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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 7:34 pm
 


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If you can't find someone there who will read it, lemme know. I have a good friend who teaches creative writing and I'm sure she'd love to pick through it for ya. :wink:


Cool! Feel free to send her what I have posted here... :D


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 7:59 pm
 


Good start. R=UP

You seem to be on the right track and with some fine tuning and practice you should get better. This is out of what I normally would read so in all honesty I probably wouldn't be taking this out of the library but I'm sure this would be right up other peoples alley. In any case just keep at it and don't let anyone or anything discourage you from writing. Also I know it is just a draught but make sure you proof read it over. :)


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 4:45 pm
 


Clogeroo wrote:
Good start. R=UP

You seem to be on the right track and with some fine tuning and practice you should get better. This is out of what I normally would read so in all honesty I probably wouldn't be taking this out of the library but I'm sure this would be right up other peoples alley. In any case just keep at it and don't let anyone or anything discourage you from writing. Also I know it is just a draught but make sure you proof read it over. :)


Thanks for the words. :D I am proof-reading it now.

I got a bunch more ideas swirling and some more writing done this weekend while I was in the country... :D


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2007 10:48 pm
 


Update:


I have another two segments done, and I just may get it published. :D


I ahe to edit like mad and revise and whatnot before I send it in. I also have to create a synopsis that will make them want to read the first ten pages of a book. On top of that, I need to make damn sure that the first ten pages are interesting enough. If that happens, then I might get a publishing deal! :D


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 29, 2007 10:25 pm
 


Here's the next part of chapter one. Holy hell, this is a long ass chapter...







[align=center]*****[/align]

[align=center]183 years later[/align]

Daes Nazcavar admired the beautiful day that it was. The Sea was bright blue and teeming with fish for his morning catch. The sun was shining, and barely a cloud in the sky. He looked back towards the shoreline where he saw the beautiful white sand beaches and emerald green trees of the coast. As the salty morning air entered his lungs, he breathed a relaxing sigh and lay down in the bottom of his boat. "I love being a fisherman in Acacia" he said to himself. The weather was like this all year round, unlike the West, where the cold mountain air kept everything cool, even during the summer. The gentle rocking and creaking of the boat, the sound of water splasing up against the hull, was very soothing to him. He just lay there for a little while, using his dreadlocked hair as a pillow and feeling the warm sun on his brown skin. He just drifted on the sea and nearly dozed off until he heard someone shout out: "Avea, Daes!" It was Mero, the son of Daes' neighbour.

"I doubt that Peisas or Beosea will give you many fish if all you do is sleep in your boat all morning," Mero said with a playful smile.

Daes laughed. "How can I expect to catch fish if you're shouting all morning? Peisas should overturn your boat," he said with a smile.

"He may do as he wishes, but it is Beosea who rewards fishermen and weary ocean travellers. I shall have a boat full of water and tonnes of fish, and all you shall have is a sunburn." Mero loved messing with other people's minds.

"Mero," Daes chuckled, "you truly are a disillusioned Acacian. Beosea rewards only the humblest and unselfish of fishermen and travellers. This means that in your case, you will catch a boatful of bloated demonfish."

Mero laughed. "Then you would be sad."

"How so?"

"Because you would lament the fate of your brothers and sisters that would lie in the bottom of my boat." He smiled wryly at Daes.

"Mero," Daes began. "Please don't make me hit you with my steering oar."

The two of them shared many more laughs that morning as they fished for all kinds of ocean dwellers to sell later that morning in the market at Adrianople. Their morning catch was a decent one that mainly consisted of razorfish and salmon. Daes noticed that the sun was beginning to reach its zenith, and suggested to Mero that they stop for the morning, on top of the fact that the sea had become far more rough than it had been two hours ago. Mero agreed and they reeled in their nets and headed back to the harbour of Adrianople in Empress Bay. It was truly a site to behold. As they approached the white marble obelisks that made the Habour Crown, the city unveiled itself to them, seemingly rising out of the water. The beautiful southern wall of Adrianople shone in the late moning light. Beyond that lay the white houses, temples, promenades, cantons and boulevards of the city, with many luscious green trees spread throughout. Adrianople was truly worthy of being called the pearl of Archenland.

Daes and Mero walked up the many stairs until they reached the market where they sold their morning catches. After they had sold every last fish, they headed back to the harbour to prepare for their afternoon catch.

"Even with all that talk about me not catching fish, I still caught more than you, Mero." Daes taunted.

