Thanos Thanos:
Never diss the pipes. They've got too long a history of literally scaring the crap out of all sorts of pommies, sassenachs, frogs, wogs, blackamoors, and krauts all over the world.
I used to be in a Celtic band remember. I played many Highland Festivals. One of them had a thoozand peepers, I mean a thousand pipers. I heard the bagpipe drone in my head for a full three days after that one.
Playing so many Scottish festivals gave me time to wonder why the Scots were such a singularly ugly people. Then it struck me that my northern English ancestors would probably run up and carry off all the pretty ones routinely, and, by Darwinian selection, over unntold generations the English became a world dominating, brilliant, beautiful people while the Scots were ugly bagpipe-playing alcoholic sheep buggerers. No offence.