CKA Forums
Login 
canadian forums
bottom
 
 
Canadian Forums

Author Topic Options
Offline
Forum Elite
Forum Elite
User avatar
Profile
Posts: 1253
PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:40 pm
 


The Priest and The Pub

In a small town, In the North of England not 5 miles from the Scottish Border there was a Church. And this church was called St.Andrew’s although clearly being on the English side it should have been called St. George’s. It didn’t really matter though. It had belonged to the Church of England since the time of Henry VIII.

The Church of England’s teaching about private confessions was:
“All May,
None Must,
Some Should.”
; And the man Rev. Stanley was receiving the confession from defiantly fell under the last line.

“So my son, why are you here?” said Stanley, a devout Anglo-Catholic

“Father I have sinned”, The man who was hidden from the Priest’s view declared.

“We all do”, replied the Reverend in his black shirt and white clerical collar.

“Well yes father, but I have sinned awfully bad.”

“What heinous crime did you commit my son?” replied Stan as he ran his hair through his blond hair.

“Well, I got into a bar fight, and-“

“A bar fight? We all get into those, were in Northern England! Your sins are forgiven just-“

“No father, I don’t think you understand… the man I fought, he was-“

“ A Bobby? A Doctor, A lawyer, what my son? I don’t have all day ya’know” replied Stanley impatiently.

“ He was a Priest father.” Said the man repentfully.

“Oh dear,” replied the Priest, “Oh dear indeed. Tell me more about this fight, when did it happen?”

“Two days ago.”

“Thursday?”

“No it was Friday, You all right?”

“No, no, I’m fine, just have a bit of a sore head, do go on”

“Well I’m in a Pub called the Red Rover, you know it right?”

“The one in Crompton?” Stanley replied, referring to the popular pub of ill repute where he had been going to drown his troubles lately.

“Yes, that’s the one. I was in the Rover, placing bets on the Cricket match, oh dear that’s another sin isn’t it Reverend?”

“Yes but never mind that, continue your story”. Rev. Stanley was quite sure he remembered Friday and the Red Rover in Crompton for some reason.

“Well I was placing bets on the Cricket match and, this fellow wearing a black shirt with a priest collar thing-“

“Clerical Collar?”

“Ya one of those. Anyways this priest guy, who was drunk out of his head, comes up and starts talking to me…”

Stanley wasn’t putting two and two together yet; he had been drinking too much, trying to forget his wife.

“…about his wife and divorce and bloody everything. Well I listened to him and we became friends, and he even told me to place a bet.”

“Really?” asked Rev. Stan. Recently he vaguely remembered telling someone something, something he new was lucky.

“Yes and I refused his advice as he was drunk and I figured it wasn’t worth much.”

“That was odd”, Stan remembered a feeling of rejection and feeling misunderstood.

“Well then the guy took a sip of my beer, and that was too far. I punched him, and he fell to the floor.”

“Bingo!”, the lights that had been blaring in Rev. Stanley’s head finally awoke his memory, HE had been in a bar fight at the Red Rover on Friday with a man who didn’t take his advice on Cricket betting.

“ I know this may sound odd but I think I was that priest…”

BAM! Through the Thin Wood Mesh came a fist hitting Stan right in the face.

“That’s for no making me follow your advice! I would have won fifty quid!”

The man stormed away and Reverend Stanley sighed.
He guessed it was all part of being a Priest in Northern England.

I would Appreciate Advice on inmproving it.


Offline
CKA Super Elite
CKA Super Elite
 Boston Bruins
User avatar
Profile
Posts: 6578
PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:45 pm
 


Quote:
I would Appreciate Advice on inmproving it.



First things I noticed were the spelling and punctuation errors. Hope you didn't copy and paste... Oh, and you should try to avoid starting a sentence with and, but, and because. :D

Otherwise, great job.


Offline
Forum Elite
Forum Elite
User avatar
Profile
Posts: 1253
PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:49 pm
 


Actually this took about an hour to write, Your right I need to do some editing, I think I will do that tommorrow when I am not tired.


Offline
CKA Super Elite
CKA Super Elite
 Boston Bruins
User avatar
Profile
Posts: 6578
PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 8:52 pm
 


Is this for an assignment for school? Very brave of you to share, thanks.


Offline
Forum Elite
Forum Elite
User avatar
Profile
Posts: 1253
PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:03 pm
 


nope, i was bored and had nothing better to do...


Offline
CKA Uber
CKA Uber
 Ottawa Senators


GROUP_AVATAR
User avatar
Profile
Posts: 17100
PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2006 9:22 pm
 


hamiltonguyo wrote:
nope, i was bored and had nothing better to do...



lol, nice. :lol:


Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 6 posts ] 



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest



cron
 
     
All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owner.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © Canadaka.net. Powered by © phpBB.