"Nonetheless, I came very close. The Gods shall yet vindicate me and reward me." Mero declared in his usual joking and over the top tone.

"You say that as if they owe it to you," Daes said with a smirk.

"But of course." He jumped on top of a crate. "For I am Mero Orista! The greatest fisherman of all time!" He struck a pose not unlike that of the superbly corny superhero.

"You know," began Daes, "I think a little part of me died inside after seeing that spectacle."

Mero laughed. "Aha! It is my truly great fisherman skills that strike at your very core! Akari should prepare for your death at the hands of my superiority!"

"Keep this up, and he may very well have to."

The two of them took their time checking their fishing ships. They made sure that their nets were not tangled, broken, or damaged in any other way. They made sure that their ships were sea worthy, and embarked for the afternoon's catch. The stronger winds of the late morning had picked up slightly, but it wasn't anything they couldn't handle. They cast their nets out several times before Mero noticed something off in the distance. He couldn't tell if it was just the waves, but he could've sworn that for a minute he saw something splash in the water. He saw it again. He still couldn't make it out, but something was splashing.

"Daes, waht do you suppose that is over there?" He pointed towards the splashing object.

"Not sure. It could be a dolphin, a shark, or an injured fi...Wait a minute. By the Gods, it's a person!"

"What?!"

"Drop the nets, we have to help them!"

Without a moment's hesitation, they dropped their nets and began to steer their boats towards the person. As they got closer, they could hear garbled cries for help. It was the voice of a woman. The winds were picking up, and was hindering their progress. They inched their way closer, but it seemed as though the more determined they were to rescue this person, the more determined the wind was to blow harder. Daes and Mero urged their boats closer, but the girl was clearly about to drown. Daes saw her head disappear below the surface of the now murky water. He quickly cut a tow line from his boat, tied it around his waist, and jumped into the abyss below him. Mero shouted after him, but it was too late.

"Sandera, this is all we need today," he growled. He threw a line over to Daes' boat and followed it by leaping over to it. He tied his boat's line to the mast and headed to where he had last seen the girl. He began shouting into the water, hoping that they could hear him below.

After a quick glance, Daes noticed the girl floating limply in the water like an eerie ghost. He swam over to her, and pulled her up with all of his strength. As he broke the surface, he could hear and see Mero not too far away.

"Koibara! You scared the shit out of me!" He bellowed.

"Mero, help me get her on board," was all Daes replied.

After they got her limp body on the deck, they noticed that she was not breathing. Being fishermen, they knew how to resuscitate someone who has just nearly drowned. It didn't take long before this mysterious girl regained her consciousness and coughed up about a litre of sea water. As she came to, and got her bearings, she began to speak, albeit very quietly.

"Where am I?" She asked.

"Your on a fishing boat. My name is Daes, and this is Mero."

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am."

"Thank you. Both of you."

"Not a problem," said Mero humbly while giving a small bow.

"Mero, please get her a towel. They should be in the trunk beside the mast. What's your name?"

"My name?"

"Yes."

"My name is Aina Metori. Who are you?"

"I believe we already told you." Daes smiled. "My name is Daes and he is Mero."

Aina blushed. "Oh, right. Sorry."

"No need to be sorry," professed Mero. "After all, everyone feels sorry for Daes."

Daes just rolled his eyes and said har har. After Mero's incredibly bad joke, they gave Aina some towels to dry herself off and proceeded to head back to the harbour. Since it would be a while, a conversation began about where Aina came from and what she was doing in the middle of the sea. She told them that she had run away from her fiance, who was an abusive, gluttonous, corrupt individual who ran a business in Seitmar. He had come to Adrianopa to pick up his bride-to-be, but she had run away. You see, her father owed this man a few favours, but couldn't pay them off and was coerced into giving away his daughter, who was extremely beautiful and thought to have had her beauty shaped by Aurora herself. She had met her fiance once before, and absolutely hated him. So, she decided to run away. Not only was she inexperienced with boats, but the waves had been fairly large as well and capsized her boat. That's when she began to splash around and that's when they found her.

Even though wet and half-drowned, she was still extremely beautiful. She had blonde hair to about the middle of her back, aquamarine eyes, and the bronzed skin commonly associated with Acacians. She seemed to have a strong aura about her. Daes couldn't put his finger on, but her mere presence seemed to soothe him. He noticed that she was looking at him with those gorgeous and hauntingly beautiful eyes. He couldn't help but continue to gaze into her eyes. She seemed unable to avert her eyes as well. Daes, realizing how awkward this was getting, just smiled and then looked at his feet. Aina did the same. It was Mero's announcement that made them look up again.

