[canucker]

Anything you want....


A pig stuck in a gate is not a pretty site from either end.

[Hester]

oooh oooh

Did you ever hear about the ship that sailed from Hong Kong loaded with yoyos?

It sank 162 times.

[canucker]

LOL


Jalapeno peppers are bad and wrong and should not be eaten in excessive quantities.

[Hester]

The best advice my father ever gave me, "No matter where you go, there you are."

[The Hoser]

When in doubt, play dead.

[Hester]

In Algebra, Calculus, Geo-Trig: When in doubt X = 3

(I got 37 in Calculus 210 the first time around, thanks to this corollary)

[The Hoser]

Never trust a naked bus driver.

[lyonhart]

Women, you can't live with them and they can't pee standing up.

[Hester]

Why not? You might wanna know where he's going. Think of all the fun places he might take ya?

[canucker]

Athletes foot originated not in Greece as is commonly thought, but in a small blacksmiths shop in Gretna Green, Scotland.

[lyonhart]

During the 17th century colonists from all over Europe, in particular, England came to America to start a new life. Among them were workers that had skills and abilities that made them welcome in the colonial villages. The first blacksmiths to come to America were the armourers of the ships of the first colonists.

[canucker]

Pregnant Chinese women suffer from a condition that expands their noses to three times normal size, which happily returns to normal size following the birth of their children.

[canucker]

All helicopter blades spin ant-clockwise, that is, apart from the French made Eurocopter machines, they spin clockwise just because they can.

[Hester]

Crocodiles cant walk backwards

[Hester]

Alaska is the only state without a motto

(I recommend "The I can't feel my feet anymore state"
or
"The snot has frozen in my nose state"