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CKA Uber
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 12:36 pm
 


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Ladies, if you had your heart set on catching Ryan Lochte's eye, you may need to reevaluate your strategy for landing the biggest catch at the London Olympics.

As his mother, Ike, explained to "Today" this week, Ryan doesn't have time to get involved in relationships. He's more of a love 'em and leave 'em type.

"He goes out on one-night stands," Ike said during an interview. "He's not able to give fully to a relationship because he's always on the go."

You hear that ladies? Ryan rounds the bases on opening day. He wins gold in the heats. If forgetting your name was an Olympic sport, he'd have more medals than Michael Phelps. Or something like that.

Either Lochte and his mom are super-close and she knows way too much about his love life, or Mrs. Lochte has fallen victim to the oft-hilarious "mom slang," where she means something else than the current usage. In this case, rather than speaking carnally, Mrs. Lochte could be saying Lochte goes out on a lot of one-night dates and doesn't have time to pursue a relationship. This may be the sort of quote that's lost in translation, like when my mom used to ask me on a Friday night whether I was going to "hook up with my friends."

Lochte was linked earlier in the Olympics to Australian swimmer Blair Evans. Aussie tabloids reported the pair were seen "cozying up" to each other.

Fret not though, Olympic viewers who already have names for the kids you're going to have with Lochte. He'll settle down with a woman one day, Ike said. Who will she be?

"They have to be a family-loving person that could stand having a large, crazy family," she told CNN's Piers Morgan. "And just be real to themselves."


http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/blogs/olympi ... HQD;_ylv=3


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CKA Uber
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 12:56 pm
 


WTF 8O

Mom's a pimp?


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CKA Uber
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 1:07 pm
 


Reminded me of that old joke...

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in. "Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?," he says.

"That's cool" says Bobby.

Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do.

Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.

Carrie's father responds "why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."

Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby-so he asks Carrie's Dad to repeat it.

"Yeah," says Carries father, "Carrie really likes to screw; she'll screw all night if we let her!"

Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and his plan for the evening was beginning to look pretty good.

A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go. Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.

About 20 minutes later, Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father:

"DAMMIT DADDY! IT'S CALLED THE TWIST!!!"


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CKA Uber
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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 1:32 pm
 


:lol:


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 1:52 pm
 


:lol:


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 1:54 pm
 


"They have to be a family-loving person that could stand having a large, crazy family," she told CNN's Piers Morgan. "And just be real to themselves."

:roll: Pfffffffft.........she'll need a big rack too. Cuz Ryan likes the big rack.


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