"Look," he said. "I can see the white obelisks of Adrianopa harbour."

[align=center]*****[/align]

[align=center]Five years later[/align]

It had been 188 years since telling the Arcs in the mountains about the prophecy. Lupin stood on the cliff looking east towards the sea. The time had finally come. He knew that he had little time to make preparations, and he wasn't even sure if this plan would work, but he had to try. The signs would be revealed soon, and he had to be ready for them. The baby was about to be born and stolen away from this land.

He closed his eyes and bowed his head and said only one thing.

"Sorry, Aurora."

He turned around and dispappeared into the forest.

[align=center]*****[/align]

Aina could feel the baby kicking. She had gotten used to it by now. It had after all been almost nine months. She was positively ecstatic at the prospect of motherhood. She had an old friend who volunteered to be a midwife, and already had toys and clothes and preparations made for the baby. But amid all this happiness, she also knew of what was to come. Daes Nazcavar was a descendant of Daes Aladar, whose descendants were the first true Kings and Emperors of Arkanlandaya. Aina also felt ashamed, because Daes didn't know that she was actually Aurora, the Godess of Love and Beauty. On top of that, the old friend of ehre who was the midwife was actually Natalia, the Godess of Fertility. Also, the child she was carrying was supposed to bring balance to the world, but how; she did not know. To make things even worse, she knew she could not stay forever, because she still loved her husband Romm, who was chief of the Gods of Artana.

Not enjoying being sad, she expelled these thoughts from her mind and focused again on the joy of becoming a mother. Soon she would be the proud mother a beautiful baby boy or girl. Either way she'd be happy. She glowed with the glow of expectant mothers and had managed to keep her figure with the exception of her belly that now carried her child. She slowly rubbed her stomach. and gave a sigh of pure happiness and serenity. It did not last, for mere seconds later, she had violent contractions. She called for the midwife.

"Natalia! Help me! I think I'm going into labour!"

Natalia came rushing from upstairs with some laundry still in her hands and rushed to Aina's side. Mero was right behind her.

"Mero," began Natalia, "go and get Dael and the other aides and tell them to bring a stretcher. We're going to have a water birth as planned."

That night, Aina went into labour.

[align=center]*****
[/align]


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 7:15 pm
 


bump. :twisted:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 10:08 pm
 


Update:

I am soooooooo clsoe to being done chapter one! :D

BTW, please read the most recent update and comment. Any and all feedback is valued.

Goodnight everyone! :D :wink:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 10:15 pm
 


I am really liking this AM....when its published i want a copy.....keep it up....you have a talent that most should admire.... PDT_Armataz_01_37


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 10:19 pm
 


TattoodGirl wrote:
I am really liking this AM....when its published i want a copy.....keep it up....you have a talent that most should admire.... PDT_Armataz_01_37


Thank you kindly! :D

I'll upload the rest of Chapter One tomorrow. I personally like the part I'm about to upload the best. It really starts to get the story rolling and wraps up all the events that lead up to the main storyline. :wink:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 30, 2007 10:30 pm
 


Arctic_Menace wrote:
TattoodGirl wrote:
I am really liking this AM....when its published i want a copy.....keep it up....you have a talent that most should admire.... PDT_Armataz_01_37


Thank you kindly! :D

I'll upload the rest of Chapter One tomorrow. I personally like the part I'm about to upload the best. It really starts to get the story rolling and wraps up all the events that lead up to the main storyline. :wink:


I cant wait....I'll be reading it....Cheers!


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 12:01 pm
 


Here it is, the rest of chapter one. :D


This part comes right after the "Aina went into labour" aprt.








[align=center]*****[/align]

Lupin stood on an outcrop of the mountain that gave him a nearly perfect view of the East. He noticed that the Twin Moons were almost at their zenith, which meant that he must now begin the incantations that would hopefully make a bloodmoon rise. He quickly drew the markings and sacred words into the dirt and proceeded with the ceremony. He removed the symbol of brotherhood from his bracelet and carefully pressed it into the ground and removing it, leaving a perfect imprint of the symbol. He then drove his spear into the ground beside it.

