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PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:28 pm
 


Living In Ontario



Jeff Foxworthy on "Ontario"...

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Ontario.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Wawa is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Ontario.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in Ontario.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in Ontario.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Ontario.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Ontario.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Ontario.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Ontarian :

1. "Vacation" means going South past London for the weekend.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching

6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

10. Down South to you means Windsor.

11. Your 1st of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

14. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all Ontario friends .


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 10:36 am
 


lyonhart wrote:
Living In Ontario


If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Wawa is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Ontario.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you might live in Ontario.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of the year, you might live in Ontario.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Ontario.


YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Ontarian :

1. "Vacation" means going South past London for the weekend.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching

6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

10. Down South to you means Windsor.

11. Your 1st of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

14. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all Ontario friends .



I can relate to most of the above. I grew up in Kitchener. Anyone on here from there?


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 10:56 am
 


Substitute "Windsor" and "London" for "Saskatoon" and "Regina" and I've heard all of these before.

Same goes for pretty much every other province.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 18, 2006 11:07 am
 


All except for the indoor Canada Day picnic work for me :P


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