repsect, not acting like they're a sex toy. Those are all the wrong thing to do. Threading them like crap, being selfish, those work great.

I say this becuase I've tried being repectful and non-douchebaggy and what has it gotten me? It's got me in the friend zone and alone. I also say the above becuse the second last girl I dated broke it off because she found a guy who mooched off her and stole from her. And because of my last girlfriend who left me for a model and ending up being his "other" girlfriend who he treating like shit. And she was ok with it.

Oh, and that's another thing. Be good looking. I'm not and I'm alone. The guy who My last girl left me for was gorgeous and an asshole and the former trumped the latter. So the better looking you are the bigger the asshole you can be and the more girls you can get.

I think age plays a factor there. Women tend to like the "bad boy" thing when they're younger, as they get older and begin thinking of settling down they migrate back to the nice guys.

I think one thing that would be safe to say here is that you have to take any advise with a grain of salt. Every woman out there is as unique onto themselves as the next. The minute you think you have all women figured out is the day you've got it wrong. Some like nice guys, some like bad boys, some like girls

Be yourself, don't try so hard. Try to get to know them, don't talk about yourself so much, ask them about what they like, listen to them, dress nicely, get a hair cut, brush your damn teeth. Pretty straight forward stuff.

One thing I can tell you is that you normally find someone when your least expecting it.

[Brenda]

Not to be a bitch or something, but I take ANYONE who makes 4 posts on a forum, and all 4 contradict each other, with a grain of salt.

I'm surprised all of you got into this bs so seriously.