"By the powers granted to me by the Omrissana, I command the forces of nature to yield to me. By the power of brotherhood and the spirit of the hunt, I; Lupin command the natural forces to grant me their power so that I may serve a greater purpose."

At this point, the symbol he had imprinted in the ground and the tip of his spear began to glow white and emit a high pitched chime. He uprooted his spear from the ground, spun it around so that the tip was now facing the ground, and thrust his spear into the centre of the symbol. The chime got louder and louder until it suddenly dissipated into a great shockwave. Lupin raised his hands and held them together in such a way that his two thumbs and four fingers formed a triangle between them and pointed with his hands eastward.

"Aurora, please forgive me," was all he said before he recited the incantation that would give rise to a bloodmoon.

[align=center]*****[/align]

"Push Aina, push," Natalia commanded. Aina cried out in pain. It was unbearable. "Breathe for me, breathe," she commanded again as she coached Aina through the whole process. The only sounds were that of the heavy breathing of Aina and the crashing of the waves.

"Maera, wrap Aina in a blanket, please."

"Yes ma'am," said one of the aides.

"Natalia, it hurts."

"I know Aina, but please, I need you to push for me."

Aina pushed with all her strength. It was unbearable. She felt as if something was wrong, but she couldn't tell waht.

"Natalia, I think something's wrong. It's not coming out!"

"Calm down. Nothing is wrong, the baby is just being a stubborn little thing."

"Come on, honey," chimed in Daes. "You can do it."

Aina pushed again and cried with pain. She did not enjoy giving birth. It was excrutating and to make things worse, the wind was picking up to a almsot violent level.

"Looks like a windstorm is coming on," commented one of the aides. Their attention was brought back to Aina giving birth when Natalia made an announcement.

"I think I see the head."

"Aina," began Natalia, " I need to give me another big push. Aina?"

Aina's eyes and thoughts were fixated in fear to the east across the sea. Everyone turned to see what had struck such fear into her eyes.

A bloodmoon.

It hung low over sea, red as a ruby, glaring at them. The bloodmoon was both a blessing and a curse for those born under it. While it granted you protection from Lupin, it also meant that you had to answer to his call.

Aina simply whispered through her heavy breaths "Lupin, how could you do this to me?"

It hurt their eyes to stare at the bloodmoon, especially with the intense winds hitting them in the face making their eyes water. Daes had a sneaking suspicion of something. A violent storm but a cloudless sky. He looked up. Twin Moon directly above them. Bloodmoon across the sea. These were all the signs that would mark the Sojourner of prophecy. His stomach sunk. He was almost too afraid to ask, but he knew that he must. He looked at Aina, who was still panting adn sweating from labour.

"Aurora?"

She looked up at him and gave him such a face of guilt and regret, that he almost broke down crying. She simply nodded but then cried out in pain. The baby was finally coming out.

"I can see the head. Push Aurora, push." Natalia was a diligent as ever.

One of the aides turned to her wide-eyed.

"Well," explained Natalia, "it was pretty much out in the open once we saw the bloodmoon in front of us and the Twin Moons above us." She focused on Aurora again. "Push, the baby's almost out."

Aurora summoned the last of her strength and pushed with all her might while uttering a scream that could wake the dead.

"I've got it," declared Natalia. "Aurora, Daes...You are both the parents of a beautiful baby boy and the Sojourner of prophecy."

Upon uttering these words, the sky cracked and rumbled with thunder. Everyone looked skyward, only to see a perfectly clear sky.

"I need a blanket for the boy, or else he'll freeze in these winds." Immediately, an aide handed her a blanket which she wrapped the boy in. "Have you two decided on a name yet?"

"Dael," they said in unison. "Dael Amestidi Nazcavar."

"That's beautiful name," said Natalia with a smile. "Here, he should be with his mother. Amazing. The thunder didn't make him cry." And without a further word, she handed Dael to Aurora. Aurora smiled as she cradled the boy, who looked curiously at the world around him.

"Hi baby," she whispered. "I have a gift for you."

She placed her first two fingers to her lips, whispered something in Ancient Elvish, and placed those two fingers on the child's chest. A strange, black seal appeared on the child's chest. Dael made a small grunt as the seal appeared on his chest. Aurora smiled and said:

"This gift I give to thee, child of the Gods."

Now having used the last of her energy, she fainted from exhaustion.

