[Yogi]

I already got soo much muney thru these emails that I think it is only fair, right & proper of me to share with all my good frendz on CKA so here ya go. But ya better not waste no time. I just can't imagine all this $$$ sitting 'there' ( where ever 'there' is) for too long.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am Mr. Peterson David, Marketing Director, Fidelity International, Uk. I am contacting you in respect to a portfolio amounting to $15,000,000.00 USD deposited by a wealthy business tycoon, Mr. Alan Williams who died in a plane crash in Tanzania with his entire family.

Please visit the below website for details:

http://www.telgraph.co.uk/news/worldnew ... lane-crash .htl

Mr. Alan Williams has since passed away. Unfortunately, the supposed next of kin, his wife was also killed in the crash. His investment is still under my control, unsuspecious and unnoticed. No one will ever lay claim to the funds he invested with us.

I will like to seek your permission as a partner to stand as the next of kin to Mr. Williams, so that we can secure this money into our hands. The money will be paid into your account for us to share in the ratio of 70% for me and 30%.

There is no risk as all the paperwork for this project will be done by an attorney whom we shall appoint and with my position all material documents and certificates relating to the securing of the funds shall me obtained.

Upon your response, I shall then provide you with further information and modalities that will help you understand the transaction.

You should observe utmost confidentiality and be rest assured that this project would be most profitable for both parties because I shall require your assistance to invest my share in your country.

Awaiting your urgent reply.

Regards.
Mr.Peterson David.
http://www.theresasuckerborneveryminute.co.uk

[Public_Domain]

If I got 10 million dollars I'd probably still eat Mr. Noodles and cheap pizza everyday

[Regina]

I'll them a call after I get back from the free trip I just won for answering the phone.

[Yogi]

What the hell. I'm going to send this goof a reply. See wut the 'next step' in claiming this moolah is. Hopefully, my puter don't end up with a gawdamned virus!

I'll give him some time to get back to me while I go into town and use some of my previous windfalls to purchase more macaroni & dogfood.

[Thanos]

I wonder if the feelings of the Prince Of Tanzania would be hurt if he was suddenly bombarded with thousands and thousands of e-mails of The Goatman? Anonymous/4Chan, please make this happen.

[Yogi]

OK. So here's a copy of the letter that I just sent to my would-be benefactor. Gonna be interesting to see if he replys. It'll be a while cuz I really do have to trip into Vegreville. Later.

My Dearest Mr. David,
Firstly, I would like to extend to you and your family my undying, and everlasting gratitude for considering me, and my family for such a generous gift. It could not have come at a better time as I/we have been experiencing an incredible run of bad luck.
Half of my oil wells have stopped producing, and still I must pay our governemnt full taxes as though they were still pumping out 700 barrels of crude per day. A clause in the contract that everyone in Alberta must sign. This ensures that the government doesn't have to cut back on their budgets for our First Nations People. If not for this very fact I would be sorely tempted to just pack up my family and megre possessions and go live in my ocean -front mansion in California. Alas, I did have to rent my villa out to Mr. Ahnold Schwazreneger as was his right to demand as the outgoing Governator of California. Three times in five months his rent cheques have come back NSF. Also, I am getting complaints from the neighbors as the lazy bugger hasn't even cut the lawn. Not once!
Due to my financial woes I have been forced to downgrade to a Cadillac Escalade. You have no idea how embarrasing this is to me as I see all of my friends driving past in their brand new Mecedes Benzes', Hummers, and Harley Davidson motorcycles. I will not bore you further with other trivial details of my precarious financial situation. Suffice to say, you're offer could not have come at a better time and I eagerly await your reply.

Sincerely,
Theresa Spence

[DrCaleb]

Yogi wrote:

Sincerely,
Theresa Spence

[sandorski]

Ahh yes, I received a similar Letter(Snail mail), twice.

It was from Spain, allegedly a Lawyer looking to offload an Inheritance with no known next of kin. I, having the same last name, just might be related, but(and here's the real kicker) even if I am not, this Lawyer is willing to overlook this fact.

[2Cdo]

I'm feeling neglected as I have never recieved any offers of free money!

[Strutz]

Cool.

When it comes through you'll be sure to throw a big party for all us cka peeps eh?

[Yogi]

Strutz wrote:

Cool.

When it comes through you'll be sure to throw a big party for all us cka peeps eh?

You bet there's gonna be a partay! That's when I'll be handing out all yer cheques ala Michael Corleone.

Oh yah. That nice Mr. David requested that I 'keep this quiet' so I know yous are all to be trusted, but don't tell anyone else what we got going on, or sure as hell they'll be wanting in on it too!

[PublicAnimalNo9]

Hell, I get so much junk about winning European lotteries and all the apparent relatives I had that died while leaving substantial sums of money in Lagos, Nigeria, I could pay off half of Canada's national debt and still be rich.

[Yogi]

So. 'Mr. David' really sent me a reply!


My Dearest Theresa Spence,

Thanks a lot for your timely response and your willingness to be my partner in this once in a life time opportunity. I have taken time to put all machinery in place to ensure the smooth, successful and hitch free execution and completion of this deal. Now the time is ripe for us to actualise the deal, So I need your unwavering cooperation, support and assistance to make this deal successful.

All we need to do now is to employ the service of an agent who will represent us in doing all the required transfer processing and paper works on our behalf, while I will be given the agent all necessary advise, directives and information needed. With your unwavering cooperation and assistance we shall conclude this deal on or before 14 banking days. Please I need your private phone and bank account where you want the money to be deposited. Note the account could be newly opened or an old account without cash in there.


I am considering our investment in the oil sector where you already have the knowledge and expertise.On receipt of your urgent response, I will kick start the deal proper. Please this transaction must be kept confidential until we have the money into your bank account for our investment.

Thanks again.

Mr. Peterson David.


(my underline-my bold)

Now I've got to come up with some banking info for this guy.

[DrCaleb]

Yogi wrote:

So. 'Mr. David' really sent me a reply!

Now I've got to come up with some banking info for this guy.

Too bad you didn't have a GST cheque, then you could get the numbers for the Reciever General of Canada.

[Yogi]

DrCaleb wrote:

Yogi wrote:

So. 'Mr. David' really sent me a reply!

Now I've got to come up with some banking info for this guy.

Too bad you didn't have a GST cheque, then you could get the numbers for the Reciever General of Canada.

Great idea Caleb!

As a matter of fact...