| |
| Author |
Topic Options
|
figfarmer
Forum Elite
Posts: 1682
 Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:30 pm
This is an idea that has come and gone a number of times over the years. I think the time has come for it to happen. I think the place for it is here. The precept is quite simple. Somewhere there is a child. If they could post a letter to God this is what it would say.
|
figfarmer
Forum Elite
Posts: 1682
Posted: Tue Dec 14, 2004 6:36 pm
Dear God,
I am very thankful for the rice I had today. I wish I could have my daddy back, but you took him to be with you last year when the tanks came. Mommy says she'll be with him soon because of the infection. I wish I could go too. God, could you make it so it doesn't hurt so much when the soldiers come in the night please? I know I should be grateful to them because they have come all the way across the ocean to save me, but it still hurts when they do that. Your humble servant.
Miriam
|
Vanni_Fucci
Active Member
Posts: 106
Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2004 12:00 am
Wow Fig...that's so sad... 
I'd have to drink vast amounts of alcohol, and wake up with the world's worst hangover, casting myself into a miasma of self-loathing and depression to be able to top that post...
...or I could just watch CNN for a few hours... 
|
figfarmer
Forum Elite
Posts: 1682
Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2004 8:32 am
CNN'LL do it.
|
figfarmer
Forum Elite
Posts: 1682
Posted: Thu Dec 16, 2004 11:21 am
Dear God,
Father Boyle says that everything that happens is your will. That makes what happened yesterday your fault and I'm thinking of seeing my lawyer. What I'm talking about is that crap that happened when I ran over that foriegner and wrecked my new Beamer. My finger bled. Do you hear me God? BLED when I broke my nail trying to get the door open. If you think I'm going to take this laying down you have another think coming. One more like that and I'll be worshipping The Dark Lord from there on in.
Faithfully
Mary Elisabeth
Last edited by figfarmer on Sat Dec 18, 2004 3:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
|
BiffGuy
Junior Member
Posts: 53
Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2004 2:20 pm
On my way to a party, fig, but I'll post a letter later. This is four nights of partying in a row. That's more than I usually do in a year. I'm fucking social butterfly!
Great idea!
Biff
Silence says it all.
www.biffmitchell.com
|
BiffGuy
Junior Member
Posts: 53
Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2004 2:20 pm
On my way to a party, fig, but I'll post a letter later. This is four nights of partying in a row. That's more than I usually do in a year. I'm a fucking social butterfly!
Great idea!
Biff
Silence says it all.
www.biffmitchell.com
|
figfarmer
Forum Elite
Posts: 1682
Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2004 3:07 pm
where the 'a' went. Maybe you'll get lucky yet and it'll be, "I'm fucking a social butterfly." Back around Madoc Ontario it's more like, "I'm fucking a sociable sheep." Ewwwwww. Anybody wanna buy a used ewe?
|
BiffGuy
Junior Member
Posts: 53
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 4:21 pm
Please God, give me the power to stuff wads of paper into Biff's ears while he's sleeping so that I can finally kill the bastard. He's been fucking my butterfly collection. Please send flaming spitballs at Fig for giving him the idea. And God, could you get the people from Whiskas to start putting live mice in the original blend. And God. one more thing, could you drop 10 thousand pounds of shit from my litter box on the heads of every politician in the world. I've been saving it for you, babe.
Not Biff...Pico
Purring says it all.
www.biffmitchell.com
|
figfarmer
Forum Elite
Posts: 1682
Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 9:13 pm
but I've smelled moth balls.
|
figfarmer
Forum Elite
Posts: 1682
Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 5:44 am
Dear God,
Yeah; it's been a while. I still think what you did to your boy is utterly reprehensible and what you did to me is totally beyond words. I've been getting some help and hope to be able to forgive you soon. Tell Jesus I said hi and wish him happy birthday for me.
Your Puppet
Judas
|
figfarmer
Forum Elite
Posts: 1682
Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 8:38 pm
Dear God,
I offered to take that boy. "Send him to Canada where he'll be safe." I told Al, but Al thought he'd be ok because he came through Nam ok. Then the boy got that shrapnel in his hand and we thought he'd come home, but they said he'd have to finish his tour. Then that was nearly done, only two weeks left. Then he went down in that helicopter on the 25th. Was it just a coincidence it was the 25th? Was it a freakin' cosmic joke? Well I don't get it. His uncle Al doesn't get it. His mama sure as Hell doesn't get it. Maybe you could explain it to us.
Larry
(In memory of Allan Klein 9-16-70 to 1-25-05)
Last edited by figfarmer on Sat Jan 29, 2005 4:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
|
Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 10:31 pm
RETURN TO SENDER
|
Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2005 10:32 pm
Anonymous Anonymous: RETURN TO SENDER
|
DMP08
Forum Elite
Posts: 1129
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2005 2:00 am
Letters FROM God:
Anyone seen my son? I sent him out for milk quite a while ago...
Okay, What did I miss while I was on my vacation....OHhhhhh, shit!
Dear humanity, QUIT IT...assholes.
|
 
|
Page 1 of 2
|
[ 17 posts ] |
Who is online |
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest |
|
|