[align=center]*****[/align]

Lupin suddenly felt a disturbance. It echoed through his body. He listened closer. He tried to locate whatever caused the disturbance, but was having trouble. Suddenly, all went quiet with the exception of a baby gurgling. Lupin could not see the baby in his mind, but saw a glowing mark on the child. It was the Blocking Seal.

He opened his eyes. He knew what had just happened. That child had just been blessed by a God or Godess.

"Aurora..."

Lupin suddenly knew that Aurora had placed the blocking seal on her child to protect the child from him. He knew that this would complicate things to the highest degree.

"Damn it, Aurora..."

He glared eastward, and then dissolved into the dark, wind-torn night.

[align=center]*****[/align]

Orisian, Shaman of the Jetatani craned his neck skyward. Winds whipped his face and clothes as he stared skyward at the Twin Moons hanging high above all. He brought his eyes back down and stared out across the sea. A moon as red as blood hung low, staring down the world. All the signs he had been told of were there. The young Shaman cracked a smile.

"It would appear that it is time."

[align=center]*****[/align]

It had been a month since Dael was born. There were no complications with the delivery, all went smoothly and the baby was healthy as could be. The only problem was the sense of dread that hung over the house. It became clear to everyone in the house what this child would have to suffer through. Daes had gone silent and Aurora was second guessing having brought this child into this world. She still loved Romm and her two children in Artana, but also loved Daes and her newborn baby. She also knew that her newborn child would suffer all his life. "What kind of mother would condemn her own child to that fate?" she thought to herself.

She slowly stood up and gently walked over to the crib in the den. Dael was sleeping quietly in his crib, safe and sound. Aurora bent down and lightly kissed his forehead. She got up slowly and decided to have a quick walk to clear her mind. She knew that Daes was upstairs, and Natalia was just outside hanging up some laundry. She stood in the doorway for a moment looking back at her baby. She felt an uneasiness envelop her, which sent a shiver down her spine. She stepped through the doorway. She saw Natalia to her left.

"Dael is sleeping and Daes is upstairs. I'm going on a quick walk."

"See you shortly, Aurora."

[align=center]*****[/align]

"I want you three to guard the front door. Maisara, you go in and get that damned child. Koda, you're with me. We'll cover the back."

"But Sir," began one of the agents, "is it really necessary to murder this child?"

"We are under orders from the Gaimana himself and I expect you to follow them. One more word out of you and we'll have two dead souls by the day's end. Now everyone, take up your positions."

Little did these men know, that right above them, Daes had hidden himself on his balcony and had heard every word. He crawled back into the house and ran to grab a club. He hid around a corner, where he could hear the men breaking in to his house. Now he heard footsteps. They were heading through the kitchen to the den, where the baby was. He peered around the corner where he saw one robed individual slowly walk towards the crib. Daes tip-toed up behind him.

Daes said "hey" which promted the man to turn around dumbfounded only to be hit in the face with a club.

Dael started to cry in his crib. Daes picked him up and carried him upstairs, burst through the upstairs bedroom door, leaped onto the balcony and jumped onto his neighbour's balcony. Below him, he saw the men who had been talking earlier arguing with city guards. Unfortunately, his crying son and the noise he made earlier was noticed by these men who shouted and pointed up to him.

"Stop Him!" they cried.

Daes jumped down from his neighbours balcony. The fall winded him, but he knew that he had to run away from these people. He ran as fast as he could towards the harbour. He knew that his old friend Rayos the merchant was in town and owed him a few favours. First though, he had to ditch these men and the city guards. Thankfully, he knew a shortcut. He deked around a corner and crouched down behind a large pile of crates. As soon as he heard the footsteps dissipate, he got up and continued to run down this narrow alley. Soon, the dark alley turned into warm light as the harbour unfolded in front of him. He could see Rayos' ships at the edge of the inner-most dock. He ran over there, with the now silent Dael. Apparently, he enjoyed being carried while running as he had a smile of pure delight on his face right now. Daes smiled back at him as he continued to run and soon found himself at the end of the dock.

"Oh crap, it's you," cracked a voice above him. It was Rayos. "I'm sorry," he continued, "but I cannot pay you back this time. We are just about disembark and I haven't a cent on me!"

"Forget the money and dried fish you owe me, take this child."

"What?!"

"I don't have time for this. This child is extremely important to me and many others, but right now there are a bunch of men after me who want to kill my son. I'll forgive all the debts you owe me if you promise me that you'll take my son and care for him. Here." He took off his seashell necklace and handed it to Rayos with his son. "Give this to him when he's older. Tell him it's his fathers, but don't tell him who I am."

"Daes, what are you going on about?"

"Just shut up, and take him. Keep him safe. I'm putting my faith in you."

Rayos looked into Daes' eyes, and could tell that he was being serious. They stood there for a moment, frozen in time. Rayos broke the silence by calling in his crew and telling them that they were disembarking. He watched it disappear into the horizon. His heart sunk lower tha it had ever been before, for he knew that this was quite possibly the last time he would see his only son and wouldn't be able to see him grow up.

[align=center]*****[/align]

Aurora was returning from her brief walk when she saw a sight that horrified her. Her house was clearly broken into and Natalia lay unconscious on the ground. She rushed over to Natalia and tried to wake her. As soon as she did, she began to cry.

"Aurora, f-forgive me! I should've been more aware..."

"Natalia, what happened?!"

Natalia looked up at her with eyes of pure guilt and sorrow. "They took Dael!"

Aurora's eyes widened. Her heart fell and a lump formed in her throat. No, she begged with herself. Please, no, not so soon.

Later that evening, she was searching furiously for her child or anyone who knew of their whereabouts. She couldn't find Daes or her baby. She kept calling out, hoping that someone could help her in her search. As she turned down a corner, she was met by Lupin. Her face of despair was replaced by a face of pure hatred.

"You bastard!" She yelled. "You back-stabbing, heartless bastard!"

Lupin calmly replied by saying: "Quiet. You will draw attention to us."

"Lupin," she began, "how could you do this to me? How could you curse my child?!"

"It was necessary in order to protect him."

"But why the Bloodmoon?! He was innocent!"

"Aurora, it was necessary. The boy will face many tough challenges that we have laid out for him in his life. His own strength may not be enough, which is why I gave him the strength of the Bloodmoon and currently, he is the only one to be born under the Bloodmoon that is still alive. The others have passed on. I can guide him and teach him. But you had to place a blocking seal on him, which will severely inhibit his power, unless he learss to unleash it, which will more than likely not happen. Do not come to me asking me how I could do this to your child, you did that to him yourself."

"How dare you. Do you not have faith in him? He's a demi-god, and has powers of his own."

"Yes, but in order for the Prophecy to become true, the child must be born under a Bloodmoon. It was the Omrissana's command. The child will be fine, I will watch over him and guide him, and when the time comes, so shall you. Come, Natalia is already back in Artana."

And with those words, Lupin disappeared into the night. Aurora stood there, frozen in thought. Putting faith in Lupin and the Omrissana, she said one last prayer, looked yearningly to the sea, and disappeared into the night.


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 12:12 pm
 


Quote:
bump.

Someone looking for attention? :)

Not a bad start again could use some more proof reading. Mostly grammar but some spelling mistakes too.

Quote:
The two of them shared many more laughs that morning as they fished for all kinds of ocean dwellers to sell later that morning in the market at Adrianople. Their morning catch was a decent one that mainly consisted of razorfish and salmon. Daes noticed that the sun was beginning to reach its zenith, and suggested to Mero that they stop for the morning, on top of the fact that the sea had become far more rough than it had been two hours ago.

Is there a particular reason for the over use of the word "morning"? Does it mean something later?

Also I'm not a big fan of the curse words and it makes you as an author appear lazy but that is just I.


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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 12:17 pm
 


Quote:
Someone looking for attention?


Yes, because I want comments from as many people as possible before I consider sending this in for publishing.

Quote:
Is there a particular reason for the over use of the word "morning"? Does it mean something later?


Yes. The theme of beginning adn end and the endless cycle plays a fairly big part in this book/ones to come.

Quote:
Also I'm not a big fan of the curse words and it makes you as an author appear lazy but that is just I.


I didn't think I used too many swear words. :?

They too serve a purpose. it makes the characters more human and less perfect than the heroes we normally associate with. When I started this, I pretty much refused to have my main characters be goodie-two-shoes kind of people with super strong morals. :lol:

But who knows, maybe they'll change into that later on. :wink:


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CKA Uber
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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 2:03 pm
 


shameless bump. :lol: :twisted:


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CKA Uber
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PostPosted: Tue May 01, 2007 2:46 pm
 


Very Kewl!!! R=UP

It is coming along very well AM, I didnt read many curse words :?

I like the fact of trying to keep the characters more human and personable other than a overly moral character....Keep going.... [BB]


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